As I sat in the waiting area of the school's office awaiting my name to be called for the job interview, I could not help but reflect on all of the life changes that led me to this. Three years ago I was married, and I had two kids I was raising along with my wife. I had a pretty decent job working in logistics for one of those megacorporations. I had a relatively decent retirement savings, and I was worried about the usual things - how to pay for college, how to manage the burden of the debt my wife and I had built up over the years, and how best to raise our children.
In a very short window of time, my wife announced that she was done with me, and left. I had to raise the kids on my own; she had basically walked away from the marriage. My daughter, at thirteen, had been betrayed in ways not easily overcome. Even three years later she struggles with anger management. My son, a year younger, is as angry as my daughter although he has found an outlet in sports. It scares me a little that his three sports are football, wrestling and lacrosse since all three can involve head trauma, but it provides the perfect outlet for his aggression.
My new three-person family unit was just coming to grips with things when we got hit with a double-whammy. Both of my parents, whom both of my kids adored, were killed in an automobile accident caused by a drunk driver and a week later, I lost my job. I was given two months of severance and kicked out to be replaced by a younger kid who knew jack shit but cost the company thousands less in annual salary and health benefits.
I had to sell the house, and I eschewed returning to corporate America. I worked three dead-end jobs from dawn until dusk just to keep the family in food and shelter until I found this job opening. All it required was a degree, and although it was a teacher's position I applied for it.
I knew the money would not be enough, strictly speaking, to get ahead but I had so far managed to avoid dipping into my retirement. It would alleviate my need to work three jobs and provide a sense of stability. After the first interview and after learning that the salary was even better than I had hoped, I found myself clinging to the desperate hope that I'd land the job.
"Mr. Johnson? Follow me please!" An attractive woman, tall and statuesque, wearing a flattering skirt-and-jacket combo, ushered me into the interview room. The talk lasted for nearly an hour, and I left without any real sense one way or the other whether or not I had landed the job. Given my background, I doubted that I would get the position, although it did end up being for 11th grade math. I thought I could do 11th grade math given my MBA and my history in logistics and how that required math to survive.
Two weeks passed without any word, and then I got a call from the head administrator. Nervousness turned to relief when she verbally confirmed the offer to me, and we dickered back and forth for about five minutes over some salary adjustments, but then I gave her my verbal approval. Two days later when I got the formal offer letter, I signed it and sent it off, and me and the kids had a rather pleasant celebratory meal.
I had nerves on my nerves on the first day with students. The first day with fellow teachers was bad enough, and although everyone was pleasant I felt like an outsider. I was older - nearly every teacher there was or looked like they were in their twenties. I was still rather bulky and muscular from years of working out and most of the other teachers were thin and lacked muscle definition. The physical differences were the most striking to me.
The attire was business casual. So on my first day at work with students, I wore a pressed pair of khakis and a starched oxford, open at the throat, no tie. I was gratified to see the other male teachers were clothing similar to mine; curiously, I noted that nearly every female teacher wore a skirt-and-oxford combo.
By the end of my first week, the head of the school brought me into her office for a quick chat. She opened without preamble. "So how was your first week?" Although she had a difficult job, she had a sunny disposition and a pleasant smile. Her eyes kind of sparkled with some private amusement behind her stylish glasses. She had the kind of body and facial features that I had always liked, so I had to be careful in my manner around her. I did not want to transmit the fact that I found her attractive.
"To be honest?" I said, inhaling deeply. "It's more gratifying than I could have hoped. I really, truly enjoyed it."
She arched both eyebrows. "Really? Oh that's wonderful!" she smiled at me. "Your background is not the usual manner."
"I know. I uh, on my own accord, have signed up for some education classes." I went on to tell her the name of the local university. She nodded, I assumed pleased with my initiative. She then asked me if I wanted to do any coaching. "There's some extra money in it," she said, and although it wasn't much, I agreed to it. I had played football long ago, and there was an opening with the football coaches.
I got into the rhythm of work. There was more evening and home work to do, what with grading quizzes and papers, and a lot of work preparing myself for the task of teaching. The football coaching was enjoyable although we did not have the greatest team, winning three against six losses. But the other coaches ended up being pretty good guys, and I was for the first time in three years, daring to be happy with my life.
Two nights later, as the three of us actually sat together for a Friday night meal, my daughter looked up at me. "You know, dad, you're looking both thinner and younger. Did you notice?"
I looked at her, surprised. "No, actually, I didn't!" I replied.
She grinned. "Maybe it's being around all those teenagers and their hormones," she teased me gently. "But yeah, you're looking thinner and younger." Intrigued by her observation, after supper was cleared the kids gone from the apartment for their usual Friday night events, I went into the bathroom to study my reflection. I got on the scale. Sure enough, I was down twenty pounds, and staring hard in the mirror I could not really tell that I looked any different. I could not understand why I was losing weight, though. Being a football coach, now I was using the school's gym and working out as often and as hard as ever; there was no reasonable explanation for me losing weight.
As fall turned to winter, and the days got shorter and colder, I found myself home alone more often than not. The kids both had after-school stuff. My daughter finally found an outlet for her anger, and was channelling through music. She had joined the school band and had earned first chair in trumpet, and was playing in the school's newly formed jazz band, and outside of that she had taken to playing guitar and was the lead singer/guitarist of an all-girl band. I had met the girls several times, and they were all young and surly and angry at the world (naturally without knowing why) but their energy they put into their music was positive so I encouraged it. I got my daughter signed up for voice lessons.
And I kept losing weight. I was lifting just as much as I had ever done, but curiously kept losing weight. I found myself comparing my body to that of the other coaches, and like me they were strong and adept in the gym, and just as lithe and thin as me. Having fostered a little more of a friendship with the tenth grade science teacher - who was also on the coaching staff - one night I proposed that we have a drink after work. He agreed readily enough.
We had a beer and were just kind of lightly talking. The topics were inconsequential; by then, most of the staff knew the particulars of my life insofar as to what I had told them. The divorce, the two kids, losing my job and finding this one, and wondering whether I had found my calling. We ordered our second round, and then finally I drew the conversation to the main point of why I had asked him to have a drink or two.