“Go check on Mr. Jonis,” Gloria the shift supervisor said as April checked in for her shift.
April sighed. As the new kid on the block, Gloria enjoyed giving April all the nastiest jobs that came up. She’s never thought that nurses went though hazing, but this was pretty damned close to it. “Probably another bed pan that needs changing,” she thought.
At the door to Mr., Jonis’s room, April stopped to check the patient’s chart. Mr. Jonis was a Latvian sailor who’d had both legs crushed when a cargo container shifted and trapped him against a bulkhead. The prognosis was good for a full recovery, but Mr. Jonis had both legs in traction and was on heavy narcotic pain killers. The notes on the chat said, “Patient may experience constipation. Give patient enema if no bowel movement.”
April replaced the chart and walked into the room. Mr. Jonis was a big, brawny, man. April could see well defined muscles in the man’s thighs and arms. Jonis's skin was wind and sun cured to a leathery texture. His face was etched by the weather with deep lines that gave him a craggy countenance. There appeared to be perpetual stubble on his chin.
“How are you doing, Mr. Jonis?” April asked.
“Hurt like hell and I can’t move!” Jonis barked in guttural, heavily accented English. “How you think I’m doing?”
“I think you’re doing very well, all things considered,” April said trying to be cheery.
“Yeah?” Jonis sputter somewhere between a cough and a laugh. “You think it’s fun having your ass in the air all day?”
“No,” April said. “But you’re making a good recovery.”
“I can’t shit,” Jonis grunted.
“That’s a side effect of the pain meds.” April said. “I can give you an enema…”
“It ain’t the drugs! I’m too fuckin’ horny!” Jonis barked as he threw back his gown to reveal his fully erect penis. “Can’t shit unless I get this down.”
April blushed looking at the exposed erection. She knew things like this happened. She’d just never encountered it before. “Err,” she murmured, “If you’d like me to give you a few minutes to take care of that, I can come back.”
“No,” Mr. Jonis grunted in exasperation. “I can’t reach it without hurting. You do it for me.”