1.
I was a beautiful thing -- the image in the mirror was stunning. The red lipstick, the green eyes, the soft skin, the eyeliner -- everything looked gorgeous. But the curls were the top thing -- shiny, long and endless on my shoulders and back. I played with them, rearranged and smelled their perfect scent. When I realized I had to go, I put a chunk of them on my left side of the face, knowing I have to hide my true self tonight.
My name was Adrian. It still is, actually. But after the incident I began hating myself so much, that I had to leave my true identity, even for one night a week. Well, later it had to be two nights a week, then a whole day or even two until I was trying to escape reality into cross-dressing games most of my free time.
It was odd, to be honest. I had never liked that kind of kink. I once was a youth taekwondo champion; I still trained and liked to compete until... Well, until my life went upside down at the age of thirty five.
The fight still haunted me in my bed at night. I never knew that my opponent had heart condition. I had to guess that something was wrong, because he kept hiding his chest. But I mixed things up and he opened up his center. Then I attacked.
I will never forget his face when his heart stopped in the middle of the ring.
From that moment on I knew I had no right to live. At some point I was angry at the world for denying my well-deserved punishment. Everyone told me I'm innocent. But I didn't feel this way. So that's how I ended up at Elena's beauty salon. She was an old friend from high-school, always the alternative type, with piercings and tattoos and all, and was probably the most honest person I've met back then. Elena was a lesbian who knew how to keep secrets, because she had to keep her own for so long. So she understood me. She didn't judge, she just did her job.
Elena turned me into Anita. I mean, she taught me make-up, dressing styles, even how to talk like a girl. She said I had the talent for it, whatever this meant. And here I was, in front of the mirror, dressed in my favorite chunky blue off-shoulder sweater and leather skirt, with high boots and black pantyhose. I had shaved perfectly, my curly hair had its extensions, which were invisible to the eye, my chin was up and my bra was stuffed with socks so that I could show the world the image I wanted to. I finished the outfit with a heavy long black scarf to hide the bulge under my chin -- the last thing that unraveled my true self.
I was nervous like hell. It was one thing to play dress-up games on Sunday at home, and completely another to go out with friends on Friday night.
Elena was trying to make me go out with her and her girlfriend Stella for a while now. She was proud of her work, meaning me, and wanted to see how the public would react to my transformation. I wasn't ready, though. But at some point my hatred towards myself grew so much that I couldn't stand being Adrian anymore.
My phone rang -- it was Elena, calling me from the cab downstairs. So this was it -- I was finally showing Anita to the outside world. I took a breath and stepped out of my apartment.
The night was colder than I thought. I hugged myself and almost forgot the hanging bag from my side. While trying to hold it tighter, my left shoulder popped out of my blue sweater and the wind went roughly through my skin. I placed some of my gorgeous hair on it to warm myself but the effect was barely visible. Being a wool-fetishist and going out in public in a sweater and a scarf was an excitement on its own. So, before I stepped in the cab, I felt my boner grow. Thankfully, it was nicely tucked inside my black panties so that it won't make an embarrassing scene. So, in a way, I was warming on my own.
The door opened and Elena rushed me:
-- C'mon, we're late! We have a table and they won't wait for us till midnight!
I hurried up, making my sweater to reveal more of my bra. I lifted it up, worried that the driver would see my skin.
It was going to be a hard night.
When I entered the cab, I noticed that Elena and Stella had brought another friend who I didn't know.
-- Hi, I'm Tina! -- A hand was given to me from the front seat. I looked up and saw a blonde girl in her late twenties. Suddenly I felt so embarrassed that I didn't know how to act.
-- Anita's a bit shy! -- Elena giggled. Then she turned to me: -- Calm down, we all know who you are.
-- Really? -- I looked terrified at Tina.
-- Don't worry! We all have our secrets. I respect yours -- Tina said without actually sharing what her secret was.
-- Tina's ok -- Stella added. She was looking stunning with her short dark hair and Italian charm. Her mother was from Palermo and she took the best of the Sicily gene.
-- How are you, Anita? -- asked me Elena with emphasis on the name. I blushed trying to realize the fact I was going to be a girl tonight.
-- I'm on the edge of coming back -- I admitted.
-- No! You're going to miss the party! -- Elena laughed and her orange dreadlocks bounced around. I always liked her hair, because it looked to me like pieces of torn sweater, which, in a way, was quite attractive for guys like me.
-- Don't worry! You look fine -- added Stella.
I noticed the driver staring at me. He must've overheard us talking and wondered what I was. I let some hair fall on my face to hide from him.
In ten minutes, we arrived. The bar's entrance didn't seem crowded, which calmed me a bit. But when I stepped out in the night and felt people's eyes on me, I nearly fainted. I tried to hide behind Elena while we were closing to the entrance.