J.D. Weatherspoons Pubs Possess Certain Charms
An excitable and sexy law clerk with a growing sex addition decides on a spontaneous lunchtime liaison.
My father and I had hopped on the bus to the seaside town of Scarborough, one bleak Autumn day to do some shopping before taking off to southern Spain for some R&R. The old man took the opportunity to get his laptop serviced so while that was taking place, I debouched to
The Lord Roseberry
, a Wetherspoons pub on the main street. Those familiar with this chain of pubs are fully cognizant that it tends to cater for
every
type of drinker from the piss-soaked tramp at 7.30am, to the modest lunchtime diner attracted by the affordable assembly line food, to the after work crowd, and to late nighters who enjoy a pint and a fight.
I was the cheap diner, there to while away an hour or so waiting for my father's PC to be taken off life support for the umpteenth time, he being a reluctant technophile and all that. The rain was belting down in blustery squalls rolling in from the North Sea, so shelter needed and quickly.
The Lord Roseberry
itself is a large two-storey late Victorian-era pile situated on a corner block, and on this day had a lively custom. A casual glance around the ground floor revealed a host of usual suspects, including a hobo telling customers how they should be queuing at the bar. There wasn't a lot of seating available, and I didn't check the upstairs before grabbing a pint of fizzy piss water that passed for beer. I espied a couple of bar stools by the window that at least afforded me a glimpse of the world that locals refer to "Scarbados", one wonders why.
With a piece of dubious real estate secured, I sat down and opened my book. The time was a little after 12.30pm. The book I was reading had me engrossed to the extent that the world around me was non-existence. However, my literary reverie was suddenly shattered when a smart looking woman bagged the stool next to me. She placed a wet mini umbrella on the bar, a drink of some sort, and a handbag.
"You don't mind if I take this seat, do you?"
"No, not at all," I replied. I checked my iPhone, and it was 1.05pm. This young lady must be on her lunch break. I resumed my literary exploration of worlds long dead.
"This weather is awful!" The young lady piped up, interrupting me again.
"Time of the year, I suppose," I answered politely but without looking up. I noticed from the corner of my eye that she had long, dark hear, quite black but with a faint hint of Shiraz streaks.
"I think its worse this year." The young woman continued.
I wouldn't know because I lived in Australia and was only in the UK to visit my parents, so my response a non-committal, "Perhaps."
"What are you reading?" Asked this persistent young woman.
With my sense of annoyance rising, I closed the book and handed it to her. It was at this juncture that I was able to get a good look at her. I would say that she had either southern Indian or northern Sri-Lankan heritage, but she was most certainly born in Britain given her heavy Yorkshire accent. She had a delicate aquiline nose, dark hazel-coloured eyes, and sensuous rouged lips. She was of slender build with probably A- or B-cup breasts depending upon the level of padding underneath her dress. She wore a tight filling, almost military style black tunic, with a white blouse, a long black skirt and black shoes. Aside from the white shirt, the only other colour visible in this dark dress ensemble were several gold bracelets worn on each wrist.
Her interest in my reading material could best be described as passing. She made a couple of incorrect remarks about the history, but rather than pointing out this ignorance I humoured her instead. She handed the book back with a couple of flippant comments about not having the time to read outside of work.
We made our introductions, and her name was Tracey. Really? She was of Sri-Lankan heritage as I surmised. Her parents had moved to Britain in the 1960s, and she was the youngest of three siblings at 31 years old. Her current occupation was a legal clerk working for a firm of solicitors down the road. Judging by the lack of rings on her fingers, Tracey wasn't married. Her boss and the other partners were attending a conference in Leeds, so she was taking advantage of their absence to slack off. Hence the vodka, lime and soda in her hand. Nice work if you can get it!
It was clear from her impulsive nature that I wasn't going back to my book any time soon. Therefore, I decided to engage with Tracey and see where our encournter might lead. In the back of my head was my father's pending arrival that could spoil this random meeting. As my pint was nearing empty, I arose from the stool intending to head to the bar where the hobo was perched, annoying everyone. Tracey took a massive gulp from her glass before asking me whether I minded getting her a refill. No, I was happy to do so.
Tracey grabbed her handbag and reached for her purse to grab some cash. I glanced at the open handbag and saw what I thought was a cream coloured vibrator. I thought I also saw a small bottle of personal lube. Of course, these could have been a tampon applicator and a bottle of hand sanitiser. I was brought back to reality by the snapping of the purse. Tracy stuffed it back into her handbag before turning to me, handing me the cash and flashing her pearly whites in a generous smile.
As I queued at the bar awaiting my turn. I replayed what I saw in my mind. The cream-coloured thing was cylindrical with longitudinal groves. While I couldn't see the tip, the base certainly looked like battery slot and the on-off/speed disc. This thing seemed too big to be a tampon applicator, but what did I know? If it was a vibrator as suspected, then the bottle had to be lube. If what I saw was correct, then I was sat next to a potential sexual bombshell. Now, I was very eager to get back to my stool!
"How long are you taking off this arvo?" I asked as I resumed my place, placed the drinks on their coasters, and handed Tracey her change.
"Probably an hour, maybe two," She responded. "Depends on my mood."
She asked me about my plans, and I explained that I was waiting for my father. I sent him a text while I was at the bar, and he responded that he would be some time yet. How long he would be detained was indeterminate.
"So, what's your mood now?" I asked expectantly.
"I'm feeling pretty good after one of these." Replied Tracey with a twinkle in her eye and holding up her drink.
"Cheers!" we clinked glasses, and each took a swig.
"Do you have a woman in your life?"
"I did," I replied. "We broke up a few weeks ago."
"How come?"
"Michelle, my ex, and I were in a long distant relationship," I began, "We would see each other twice a year, and it seemed to work. This year, however, I've made two addition trips to the UK for work and, well, we just seemed to irritate one and other."
"Mutual breakup then?"
"I think so. Maybe, a little bit more on my side."
"Why?"
"Michelle was having money difficulties and didn't want to go out as much with me this time around. So, we called it a day."
"Was it just the 'not going out'?" Asked Tracey, raising an expectant eyebrow.
"Well,
that
was also a factor, from my perspective." I answered, "Her appetite never really matched mine, and I think her money worries left her a bit disinterested."
"When you
were