I had never enjoyed so called family entertainment TV shows. I found them trite, noisy and full of slapstick superficial humour. This of course earned me lots of ribbing and joking from my wife Pam. Although not a devotee herself, she would none the less curl up on he settee of a Saturday evening and generally laugh along with the events on the screen.
This is how we came to be sitting in the TV studio, participating in the audience as one of these shows was broadcast live. Pam had, unknown to me written off for tickets. On the evening in question she had told me that we were going out for a meal, which indeed we did.
As we left the restaurant she produced the tickets, and with a wicked smile stated her true intentions. She knew that I wouldn't really be angry. I would swallow my pride and go along for the hell of it. And hell it was. What seemed to cause everyone to fall about laughing left me wondering what was the joke . Never mind, Pam was enjoying herself and I loved her dearly. It gave me pleasure to be there. We had married some five years earlier.
Both in our forties and divorced we had found a nice and secure friendship. Pam was petite and easily fitted a size ten. She had gorgeous slim legs which seemed very long no doubt accentuated by her trim figure. Her dainty feet were encased as always in high heels. On this occasion she wore a cream silk blouse, with a dark brown skirt that ended just above the knee. A dark 'box cut' jacket completed the outfit. Her legs looked stunning in her dark sheer hold ups, and her shoes were of a classic forties style, heeled but with a lace up front.
The application of soft makeup, eye pencil and her favourite 'mocha' lipstick added to her femininity. In moments of boredom during the show, and believe me there were many, I would glance sideways enjoying the almost schoolgirl profile of Pam's pretty face. She would be engrossed in some of the antics on the stage. She looked stunning, and I reached for her hand gently caressing her long slender fingers, playing with the edge of her beautifully manicured dark painted nails.
The show included a number of audience participation sections. As always these were cringe worthy and involved ego centric members of the audience achieving five minutes of glory, usually resulting in their total humiliation by the slick host. In the earlier part of the show there had been a competition for male contestants.
The 'chosen' man was to perform a task, in this case building a wall from polystyrene bricks whilst being showered with foam and water from blindfolded female volunteers. For this he 'won a prize of £100. I wasn't sure how, but it had the audience in shrieking, screaming hysterics.
During the break we retired to the bar where Pam indulged in her favourite strong drink, followed by a Gin. On returning to our seats she giggled and complained that her legs were wobbly. This was not unusual. She never became blindingly drunk, but a drink seemed to go straight to her legs. The second half of the show got under way. The compere announced that it was now time for the women's competition. This was to be a surprise endurance test with the competitor winning another £100. The lights dimmed as the compere announced that the first female to be in the seat number he announced would be invited to compete. With his best Oscar award voice he announced ' and the number is ; seat 145'
A spotlight flashed forward and back across the assemble audience before coming to rest on Pam. Being normally shy, she immediately grabbed my arm and blushed profusely, but already two assistants were trotting up the aisle to help her from her seat, encouraged by the compere and the cheering and whistling of the crowd. I watched as my beautiful Pam was led up onto the stage.
There were the usual preliminary questions as she was introduced' before the compere said 'will you accept the mystery challenge?' She really didn't have a choice of course, the pressure was intense.
She nodded and forced a 'yes' from her dry lips.