Copyright Oggbashan December 2012
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
**********************
My girlfriend Mary doesn't like reading instruction manuals. She likes finding out for herself. Sometimes her impatience is unfortunate.
She went with one of her friends, Sarah, to London, to buy Indian clothing because Sarah was going to an Indian friend's wedding. The women would be expected to wear saris.
They were pleasantly surprised at the low cost of many saris, especially if bought as a length to be stitched at home, with the blouse material included at the end of the sari.
Sarah bought three ready-made sari outfits with the blouses tailored on the spot to her measurements. Those saris were more expensive because they were for a formal occasion. She also bought a couple of cheaper ones for normal day wear. Mary bought six saris, four of them unstitched, and two with tailored blouses. They both bought several petticoats to wear underneath.
Sarah was very happy with her saris. She wore them in accordance with the photocopied leaflet of instructions that the retailer had given them. She made up the unstitched saris following the detailed diagrams they had also been given.
But Mary put away the instructions and lost them. She had hemmed the unstitched saris and added the lower wear strips. But she hadn't managed to put on a sari correctly. It just fell off. She was not pleased with tying a string to hold up the petticoat because the knot left a bump. She fitted elastic to the waist. She thought the petticoat was too flared. She took it in at the seams to make it a straighter outline.
Mary tried on a heavy silk sari with the modified petticoat. She didn't like the petticoat showing through the overlap. She used Velcro strips to hold the sari's edge together, and to link it to the petticoat. If she had read the instructions that she had mislaid, she would have known how to fold a sari around the waist.
One evening I went to meet her at her flat after work. She was already annoyed because she had spent several hours with her sewing machine. She had changed into the altered petticoat but the sari wouldn't sit correctly no matter how she draped it. She asked me to watch while she put it on again. I liked the idea because she had stripped down to her bra and panties, and she looks wonderful like that.
She pulled the petticoat up to her waist and asked me to fit the end of the sari to the Velcro on the petticoat. I did, wondering why she needed Velcro at all. I then passed the sari around her legs, kissing her bare navel as I went.
"Stop it, Paul!" she snapped. "This is serious. It isn't working."
As I started to wrap the sari around the petticoat she asked me to attach it to the Velcro on the petticoat.
"Are you sure?" I asked. It didn't look right to me.
"Of course I'm sure! Do it!"
I had to pull the sari to make the strips attach. The sari dragged her petticoat tight around her legs.
"Now wrap me!" Mary ordered. I started to take the free length of sari around her legs.
"Not there, Paul! Above the waist and over my body!"
Kneeling on the floor I looked up at her. This wasn't my idea of an enjoyable evening, being ordered around by a cross girlfriend.