CHAPTER 1
The history teacher was telling us about the tragic Peterloo Massacre, and one of the other boys said "Peter's a loo! He's a toilet!" The teacher told the class off, but the damage was done.
(Loo is a common word for toilet in Britain -- based on the French l'eau.)
For nearly 17 years I had been Peter Lewis, and nobody thought anything of it. I had been bullied, but nothing to do with my name. But for the last year I was "Peter Loo" or "Peter the toilet" for the bullies and some of their hangers-on.
I got an A in history, and went to university to study it.
Unfortunately, one of the bullies went there as well (to study Politics, I think) and during Freshers' week, called out "Hello! It's Peter the toilet!" and said something to a group of girls, so they laughed at me.
It was a few weeks later, one of the girls in my class was talking to a friend, and pointed me out. The friend, a very attractive brunette, well above my pay grade, came over and spoke hesitantly.
"Is it true?" she said. "You like girls to pee on you?"
I couldn't speak for a moment, but felt my face burning.
"No, it isn't," I finally managed to say.
"Sorry, forget I asked," and she walked away from me, her nice bum swaying gently as she went out of my life.
I cursed my luck. All the girls would know me as a pervert. Why had she raised my hopes only to make fun of me?
I could hardly even speak to the girls in my class, let alone try to get off with them. I was destined to be the pariah, the celibate outcast. I went to one meeting of the science fiction society, which was, of course, mainly lads, so I wasn't going to have any luck there. I went to dances in the Student Union and drank but didn't manage to even get a dance, let alone cop a feel.
But then I got to thinking. How had she looked, when I said no? Was she disappointed that she couldn't go back to her friends to laugh at me? Or was she actually disappointed? Did she want to pee on me?
Not likely.
But if she did, how hard would it be? Would I let a girl piss on me if I could fuck her afterwards? You bet I would!
No, just a fantasy to wank to.
When I occasionally saw her around, she seemed to hurry off. Embarrassed, I suppose.
Then in the library, I got my chance. We both turned up at a photocopier.
"After you," I said, so she started.
"I'm sorry," we both started to say, and it broke the ice a bit.
I quietly told her about being called Peter the Loo and why. She gave a wry smile.
"I had a nasty nickname, too. They called me Penny Pissypants, because I had a bladder problem."
"Would you like to go out with me some time?" I asked.
She looked at me and smiled.
"Penny Pissypants and Peter the Loo? A match made in heaven!"
"What are you doing for lunch?" she added.
It was just a lunch in the Student Union, and we both had a free period so wandered around afterwards.
She was nice.
I was clumsy, awkward, and generally a prat. But somehow we agreed to meet again.
And next time in the evening, we kissed a bit. It progressed to tongues and a bit of a grope through clothes. Not exactly the hot sex on the first date you might imagine and I suppose every boy was hoping for. Just getting to know someone.
After several more dates, I got to know a very nice girl. I also felt her tits but not in her knickers.
No sex yet, apart from what I did before and after the date by myself.
I didn't know how to say it. Do people just say "How about a fuck?"
With a huge effort I had managed to buy some condoms.
We were in her student apartment, sitting on the bed, when it came out. (Not that. You know what I mean.)
"It's never happened to me," I said, "but if you really did want to pee on someone, you could pee on me."
"No obligation!" I added hastily, quickly followed by "I'm not saying you do, of course, I mean sorry, forget it, I'd better go!"
My cock was hard and my face was crimson as I got up, trying to hide the erection.
She was blushing as well.
"What? No, don't go, sit down."
She took my hand and looked down, saw my stiffness, so looked away.
She was the first to speak.
"I think it's lovely of you to offer, anyway. But I think it's time we had sex. Have you done it before?"
I was about to say "yes, lots of times" but realised I was talking to a girl.
"No."
"Me neither," she said in an embarrassed way.
"But I've got some condoms. They were given out to all the first-year girls, and Mum gave me some as well."
Then "Shall we, then?" "if you like" "only if you want to" "if you want to" "I want to, do you?" "Yes, I want to" "OK".
"I suppose we'd better get undressed," she said. "Do you want to use the toilet?"
It's hard to pee when your cock is rock hard but I wrestled it down far enough to pee, and it started to go limp. I farted, and did not like the result, but remembered to wash my hands.
When I got out she was in a dressing gown, her clothes were neatly on a chair and the covers had been pulled back on her single bed.
She went into the smelly toilet, and I undressed as far as my underpants. I put my clothes on her study bench because I didn't know what to do.