I'd been in the same building before but this was different. I had been called to do some actual work for the volunteer bureau but had also been severely warned by my wife, the co-ordinator, that this client may be difficult.
It was the same building with the same scruffy exterior door as before but this flat was completely different inside, it was as neat as a pin, a veritable oasis. Normally these flats were old and tired, but this one had been scrubbed clean and probably looked better than it did when it was new.
Justine is tall and sleek and was wearing a thigh length floral summer dress as she greeted me at the door. She has jet black, laser straight and shoulder length hair, a pale complexion and generally takes great care over her appearance. She also wears large round glasses, has the demeanour that would pass her off as a librarian and a graceful elegance in her gait.
I had been warned not to use toilet, Justine is recovering from a mild case of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and is very hygiene sensitive.
I came fully tooled up. I had a bag, wipes, overalls, a brush and even spare clothes. I took my shoes off at door and left them in a neat line with the smaller children's shoes along the far wall.
Justine gave me a totally different welcome from the one I had received in the building a few weeks before. She was welcoming and polite. She offered me a cup of coffee and ushered me to sit on the small sofa set at one side of the cosy lounge area.
She has two kids, one a toddler, a girl of about three years old and an infant boy, perhaps six months old. The youngest was asleep in his cot and the small girl was playing quietly and delicately with her dolls in the small and cosy lounge.
The lounge was tidy, almost too tidy. There was scarcely any evidence of the children and their toys. The young girl, Hannah, was squeaky clean and played, making happy humming noises, in front of the large flat screen television.
The flat was hot. It was mid-winter but Justine was wearing a thin cotton summer dress and I was sweltering in my jeans and jumper -- it was like a tropical sauna! I quickly peeled off my jumper and laid it across the back of the sofa.
There was a large and solid coffee table in front on which a tray was placed with a plate full of chocolate biscuits. I gave one to the girl and watched her mother's face sink, guiltily, as crumbs tumbled on to the spotless tiled floor. Justine walked over to the kitchen area, opened a cupboard and produced a hand held vacuum cleaner seemingly without missing a beat in making the coffee.
I was handed an oversized mug, double the size of a normal one. It must have held at least a pint of the warm and sweet beverage.
No sooner had we finished our biscuits as the hand held vacuum was liberally and noisily whooshed over the entire area. Nothing was left out of place for long. I gulped the last of my coffee down, made my excuses and stood to go into the bathroom. It gleamed like new as I entered, belaying its 1960's cheap and cheerful origin.
The job I was there to do was to replace some beading around the bath. Apparently there had been a very small section of black mould. I scanned the along the bath edge for any signs but could barely make any out.
I was hot and peeled off all but my vest and pants in preparation for climbing into my clean white overalls. I had my back to the door as I held the garment open, ready to climb in, but turned as Justine came in almost silently holding a tray with another large mug of coffee and more biscuits.
She hesitated, almost shyly, wearing a slight smile with her mouth half open. It seemed that I had caught her checking me out! Her eyes fixed themselves on the bulge in my pants as I continued to turn. She seemed mesmerised but said nothing as I took a hold of the platter.
She took my jeans and shirt, still warm, and folded them up. I saw her drape them on the back of the sofa, next to my jumper, through the half open door.
I set to work. Just as I had finished the last glug of one cup more coffee arrived, this again in another huge mug. In fact in the hour or so I spent, carefully re-doing the silicone beading, I drank at least three giant mugs.
She popped in every few minutes, seemingly keeping an eye on progress but I convinced myself that she was really making sure that I wasn't leaving too much mess. Every time I just finished one another drink would follow, her timing was impeccable.
"I'm just putting the little one to bed." She said on one visit and then on the next, "Hannah has gone off now, I'll just be tidying the lounge."
I spent longer tidying up than actually doing the job. I swept, brushed, cleaned and polished every surface to my upmost.
"You'll need to leave this for at least 24 hours before you get it wet." I insisted. "I have cleaned up as best I can although not to your high standards I am sure, but do try to leave it alone."
I stood and gathered up the black bin bag in which I had placed the rubbish.
"Got anywhere for this?" I asked holding it out for her to grab. "Can I wash my hands?"
I made for the door and realised that my overalls were probably too dirty for her to bear and so I stood and started to unbutton them. Again she paused in front of me and seemed to enjoy the show as I wriggled out of the top. I waited momentarily for her to turn but she didn't, she stood transfixed. So I thought "what the hell" and slipped the bottom half off, after all she had already seen me stripped down to my undies. At least they were clean on I thought to myself as I folded the overalls up and placed them in my tool bag.
I even took my socks off, just in case any dust was caught on the soles. I looked for my jeans as I went out of the room but they weren't on the back of the sofa. I stepped back into the bathroom to look for the bag with my spare clothes, but that had also gone.
Justine ushered me to her kitchen sink. I was a little uncomfortable in just my underwear. After I washed, desperately trying not to spill any water over the edge, she cleaned and dried the sink fastidiously.
"I'll just check on the kids. Help yourself." She pointed as she whisked into the bedroom closing the door lightly behind her.
I swung and noticed that the room had been decked in black plastic sheeting, bin bags had opened out and spread across almost the entire floor. A long glass of cold beer and a half empty bottle stood in the centre of the low slung coffee table.
I heard the tell tale whizz of the hand held vacuum in the bathroom as I slugged at the cold beer enthusiastically. I sat back, nicely cooled but realised that I was in fairly urgent need of the toilet.
Justine seemed to take an inordinate length of time just checking the kids. I drained the bottle, sat slumped back in the seat and sipped at the last of the cool drink as I heard her re-enter the room from behind me.
"Are they asleep?" I asked without turning around.