A text-message at 4am spoiled my Saturday morning chance to sleep in.
"Hey, if I have to be awake, why not you too, Sleepyhead."
I don't know why CeCe has taken a liking to me; I'm old enough to be her father, maybe even her grandfather!
"WT*?", I replied. Maybe it's just that she likes my type of bantering. We're like always kidding around at the dogpark. Or maybe she just likes the fact that our two dogs are great play-friends there. I dunno. But it's fun, and it passes the time very quickly. I just hadn't planned on it invading my Saturday morning early. But I'd play along nonetheless; she's cute and anyone would be glad to have her 'in bed' so to speak, any day, any time of day.
"So, whatcha doin'? I'm bored. Slow here tonight."
"Well I WAS sleeping. You remember sleep? It's what most people do this time of day. Maybe even some of your patients. Or do you go into their rooms and wake them up too?"
"LOL. Oh yeah. now I remember. Ha. But I don't get off my shift and get any sleep for another 4 hours. Can you keep me company, Harold?"
"Why don't you go wake up one of your male patients and have them keep you company? Or better yet, text your HUBBY?"
"Nah, he's no fun. Besides, I can wake him up in the night anytime I want... if ya know what I mean. Wink. And patients here? I don't have any old studs here or I would. LOL."
"Old studs? You have a thing for old studs, do you? That figures, ya little tease!"
"Aw. Of course I do. You oldsters are fun to tease. And admit it, you love it when a young blond chick wakes you up in the night. Gives you something to dream about later, right?"
"Oh? Is that something you've learned there by waking up your male patients? I'm guessing they'd have a hard time getting back to sleep at all, much less per chance to dream!"
"LOLLLLL. Does that mean you'll have a HARD time getting back to sleep when I'm done with you? Or do you need me to reach into your nightstand and make you take one of your blue pills? I know you have them, don't you? All you oldsters are asking for a prescription. Admit it. Am I right, Harold? Say it out loud, and I'll let you reach in and get one. Else no, keep your hands out of that drawer. Understand me, Mister???"
"What blue pill?" (I played dunb.)
"Ok, so that's the way ya wanna play this, do you, Harold? Lying to your nurse? Ok then, like I said, keep your hands outta that drawer. Nurse CeCe is writing it in your chart right now. No pill for you, Mister! "
"WT**?"
"You've been bad, Mister Harold. So no pills, and no fun for you for my next 4 hours. Too bad, too, because I might have enjoyed hearing all about it after making you take one. But not now, Mister. You keep your hands above those sheets, too, where I can see 'em. No funny business, you hear me?"
"Dang, CeCe, what's got into you? I was just sleeping peacefully, and here you are waking me up and telling me what I can and can't do in my own home and my own bed?"
"Oh, so you think I can't? You think Nurse CeCe hasn't dealt with oldster studs like you before? Wanna try a test of mine, Mister?"
"Oldster Stud, you say? Haha. You wish. So, sure, what kind of test do you have for an Older Stud?"
"Easy. You're all the same. You'll do exactly what Nurse CeCe prescribes. No exceptions. And to prove it, call me, yes right now. And put your phone on Speaker, and I'll give you your test."
She's so cute, isn't she? So of course I played along and hit the Call button. And put her on speaker, awaiting her fun little voice. I'm sure her male patients all love her to death. So sure, I'll play along. What's a little lost sleep in the night?
"Good boy. Ok Mister, here's Nurse CeCe's easy little test. If you were telling me the truth a moment ago, and effectively calling Nurse CeCe a liar, and if you have no little blue pills in your nightstand, then I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and let you be right, and I won't bother you again sbout it, ever, I promise -- simply hit the red button, hang-up and go back to sleep. That's all. So do it if you can! Else, you're admitting you lied to me, Mister, and are prepared for the consequences of lying to Nurse CeCe. Ok, so go on. Hang-up on me if you can."
Dang!
"I'm waiting. Do it. Hang-up on your personal nurse. Go ahead, Mister. Can't you do it?"