It was a warm October afternoon where I lived in England. I left my house in the quaint little village where I lived and started to walk to the bus stop. It felt particularly odd today as I had no pram to push along and my hands felt bare because of this.
I gave birth to Amelia three months ago. My ex-boyfriend (Amelia's father) had decided that we should part although it was an amicable parting. We both fell out of love with each before my pregnancy, but strived to keep the relationship going in a vain attempt to capture the good times again. Due to this we both still made love in an attempt to bond, and this is where I fell pregnant.
I don't blame him for wanting to go... we were not happy but we were both mature enough to realise that our child came first and remained friends in spite of it all. It made good sense – we were responsible parents.
I was without child today as my ex was looking after her (as he did every two weeks for two days at a time). I had packed her bottles with my expressed milk and all her essentials for her stay with her father, and she left earlier this morning. I missed her of course but I valued my own time where I could catch up with chores and sleep. Fortunately I had great support with my family and sister so I considered myself lucky. I didn't go out often in my spare time...I am an introvert at heart preferring to spend time at home and liking my own space.
I am 22 years old and a quiet yet contemplative person, and also really quite shy and it shows. I have never tried to appear bubbly as a front. I like people to see the real me, and accept me as I am. In looks I have dark blonde long hair that contrasts well with my pale skin. I'm no model but I have an innocent look about me that people have said makes me look fair and pretty.
I boarded the bus, and smiled as the regular bus driver asked me how I was before I sat down, nodding to the other people as I said a quiet but cheery hello, and then I was soon in town where I was planning to do some much needed shopping.
Entering the supermarket I filled up my small trolley with things on my list, when I felt that all too familiar feeling as I was reaching up for the baked beans. The side of my arm brushed against my bust and I had leaked a little milk. I looked down and it showed through my light pink blouse. I tried to pull my cardigan over to hide the wet patch and did my best to ignore it as I continued shopping.
Blushing faintly, I walked to the vegetable isle where I bumped into my father's friend Bill. Bill was the elder brother of my father's boss and also lived a few doors down from us for a few years until he moved away. He was a cheery 68 year old who had never married and seemed content to live his life alone. I had great respect for him for this.
"Hello Megan" he said, raising his hand in a polite hello. "Where is your little one today?"
"Oh hi Bill" I replied and smiled a little smile back. A tiny bit flustered from the earlier wet patch incident. "She's with David my ex for a couple of days. I am glad of the break and sleep, but I do miss her."
"Of course you would" he remarked "But you need your sleep and time alone".
As I nodded and agreed with him, my cardigan fell open, and two boys aged about twenty walked past, nudging each other while pointing and laughing at my obvious wet patches whilst loudly saying "tit milk."
I was mortified and terribly embarrassed and it showed. My head looked down at the floor and as I was still tired from lack of sleep the night before, my eyes welled up a little. Bill stroked my arm gently and told me not to pay any attention.
"Bill, I'm s-sorry" I stammered wishing I was out of the shop.
"Hey Megan" he said gently "please, it's natural – it happens to many a lady I am sure" coaxing me away from the isle and leading me to the checkout where we stood in silence as I paid for my goods.
As I packed the last of my things with his help, he asked me if I would like to go back to his place for a little lunch, in an attempted effort to cheer me up. I shook my head but he said "Meg – please, you're upset and I don't want you to feel like this. Come to mine and we can have some nice lunch and you will feel better. You can dry yourself and I'll lend you a shirt of mine to wear as I wash and tumble dry your blouse." I nodded, and said yes as he was being so kind.
We walked back with him carrying half my bags, and he unlocked his door and showed me into his kitchen while he went upstairs. I placed my frozen items in his freezer so that they would not defrost. He came down with his shirt and handed it to me, telling me where his bathroom was upstairs before I went to it to change.
I felt flushed as I looked in his mirror, changed out of my top garments, drying my nursing bra on his soft towel until it felt dry. I took out some nursing pads and doubled them up before placing them in my bra and changing into his white shirt.
I then came downstairs and spotted Bill chopping carrots. At nearly six foot he was a good height and relatively handsome for his years. He had grey hair, and was balding a touch. His age showed through his laughter lines, but he had kind eyes and a charisma about him that could only help everyone warm to him.
"He we go Bill" I said. "Are you sure it's ok to wash and tumble dry this?"
"Totally" he answered. "It won't take long, and you can relax and be taken care of for a change. It must seem a while since you have had a meal cooked for you." This was true. My sister and mum were no great chefs in the kitchen and when I visited they ordered takeaways or made sandwiches, so this was welcome and nice.
Lunch was simple, and we talked and chatted for an hour over eating. He asked me what my interests were when I had the time, and told me what his life was like in the sixties and early seventies. He had courted a lady for some time although marriage was not on the cards. She fell in love with this work colleague and they moved to the USA.
He told me about his work, and how he tried stand-up comedy which I thought was a brave thing to even contemplate doing, going by my personality. As he ran through his comedy material I found myself laughing, and relaxing into his company.
In this hour, I got to learn that he was a kind and gentle man, who helped others wherever he could by not wanting anything in return. Such a rare thing to find in people, and even more so in this day and age.
