I found myself in my hometown visiting with an old girlfriend, Chris, and Joan, a woman and mutual friend with whom I had a bit of a thing with while Chris was away in grad school. All years ago. We were having gin and tonics, and after a few minutes worth of rust got scraped away we were all comfortable. There was a fair amount of teasing mostly aimed at me. It appeared that my history with Joan was no longer being kept secret from Chris.
"I don't know anything about the past, and I deny everything," I said. "I could also use another drink."
"Oh, that's what you could use?" said Chris.
"What I could use is a maid," said Joan, changing the subject. "Every year, that's what I ask for. Eventually I may have to break down and settle for a husband. If I had a maid our drinks would be walking out the door as I speak."
"He'll be your maid," said Chris. "He'll bring the drinks."
"Yeah, I'll get the drinks. No problem." I rose to go to the kitchen.
"Whoa, there. Hold your horses," said Chris. (I grew up in the west.) "There's more to being a maid than fetching drinks. The outfit, for starters."