Roaming Through The Gussets

A bit of fantasy dreamed up by a recent innocent, browsing trip to a new shopping mall in Edinburgh, taking a breather from the world famous arts and comedy festival

*

The odours permeating my extremely sensitive nose were ranging from exotic to milk sweet. The colours were darkest black to not quite, by now, crisp white and housed in delicate silks, lacy frippery, highly patterned miniature cottons and cute polyester slivers. There were also musky, shitty, sweaty stinks, but easily avoided, as all were bundled in large, grey and grubby once white cottons.

I tended to rest in one of the oval, roomy coves which never fully flattened like the scented ones mentioned above, as they were reinforced with wiring going round the rims. On one or two of these, there were pretty bows where the two adjoining coves, sometimes with designed lacy edges in contrasting striking colours came together.

Huge woollens, plaids, fleeces, Lycra, Lycra mixed with polyester, polyester, nylons -- the mix was as diverse as the sizes and shapes and I guessed I was in a household of four, one being male. It was always dark in there and a lot of garments were tightly bundled, folded and crumpled, meaning it took me an age to filter through all the contents and re-live happy memories.

That place was a clue to where next I'd be heading.

Not so happy were the times I fucked up and got to some large cottons. I was rolled, smashed, crushed and fondled, the latter by outside unknown torturers. The stench was ripe, the light dim and I was constantly being clashed from side to side by an enormous sack holding two bulky beings, They were soft, lightly haired and occasionally joined by an imposter whose onion shaped end leaked and left a festering yellow mark until I was released. One horrific experience, thankfully not happening every time, was when I was thrust up by a pointed outsider into a foul dank horribly smelling cave and luckily escaped being smeared with some brown slime. But -- I had no choice,

Fluttering between two fixed and one mobile dark domains apart from the bruising fast spinning barrel of fun where I suffered with them all together, I was never sure who I would be accompanying when out in the brighter varied landscapes, but I knew which two I favoured and certainly not that one I had the cave episode with.

Recently I found myself in the cutest little teddy bear patterned soft travelling mode. A shrill excited voice discussed, breakfast, plans, buses, shops as I started my day. The altitude wasn't very high and it was an easy rise between scrawny, smooth short limbs. There was almost too much material around me to keep me securely in place, which was awkward but provided lots of scope for exploring. The folds were gentle, in a narrow but roomy gap and the pace I was being carried in was very quick. Fast, scampering motions, mine having to react and match them on my behalf to stay safely in place. I needed to cough frequently at the start, some white powder was coating the main cotton, but soon the more gentle scent coming from a simple neat slit which converted to a delicate little protuberance, with a slit in itself, towards the top of the main slit soothed my anxious respirations.

At one noisy point when I could hear swirling tunes of bagpipes, the teddy bears at one side were grabbed and sort of pulled, but all that did, apart from me having to remain intact next to the delightfully smooth small pouch I started against, was to release some of the folds that had ridden up towards the slit with all the dinky little motions, in fact nearer the delicious little rose bud pucker an inch further back. The powder came into play again, but I think it was just residue.

Shortly after, the light was vastly improved, the air was cooler and we were still for a few minutes and I could see a bright ceiling light, tiling, and some gadgets on a wall. Swift, light, pattering flip flop slaps on a tiled floor, then a silence and heavy breathing. The noise had evened out, echoing and for a while the only sound was a merry light tinkling of water, like raindrops onto a small pond. Then suddenly it went dark and I was nestling back in my favourite spot, really really close to that tiny slit, a little damp, but bearable, convinced by past experiences I would be dry later. I couldn't smell much after wards and the powder didn't bother me from then on.

Then on the move again there was laughter, giggles, the shrill voice, shrieks of pleasure, pop music, more shrill voices, loud announcements.

Much later I was transferred unceremoniously to my odorous static domain.

Another day. Result! While grumpy rasping voices seemed to argue, large pink folds encompassed me in a sudden light before I was elevated, high, between long, slightly lumpy limbs, being wriggled round dimpled buttocks, then untidily cuddled up amongst two large orange peel like ravines. It was if I was in a jungle, such was the fair to ginger straggly growth all around. Some of the growth had somehow become entangled between the ravine walls and seemed trapped. On the other hand if I ventured to the outer extremities, I would be suddenly in what could be a harvested area, a bit like being alone in a expanse of crop stubble, harsh and unforgiving. The ravines were nearly dark purple in colour, quite different to the one shade of pink in my last venture. The odour from the ravine was earthily powerful, permeating the whole of my comfy surrounds. The sides of the ravines were like two rough escarpments, coursing shabbily inwards to a long, jagged deep dark fissure in the surfaces, as if two tectonic plates had shifted together. I detected a slight seeping of a dark crimson unctuous grease like substance from the fissure.

Incredibly loud pop music, chink of glass, raucous laughter would be the order of the day.

Much like with the teddy bears, sudden light, cooler air and wall gadgets surrounded me, then the sharp click clack of hard heels on tiles, a loud rasping flat echoing sound followed by what seemed like a deep falling, flood plain waterfall. That stopped but unlike the teddy bears I was made to wait a while. Rustling and tearing of plastic and tissue followed until I found I was being hoisted vertically to find an imposter in my comfy domain. It was a long piece of white string, but I managed to avoid it once it found it's own place. A different stronger odour now existed and stayed until I found myself in the pongy static area before the toss, turn and spin that occurred regularly.

Another day Goodie! my favourite choice -- well it wasn't me choosing, but I always appreciated the challenge this mobile domain posed. I had of course been in this very place many times, but either in larger folds and areas, ranging from - not teddy bears but pandas, swans and fairies and then plainer less patterned, but a delightful spectrum of colours and shades, nearly all pastel but now and then a strong, single tone. Sometimes the decoration was a message. This particular enclosure was limited, exciting and requiring my skills in getting and staying close to the target.

Arguing, the same shrill voice and another not so. Then the rasping harsh coughing voice until giggling,

After the usual twisting and turning in the light, I was finally prepared. Up I went, not as far as the large pink and the shorter limbs were smooth and unblemished. There was a lot of careful manipulation before I could settle, not exactly settle, this was the start of a risky, dangerous but oh so pleasant escapade. I went all the way up catching sight of my ultimate goal in the Oh goody! lightly coppiced narrowing, then down slightly, the smooth limbs either side of me, frequently shifting and then up - yes that was final. I didn't have time to appreciate my surrounding, being budged and fiddled until just right. I had to make a choice at this stage.

Stay here amongst a fair brown, light downy scented undergrowth or precariously squeeze my way, only about an inch and a half, along very taut climbing ropes to the narrowest of bridges either side of a slightly, bulbous pink/red mound with uneven wrinkles coursing from a central minute crevasse. Deciding to stay put, knowing I could transfer when the motion stopped -- like I say, I'd been here many time before, I remained and savoured the beauty in my surrounds.

Much giggling, shop tills, more giggling, pop music and yes more giggling was the background apart from one near silent episode where a squeaky dominant voice intervened during an uncomfortable moment.

The downy feather like surface was the perfect cosseted place to drink in the beauty of this particular environment. Gentle fronds on a puffy, pink gentle pouch, soft, slender, smooth folds aside a dark slit pouted out, still flowered with the same growth, almost like a perfumed garden. No odour, no sudden bright light, no wall gadgets and no watery waves of sound -- until....... Suddenly I was struggling to keep my place for a few moments, the limbs each side slapping together, until thankfully, I was motionless and then horror of horrors a grubby, blunt nailed digit knocked me aside. I struggled to keep in place while the uncouth imposter digit roughly probed the inner sanctum, inducing a creamy sliver of dampness, some of which remained on the withdrawing digit. At last it disappeared, leaving a deposit of the light damp creamy substance on the slit edges.

I was able to re-establish my position as the motion started again. Nothing further proved difficult and I basked in relative piece until all motion ceased. The smooth slender limbs came close together at an angle of about 90 degree. This provided me with an opportunity to slide back and savour the bulbous mound, slightly flattened now and without any tortuous climbing on my behalf to relish the different terrain. Not as big as the peachy environment I'd been in, it was easy circular cove with a little more moisture.

It wasn't long before we were on the move again and I was thrust into the static zone to no doubt be subjected to a healthy rejuvenation and exercise, leaving me with joyful expectancy of which of three modes I would next accompany.