It's a bit of a librarian look, the way I wear my hair at work. All coiled up on my head, and stuck through with several of those Japanese-looking hair spikes. Not a strand is out of place, and the hair is wound and wrapped tightly into a bun roughly the size of one of those Kaiser rolls the bun it makes is easily the size of one of those Kaiser rolls. It's about the color of fresh bread, too: either a very light brown (which is how I like to think of it), or the dirtiest blonde you've ever seen.
You're about to find out just how dirty.
Lie down on the bed, and take off your clothes. Make sure you get a good view of me.
I look you straight in the eyes. Slowly, deliberately, I twist each hair pin and draw it out of the tightly wound hair. The last one, I ease in and out, as though it were a narrow, pointy dildo penetrating the mass of hair still coiled on top of my head. Finally, I pull it all the way out, and notice that you've got a raging hard-on. Poor lad, you've seen nothing yet.
Now, I haven't cut my hair in more than seven years. I do trim the ends, and I keep the tip in a blunt cut, but for the most part the hair stays healthy because I air-dry it. No blow dryer or curling iron ever violates the pin-straight sanctity of my tresses. In fact, I air-dry my whole body after showering. There's nothing like strutting around my home naked for half an hour to dry and cool off. Yes, you're permitted to imagine me naked, because I'm in fairly good shape and it will probably be worth the effort. At the moment I'm wearing... what the hell does it matter what I'm wearing? You're not looking at anything but my scalp right now.
My hair takes about four hours to dry completely. But I washed and dried it last night. This means it's clean, smooth, and the texture of silk. Leaning my head to one side, so that you can see the lines of my neck, I langorously tip the bun over, so that it uncoils in a series of jerking motions like a tumbling rope. It reaches all the way down to my knees. As it falls, the coil loosens, but it's not quite loose enough for my purposes.
The brush I use is a Mason Pearson "Popular" model. It has two kinds of bristles: nylon and boar's bristle. The nylon is to comb out any tangles, and the boar's bristle is to make my hair soft and shiny. I pick up my brush and, holding my hair in my fist about a foot from the end, I make short, slow strokes along the last ten or twelve inches, from my hand all the way to the end.
Watch how the bristles spread my the individual strands apart, piercing through them like tiny spears through a mystic veil, revealing the subtle blonde highlights and the brunet lowlights. Over and over I brush this section, until it is soft and completely smooth. Then I shift my gripping hand about a foot higher on the hair, and brush through two feet of hair. Every time, the brush goes all the way to the end.
I have a way of dealing with tangles: I tease them out with my fingers. A lot of the time, all I have to do is gently spread the strands of hair apart, and they will unravel by themselves. My hair has a small amount of natural wave to it, noticeable only when it's humid, but the individual strands are extremely fine. They straighten under their own weight, and cannot support themselves. This is why it makes no sense for a woman like me to perm or curl her hair: the curl pulls out except for along the bottom four inches, where there's no weight.
Now I grasp my hair above the nape of my neck, and turn my back to you for the long strokes, and to brush my scalp. These are long strokes that are impossible to continue through the entire length of my hair, so I do a couple scalp strokes, then shift my grip and continue brushing toward the ends. This repeats a few time. Behind me, I hear the slow, rhythmic stroking sound. Are you playing with yourself? Go for it. I am not jealous of your hand: look at what MY hands get to touch.
Is there a hint of gray around my temples? Yes. Yes, there is. Rapunzel was a literary fiction. But I'm real, I'm alive, and I'm right here letting you look at me.