I first heard about PeePillow TM from one of my internet friends. No one in real life knew my proclivities: only the select individuals online, many of us separated by countries and continents, who were active in the community knew my secret.
There was yellowdog, who posted amazing videos of himself covertly pissing in crowded, public areas. Sometimes he even managed to splash other people without getting caught. The dude was an expert carpet-soaker.
Or sheildla, who liked to cosplay powerful women and piss standing up. Her boyfriend was a professional photographer, so we were treated to high-def, glossy, bold, and beautiful shots of Wonder Woman, or Buffy, or Xena standing tall and pissing on the ground in front of her. (And sometimes, pissing on men. If she was Wonder Woman, there was an extra element of bondage, of course.)
There was pissbitches, who submitted quality erotica to the site; no-water-no-wee, the funny guy of the group, who was always in the chat room (he and I had never met in real life, but privately sent each other dirty messages when we were in a mood), always updating us about how much fluid he'd consumed that day, how desperate he felt, how much longer he was going to hold it; naturecalling, the husky lumberjack of the group who blogged about his nature hikes (and pisses) in the woods; and me, who liked to lurk but didn't often post my own stuff. I didn't have a niche yet. And I was still growing into my piss fetish, having only recently accepted the fact that it turned me on in a big way. So I wasn't ready to start broadcasting β I just watched their videos, looked at their pictures, read their porn blogs, and chatted with them online. The six of us, with a few others who were less active, made the core of the piss community.
So one afternoon, arriving back in my dorm room after class, I lay in bed and chugged a glass of water while I waited for my laptop to boot up. It was too early for my dorm-mates to return: now that we were juniors, I shared a quad with three of my girlfriends, and each of us had a private single off the common room/kitchen suite. With a private room, and no chance of anyone being home to overhear anything, it was the perfect time to masturbate.
Because I liked my bladder to feel pleasantly full, I kept drinking water as I opened new tabs in an incognito window: all my favorite piss porn sites, blogs, erotica, and, of course, our chat room.
The only one currently online was no-water-no-wee, and even he was idle. So I pinged him and read through the latest chat logs to see what I missed while I waited for his response. Near the bottom, posted by a username I didn't recognize, was a link, with a description: "you guys
gotta
check this out. I got one for myself because I hate getting out of bed in the morning to go piss, but my girlfriend loved it so much that she stole it for herself and made me buy another."
Curious, I clicked. The link brought me to the sales page for a product called PeePillow TM, with a tagline that promised, "Go where you want, when you want!"
The picture was of a long body-pillow that looked indulgently foamy, something you could really sink into and cuddle with. A description next to the photograph read:
Do you have trouble leaving your warm bed in the morning to sit on a cold toilet seat?
Do you ever wish you could relieve yourself at your own convenience?
Do medical complications make toilets inconvenient for frequent use?
Now introducing: PeePillow TM!
PeePillow TM is crafted with cutting-edge technologies which absorb and process urine into a fine, toxic-free, completely odor-less powder. PeePillow TM is capable of absorbing five gallons of liquid at a time, or nearly 20 liters, which is more piss than the average person produces in 10 days. It dries quickly and leaves no lingering odor, so you can get back to your REAL business.
To clean, simply pop open the small powder trap which is tucked inconspicuously into the side of the PeePillow TM and empty the contents into the nearest waste receptacle. The PeePillow TM is machine washable and only needs to be laundered once every two weeks to keep it feeling fresh. Please hang dry.
All PeePillow TM purchases include a 6-month warranty, and you are welcome to a product replacement or a full refund within that period if you are not satisfied with your purchase. We guarantee that this product will become a fun, convenient, and indispensable part of your household.
We also offer discounts for all PeePillow TM purchases in quantities greater than six. Click here to check out our family plan!
Ordinarily, I would have shrugged this off. It was a fake product, no doubt, except it had come with the endorsement from the guy in the chat room...of course, he could just be phishing. Maybe a bot. I hadn't recognized the username. But the idea intrigued me, despite the fact that it seemed totally outside the realm of possibility...a pillow that converted urine to powder? Something capable of mitigating odor and dampness? But offered the freedom and luxury of pissing all over it, wherever you were: in bed, sitting, playing computer games, reading a book, so long as you were naked from the waist down and had the PeePillow next to you? It seemed too good to be true.
And then I scrolled down and noticed the reviews. There were hundreds β and most of them had given 4 and 5 stars.
Couldn't believe this actually worked!
wrote one person.
I expected it to be really gross, stink, leave a mess...but I've had it for a month now, use it every day, and it still smells fine even though I haven't washed it once. Awesome!!
Someone else said,
This is my favorite thing. Let me know when you invent one for crap too, and I'll buy it.
And another said,
No joke, this thing works. It's so comfortable, I snuggle with it all night, and then in the morning, I wake up...ahhh. Just let loose with this between my legs. I like it so much, I use it all the time, even when I don't have to. Washed it twice now, it's been holding up fine β and I wash it only because they recommend to, not because it needs it. I spritz a little perfume on her just to make things extra nice!!
Still another commented,
Five stars!!! I love pissing all over this, all the time. And guests don't notice anything strange about it! I get compliments, actually!
And another:
sometimes I jack off into it and that works fine too
One reviewer had a lot more to say:
Hey there, I want to encourage you, yes you, to buy this pillow immediately because it will change your life. Pissing is always a bit of a taboo act, isn't it? You have to do it away from other people. You have to do it in a special room. You have to clean yourself afterward. But what if I could tell you that you can liberate yourself from these restrictions and feel a newfound sense of freedom?
How many of you have felt the thrill of pissing in your bedroom, or relieving yourself in your dining room, or urinating in your living room?
Here's what a day in the life looks for me, now.
I wake up. I sleep naked, because I like to feel the sheets against my skin, and the warmth of my husband behind me. I wake up in his arms. Because now I have the PeePillow, I don't have to move out of his embrace when my bladder calls me to the bathroom. Instead I put the pillow securely between my thighs and let loose over it. The fabric soaks it up immediately, leaving me feeling dry and clean and warm.