Mark is my beloved husband. He is a white, chubby, average-height man with a burly gray beard and blue eyes. Compared to other men, he's a massive teddy bear, and I love cuddling with his warm body. We are in our early fifties, and both retired. We've been married for 13 years. Nowadays, we just lounge around and try to find things to keep us preoccupied. We live in a somewhat lovely house with a community pool approximately one hour away.
With it being his 54th birthday, I could not be more excited. It's our tradition to pull pranks on each other every year because we've always been impractical jokesters. Everything changed when Mark took it to the next level. Last year, Mark hosed me with a water gun while I wore a white, see-through blouse. What made matters worse was Mark threw me a birthday party with my family and girlfriends. It was mortifying because you could see my small breasts' clear outline and flame-induced face. After that day, I vowed to get Mark back in the most brutal way possible.
The thing about Mark is he really has no shame. He's always walking around naked with his giant gut, swinging without a care in the world. He's practically a nudist but never mentioned or wanted to attend a nude-based event or activity. But he has never been naked outside the house. He sometimes ventures forth naked in the backyard when he knows our neighbors aren't home. He might be embarrassed by having an extremely tiny penis, which I can use against him.
I have been concocting several ultimate pranks throughout the year to show Mark the raw terror for messing with me. I've teasingly threatened him, but he never took me seriously. But today was the day to show Mark he should never mess with me again because I am the prankster queen.
I rarely mention his puny pee-pee because it was never a problem, but it may be an issue for Mark. Sometimes, I fight back when he teases me about my small boobies by mentioning his shrinking deficiency. Frequently, after my remarks, he will first cover his tiny cock but shrug it off and laugh. But I know he is embarrassed because his face will turn a light tinge of red.
I've never really asked him if having a little guy bothered him. This is something we both came to terms with; years ago, he had an average-sized penis, but growing old hasn't caught up to him yet, except for his flattened groin. You see the little noggin of his shaftless ding-a-ling waddle side to side when he walks. It's a true tragedy for any man to lose sight of his manhood, witness his penis's size melt, and succumb to a dick-do.
The majority of his baby dick is gone, and he is probably two inches hard. His little soft willy is less than an inch. He's what you used to call a "grower," but now it barely gets any bigger. Sometimes, after he showers, it is so tiny; I giggle to myself. How could anyone have a penis so small? Even if he isn't bothered by having small penis syndrome, being nude in a public setting should do the trick. I do love him, but this is war.
Mark knows pretty much everyone in my life--my friends and family. But, months ago, in December, I joined a book club to meet other women and have intellectual conversations. Sometimes, I wouldn't do anything besides watch television. I needed something else to fuel my mind because I didn't want to become a slump. Mark has many hobbies that preoccupy him pretty much all the time. Since he's never met them, I had the upper hand. My book club gals would be the key to assemblage.
He always has a few cold ones on the morning of every birthday celebration. He usually didn't drink unless he wanted to appease his pent-up frustration. I switched the light beers with stronger ones, so he would let loose more. We decided to go to the community pool because that is also something he liked doing. It isn't the most luxurious pool, so no one would generally be there. That won't be happening today, mister. I can't wait to see his face after we abandon him.
Mark and I had a fabulous walk where I carried the towels, and Mark modeled in only trunks and sandals. We arrived at the pool, and I was heartened to see my book gals sitting in the pool chairs. There were four of them. Mark seemed a little disappointed because he wanted us to be alone. He tried to leave, but I reprimanded him. I smacked him on his big, toasty buns and told him we weren't going, which made him pout like a spoiled brat. He took off his sandals and was barefoot. He pretended to act superbly confident and strolled the women with his beer belly hanging. It was too bad his little tee-tee didn't.
He jumped in the pool, swam for around 20 minutes, and then walked toward me. His big belly was adorable. Since he was more loose than usual, he was more flirtatious, which I wasn't expecting. He began toying with the other women, acting like he was some stud they desired. I was genuinely becoming more annoyed as he carried on joyful conversations with these ladies, who were only playing along. He conversed with them for over 45 minutes. I had a whole plan, but this hastened the process.
He asked the ladies, "You like what you see?"
I sneakily snuck behind him and shouted, "They won't now!"
With a quick yank, I brought his trunks to his ankles, leaving him completely naked in front of these attractive women. They had a clear and detailed view of how tiny and nanoscopic his dick was. They were merely inches away from his baby schlong. In conjunction with the cold water, mild weather, and beer, his dick was entirely gone. They all held their hands to their faces. They started giggling uncontrollably at his pathetic half-pint justification for a penis.
"Oh yeah, buddy, we definitely like what we see, which is nothing."
"I've never seen a penis so damn tiny before in my life. I'm probably bigger than him."
His face was beet red. He gasped and covered his little guy away from the lively, laughing ladies. He couldn't believe I stripped him and was now buck-naked. No amount of coverage would resurrect the girls after they saw the tiniest penis they had ever seen on an adult man. He may have covered it, but the damage had already been done. He looked like he was about to cry; this really shattered him. I didn't know they would be this mean to him, which only put a nefarious smile on my face. This will teach him.
"Cover it all you want. We already saw how minuscule it is."
He was innately speechless and frozen. He couldn't move or say anything. I pushed him into the pool and grabbed his trunks from the water, leaving him stark naked like the day he was born. While this was dreadful for little Markie pooh, that wasn't even close to the final showdown. I grabbed everything we had brought and ran off with one of the girls. She parked close to the pool, so we drove off.
I told the other women to record what I would miss. He came up and saw I was gone with everything. There was now a camera pointed at him.
"Honey, why are you naked in the pool? You better leave before the cops arrive."
"Where's Ingrid?"
"Oh, she's long gone. Did you really think she wouldn't sink to your level after you exposed her breasts on her birthday?
"I didn't think she would take it this far. I could get arrested. Do you have a towel or something?"
"Haha, nope. Get out of the pool, and we will help you. Show us that tiny penis you trying so desperately to hide."
"Okay, as long as you promise not to laugh."
"No, of course not."
Mark lifted his big, wet body out of the pool, exposing his penis again. They immediately laughed.
"You promised you wouldn't laugh."
"Yeah, we lied. Bud, it's in our nature to laugh at something so funny. Aww, look at that. He shaves his little pee-pee. Why do you shave it?"
Mark shrugged, "So, Ingrid could actually see it."
"Haha. Poor baby."
"Alright, enough about my cock. You said you would help me."
"Little Markie, you can't call that a cock. Try little pee-pee."
"Ugh, enough about my shaved, little pee-pee, then."
"Good little dinky winky boy. We don't have anything, so I guess you'll have to run home naked."
"Is there really nothing you have I can cover myself with?"
"Hmm. I mean, you don't need anything that big to cover your microcock. Maybe my bikini bottom will be able to cover your package."
"No way. I can't wear that."
"Just try it on, you little-dicked baby."
She slid her bikini bottom on, showing Mark a little, juicy surprise. His tiny peen grew a whole two inches upon seeing her pussy.
She noticed and looked disgusted, "Oh my goodness, Mark. Are you actually getting turned on right now? A small dick is one thing, but there is nothing more ridiculous than an erect dicklette. What do you even do with all that?"
He ignored her, turned around, and put the bikini bottom on.
"Wow, check out that round, bodacious, steamy buns."
She spanked Mark's flabby buttocks. After enduring the pain to his bare, wet rear end, he finally got it on. It looked incredibly tight and uncomfortable, but it covered his little parts. Nothing was going on underneath the crotch area.
