I found the clinic answering an ad in the local paper. Only working part time, I'm always scanning the back pages for odd jobs. "Subjects needed for medical test. Must be male, under 30. Call to apply. Free physical." Why not? With no health insurance, it was win-win.
I called, and the receptionist, after confirming that I would qualify, was vague about what exactly would be happening: "Nothing out of the ordinary from a regular physical."
The next day, I find myself staring at the honey-colored walls in the waiting room, which is otherwise empty other than the bored looking receptionist to whom I've given my name, Roger, a moment before. A petite, brown-haired nurse wearing blue scrubs appears from a doorway.
"Roger? Hi, I'm Jen, and I'll be assisting Doctor Liza in your exam today." Jen smiles, causing small dimples to appear on her cheeks.
I follow Jen along a hallway, glancing into the different examination rooms. Like the waiting room, they're empty. We turn a corner and the nurse walks me into the room where I will be having my examination. I hear muffled voices from behind the closed door of the room next door, the first sign of anyone else being here. Jen pats the surface of the exam table indicating that I should hop up and closes the door behind her.
"Ok, I'll be checking your vitals, then Doctor Liza will be with you," Jen explains me while flipping through my chart. After taking my height, weight, and blood pressure, Jen returns to my chart.
"Looks like you're here for the experiment? Ooh, a new subject," Jen jokes. Her voice is light and bubbly.
"Hah, yeah I guess. Do you know what will be happening? They were vague on the phone."
She smiles again.
"Sorry, we aren't allowed to disclose that. It might alter the results," she explains. "But I do have a few questions for you."
She looked back down at her chart. Most of her questions were standard: drinking habits, smoking, etc. Then they began to veer on the sexual. She asked whether I was sexually active, how often I ejaculated, and when I last came. The whole time, she remained cheerful. I stared at her knees while I answered, too embarrassed to look up.
"Before we finish up, I'm going to need a urine specimen. Bathroom is just down the hall." Thank god the questions were over.
She hands me a specimen cup, and I hop up to go to the bathroom. On my way back, I notice that the door to the exam room next to mine is now cracked open. I survey the hallway. Other than nurse Jen, I haven't seen anyone around the clinic. I figure she isn't timing me. I crane my neck to take a peak.
Through the thin slit of the doorway, I can see the white back of a doctor's jacket facing away from me, sitting on a stool, her black hair pulled up neatly in a clip, and two feet placed in stirrups. The legs were muscular, hairy. Because the doctor's back is to me, I can't tell what exactly she's doing. Both of her hands are bent forward, making regular motions. Is this what the "experiment" entails? I feel my stomach drop and wonder if I still have time to get out of here. I glance around the hallway once more, before repositioning myself to get a better view.
I take a step forward. Just then, I hear the patient shutter. A male voice, a deep groan. The doctor does a final firm movement with her hands and then rests for a moment. She says something, I can't quite tell what, but it sounds encouraging, reassuring, firm. She pauses and pulls away on the stool, turning towards me as she does so, a small container of something white in her gloved hands. I immediately turn away but fear she saw me looking, watching. Maybe I can just walk out. Ditch the urine specimen before I go. But when I look up Jen is looking at me from the exam room. She looks embarrassed too, evidently she's seen me looking.
"Sorry, just was wondering whether you got lost or something. You should really give the other patients their privacy. It'll be your turn soon enough." She chuckles, slips on a glove from her scrub pocket, and takes my urine sample. "The doctor will be in in a moment. Try to stay in your room?"
I look around the room nervously while I wait for the doctor to arrive. I can't just sit still, I'm too wound up after that encounter. I get up and start looking at the equipment around the room. I start opening a cabinet under the sink, and see several boxes of latex gloves, when I hear a female voice speak from a foot away from me.
"And you must be Roger? Hopefully we wont need that many gloves for today's exam." Her tone is warm, jovial. Startled, I stand up straight. The cabinet door slams.
I look up to see the same woman from the other room standing in the doorway. My face goes red. Can I do anything right today? She's slender, wearing form-fitting green scrubs with a white doctor's coat. I make out the impression of her breasts and hips even under the professional attire. A pair of red framed glasses sits on her nose.
"I'm doctor Liza, and I'll be conducing your examination today."
"H, hi, yes, I'm Roger," I stammer. I reach out to shake her hand. That same hand that just moments before was buried in someone else.
"Why don't you strip down, and we can get started." I force a smile, and stat fumbling with my shirt. Once I'm down to my underwear, I sit down on the exam table.
Doctor Liza looks over at me from the sink where she has been washing her hands.
"Oh, no. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I need you completely naked for this exam."
I shift to remove my underwear and toss them on top of the pile of clothing already bunched in the corner. The exam paper feels cool on my bare skin. I try to keep my mind from drifting back to what I saw earlier. Doctor Liza brings the stethoscope to her ears.
"I want you to take some deep breaths." The cool stethoscope pushes against my back, and her hand press against my chest. "That's good. Deep breaths." She can probably hear my heart racing. She knows that I saw.
"Breath in, and out. Good." She pronounces "Good" with a cooing. It feels reassuring. Her grip is steady and rehearsed. She finishes checking my lungs and hangs her stethoscope around her neck.
"Please lie back for me. I'm going to need you in the lithotomy position." The what?
As I lean back, I hear the sound of metal from the base of the exam table by craning my neck, I can see that Doctor Liza has brought out a pair of stirrups. I thought those were only for women? I think again of saying I need to go to the bathroom and getting out of here. I try to speak, but my mouth has gone dry. I feel the doctor's hand take my right leg and lift my foot into the stirrup, then repeat with my right.