My Story - Part One
This is the tale of how I changed from a young demure housewife into a, well I'll let my words explain. My name is Sarah and I am twenty-five. It all started just over a year ago. I was going to go shopping in London, but instead went to Reading which meant I got home about two hours earlier than expected. I thought that my husband Steve was out. I went to put my bags of new clothes in the bedroom.
To my horror I walked in and was immediately shocked. There was Steve, lying on our bed, naked with a dirty magazine open in front of him. He was clearly excited and was rubbing himself. Worse than that, he was using a pair of my knickers to rub himself with, the pair I had worn the previous day.
I just didn't know what to say. He looked at me, uttered something like 'I can explain'. My eyes welled up and I just had to get away. I stormed out of the house and got in my car. I hadn't gone far when my mobile rang. It was Steve. I couldn't talk to him right now. Wasn't I enough for him? Why did he have to masturbate in secret? What was it with my knickers? Had I married a pervert? I pressed the reject button on my phone then switched it off before Steve could ring again.
Like all girls in trouble, I found myself driving to my parent's house, about twenty minutes away. I say parents, my father had fought cancer just long enough to see me get married, then just gave up the fight. My mother now lived alone. When I rang the doorbell I was sobbing. She saw my distress, hugged me before steering me into the lounge. By this time I had pulled myself together somewhat and she went to the kitchen to make us some tea. She returned a few minutes later, sat next to me, put an arm around me and asked me what was wrong.
She listened to my description of what I had seen, thought for a moment then said the words that would ultimately change my life.
'Aren't you being a bit harsh on Steve? After all you haven't talked to him about it yet. Better he plays with himself than find some slut to do it for him, paid or otherwise.'
'But I thought I was enough for him. Is it me?' was all I could say. My mother paused before replying.
'Most men I have met in that way have something unique about them. Your father, god rest his soul, was no different. Sometimes he wanted me to', she took a breath before continuing having obviously chosen her words carefully, 'he wanted me to take control in the bedroom.'
Dreading the answer, I asked the question, 'What do you mean take control?'
'Well, occasionally he wanted me to treat him like a naughty little boy, you know, maybe smack his little quivering bottom as he lay across my lap.'
'Sounds kinky, I just can't imagine it, and you went along with it?' I asked.
'It was tough at first but when I threw my own inhibitions to one side and just played the part, it made both of us really horny and we had fantastic sex afterwards.'
'What am I going to do about Steve?'
'Go and talk to him. Don't judge him until you have listened to what he has to say.'
So it was a couple of hours later that Steve and I were sitting in our living room. There was a cold silence until Steve bowed his head.
'Baby, I am so sorry. I was feeling horny and your silk knickers feel so much better against my skin than my hand. The fact that you had worn them made it more exciting. The magazine was nothing. I love you more than life itself and would never do anything to hurt you.' He stopped, looked up and waited for my reply.
I surprised myself with what I replied. 'I don't care about the magazine, or even you using my best underwear to play with yourself. What really hurts is that you feel you have to do it in secret. Don't we have sex often enough for you?'
'It's not that baby, believe me but there are times when I just get excited and want to fantasise.' He knew he had said the wrong thing.
'Fantasise,' my voice was now raised, 'what are these fantasies of yours about then?'
'Well, I mean, you know,' I interrupted him. 'Steve, if I knew I wouldn't be asking the question. There are certain things I need to hear right now. Do you have any idea what a shock this all is? I need to get my head around this, so spit it out.'
'Ok, sometimes I just wish you would, well you know, maybe once in a while, dress up for sex, maybe when we go out, not wear any underwear. I feel that it is always me that asks for sex. It would be nice if you came on to me from time to time.'
I had to admit, shocked as I was, he had actually given me some sort of answer.
'So, what you want is if sometimes I dress up like a tart or maybe in a nurses uniform, just to please you.' The stern look on my face got an instant reaction.
'No, I didn't mean it like that. I just wish that sometimes you would be a bit more adventurous.' I pondered for a while.
'Thank you for telling me how you feel. As you can appreciate I will need to think about this for a while.' That was how we left it.
The following day mid-morning, the doorbell rang. I couldn't tell who it was as an enormous bouquet of flowers obscured them. After taking them from the deliveryman I opened the attached card. It was from Steve and read. 'My darling Sarah, I love you so much it hurts. I never meant to upset you and can only hope you will understand in time. All my love, Steve.'
As I put the flowers into several vases, my eyes welled up, I just couldn't help it. That afternoon I went to see my mother and told her of the previous nights conversation. When she had heard all I had to say she replied with just one sentence. Did I think that he was asking too much? I sat on her sofa cuddling my mug of tea for several minutes before responding.
'Probably not, so what do I do?' We talked for a couple of hours until I felt a lot more comfortable.
It had just gone eight that same evening. Steve was in his favourite armchair and me and my mother were sitting on the sofa, all of us drinking tea.