My Life As A Cuckolds Wife Ch 04

Author's Note:

Hello, Dear Readers!

Before diving into this chapter, I'd love to remind you to check out the earlier chapters if you haven't already. They're packed with moments that bring the characters and their journey to life, and missing them might mean missing key elements of the story!

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Chapter - 4

Life is full of compromises, and it was demanding a huge compromise from me. Shantanu wanted me to be fucked by someone other than him, and if I was even thinking about doing so, it was only because of my love for Shantanu, I not only loved him, I also owed a lot to him in life. I wanted to hold my head high as a faithful and dedicated wife and my assignment was to search faithfulness in unfaithfulness, I was expected to give away my body without giving away my heart. Fuck a stranger without enjoying the pounding of my cunt. I don't know if Shantanu too expected this from me but this is what I wanted the worst case scenario in my sex life to be.

I was scared of indulging because of multiple reasons, I very well knew that I would be compromising my sexual and moral integrity by fucking another man for my husband Shantanu's happiness but I was also scared of liking such illicit and immoral sex. I was fully aware that my pussy may like the sex even if I didn't want it to do so.

I was time and again rejecting Shantanu's proposal but the unfortunate part of such rejection was that before rejecting it, I was evaluating it through visualisation and though I don't like conceding it but it was exciting to think and fantasise such sex.

I don't know whether it was Shantanu's good or bad luck that I loved him too much and therefore couldn't give myself to anyone that I didn't love. I wasn't ready to be used by someone who I didn't love, even if it was at the behest of someone that I loved. In other words if another man was to fuck me he or Shantanu would have to make me fall in love with that guy.

There is this famous dialogue from the Bollywood movie 'Om Shanti Om' which says "कहते है अगर किसी चीज़ को पूरी शिद्दत से चाहो, तो पूरी कायनात तुम्हें उससे मिलाने की कोशिश में लग जाती है!" Meaning, that if you are wholeheartedly dedicated to someone or something, the entire universe converges together to get you to meet them!

Shantanu, proved this to be true, as his desperation had immense magnetism, his strong desire was silently but definitely paving way for the fulfilment of his heart's desire, despite my natural and inbuilt resistance. Impossible was telling Shantanu, I-am-possible.

I was a sanskari 'one-man-woman' in terms of the values imparted to me by my late parents, and I wanted to keep it that way throughout my life. Shantanu my own husband wanted to be cuckolded to fulfil his obsessive and perverse desire of eating cream-pies from his wife's pussy. My religious and cultural values were in direct conflict with Shantanu's sexual desires, in the sense that if his fetish for licking out another man's cum from his wife's pussy had to find fulfilment then I would certainly have to sacrifice my sexual integrity and have intercourse with someone other than Shantanu.

I had already made the mistake of listening to Shantanu's pleas which had evoked my sympathy for him. The removal of initial hitch had provided Shantanu the opportunity that he needed. My weak aversion at the outset itself had given Shantanu the hope that he needed and after that he had become completely shameless in demanding 'cream-pies' from me, as if they were his birthright. He had become so persistent that he kept on calling and messaging me even from the office every day, and that too throughout the day.

Shantanu had killed and buried his self-esteem completely and now was therefore extremely explicit in making his requests, he was playing ultra smart while trying to convince me that, my taking a lover or lovers would be a win-win for both of us. I would get the sexual satisfaction which Shantanu hadn't been able to provide and Shantanu himself would get a taste of cream-pies, that he wanted to eat everyday.

Shantanu was good at selling and he was using his marketing skills on me also exceedingly well. He would encourage me, "Jyoti my sweet darling, just imagine how nice, you too would feel when you are fucked by a cock that can give you orgasm after orgasm during fucking, something that I haven't been able to give you and probably can never give you. Don't stay away from that heavenly pleasure, which awaits you on the other side of shame and hesitation. You deserve to feel good baby, just embrace the fulfilment and be open to another man making love to you my sweetheart wife!!!"

Shantanu was more encouraging and persuasive than he should have been and he was generally camouflaging his real intent by telling me that I needed to do this for myself also. He was impressing and imposing the need for this adulterous sex on me, by convincing me that it was something that I desperately needed despite the fact that I didn't want to waste my purity, but Shantanu was creating doubts in my mind, that's the power of advertising.

I had been listening to, but also ignoring Shantanu's pleas and pleadings for initiating sex with someone other than him, so that he could devour freshly made cream-pies from my just-fucked pussy, because I had no intentions, whatsoever of acceding to those absurd requests, after cooperating to the extent that I considered possible, in the sense, that I was okay with him eating his own spunk from my pussy after shooting inside me, but going beyond that was a sinister plan and I didn't want to be a part of executing it.

I had no intentions of actioning upon Shantanu's requests because my religious and cultured brain had been outrightly rejecting his outrageous ideas but my pussy too had a brain of its own, which was sympathetically considering the sensuous petitions placed before it and I can't deny that Shantanu's begging had undoubtedly become a source of my sexual fantasies as it appeared to be harmless fun to explore them privately in my heart without letting anyone know, and I had therefore started enjoying the eroticism of those fantasies. However I was determined to keep those fantasies at the level of fantasies only, and didn't have any plans for turning them into reality.

My destiny however had different plans for me, and I had become a mere puppet in the hands of the universe, who would have to be on stage to play the part assigned to her then and there. I didn't know that the strings attached to me would be pulled at the appropriate juncture to make me dance to the tune of time and I would have no choice then.

That's the real beauty of the life, which at times can be so unpredictable that you never know, as to what would happen in the next moment.

I had never been as indecisive a person, as I became during that period of my life. I had no intentions of letting the temptations to walk into my life, despite the fact that these temptations had been invited into our life by none other than my own husband and were now righteously knocking on my doors. As far as I am concerned, they were unwelcome but Shantanu on the contrary wanted to embrace them with open arms and that too not just in his life but also into my life. He had provided a key to the lock on the door of our relationship to those very temptations, to enable them to make a forced entry.

My marriage had been moving on the path of togetherness and friendship filled happiness, I was content with Shantanu as my husband and didn't need anything more. Mine was literally a 'rags to riches' story, as I had covered a huge distance in life and have to acknowledge with full gratitude that I was faring much better than expected after losing my parents. I was grateful to Shantanu for whatever had been granted to me.

I was a simpleton and therefore not a nymphomaniac, I was also perfectly happy with what I was getting and giving in our marital bed. After the initial romp of pre-marital sex, things had gradually settled down between Shantanu and me, as a couple. The sexual excitement between us was very much alive but had undoubtedly diminished. Sex wasn't as frequent as before but I wasn't dissatisfied, but wherever it was, I had accepted it as a natural process and had no qualms about it.

Shantanu for obvious reasons wanted to reignite the fire to its fullest potential, using any means whatsoever, his sole focus was on 'cream-pies' so much so that he was unable to concentrate even on work, this obsessive desire was playing on his mind Twenty four-Seven.

So schematic and conspiring, Shantanu had become that to get my sympathy and attention, he started setting false narratives of making huge mistakes in work because he was concerned about MY (read 'HIS') sexual satisfaction, and when I questioned and confronted him, he didn't deny that he too was seeking his own happiness in 'cream-pies' irrespective of whether the means to obtain them were considered proper or improper by the society..

I was perfectly happy with my normal sex-life and had no intentions or desire to find out, as to what lay on the other side and beyond, but undoubtedly, after Shantanu's instigation I had been thinking a lot about the possibility of sex with guys other than Shantanu but these thoughts weren't my own creation as they had been literally pushed into my brain after its doors and windows being forcefully opened by my own husband, Shantanu himself to accommodate his cuckolding interest.

Shantanu wanted me to be open to purely sexual relationships with other men, and to do so I would have to use my body without involving my heart. I on the other hand was morally conditioned to give my body only to the one who possessed my heart, and I thought that thad already done that once for all.

There is this song which says, "मांझी जब नाव डुबोए, उसे कौन बचाए?" Meaning, if the boatman intentionally capsizes his own boat, how can someone save such a boat?. Shantanu who I thought had the exclusive right to both my body and heart, not only himself wanted to share me with other men, for his pleasure but also wanted me to enjoy such sharing. This had become a huge conflict in my life. I was trying my level best to maintain the sanctity of my marriage but my own husband was begging me to destroy it for his sexual fun and was not sparing any effort for it.

I should have retained the power to say 'NO' but alas, I didn't have it, and irrespective of my lack of interest and unwillingness to participate, I was still thinking about Shantanu's requests and in that process consistently becoming weaker day-by-day and therefore sympathetically tilting more and more towards Shantanu's desire fulfilment on a daily basis while fantasising about having sex with someone other than my husband. The strength of my 'rejection' was becoming weaker and weaker, day by day. I hadn't acknowledged it even to myself but I had begun enjoying fantasising of such sex.

Then came the day that reversed everything in the opposite direction. That day had come into my life to completely demolish my morality by misusing the love in my life. It exposed a side of me, that I didn't know existed. If I was opposed to 'sex just for sex' our destiny made provision for Shantanu being served, his heart's desire, 'Cream-Pies' with the beautiful topping of more than required 'Love' and that removed all the obstacles in the path of 'SEX' as Shantanu wanted it. Shantanu finally won, but I didn't lose either.

That evening, I was alone at home just chilling out with a drink, when suddenly I remembered that I had forgotten some money in the pocket of the jeans that I had worn the previous day.

I went to the ground floor bathroom to retrieve the forgotten money from the pocket of the jeans lying in our laundry basket. I found the money but more

importantly and alongside I also discovered something else, something that irreversibly changed my life forever!!

As I searched for my jeans, which was buried under other clothes, I came across my panty, the one that I had worn the previous day, under the very jeans that I was looking for, I had taken the jeans off in the evening but had continued wearing the panty till late at night and had dumped it into the laundry basket just before going to my bedroom.

I had left this panty particularly dirty, because that day Shantanu had once again encouragingly begged me to find a lover who could fuck me and fill my cunt with his cum. The kinky thoughts had kept my cunt moist, and I had creamed a lot, in those panties throughout the day. I was trying my best to stay away from the sexual freedom and permissiveness which was being imposed on me despite the resistance from my side but then I am only 'human' and therefore the constant hammering of the temptations was definitely having some effect. The impact of the effect was very much visible as my cunt was oozing out its sex-dew all the time, I had therefore been dropping my panties into the laundry basket in a pretty dirty condition.

Normally I wouldn't give my PANTY a second look but this ONE attracted my attention as it didn't appear to be in its original condition and shape, that I had left it in.

The current condition of the panty in question told me a drastically different story, as it was crusty and crumpled into a ball, I immediately realised the implications of my discovery. I didn't need to be told that the crustiness in the panty was because of the dried sperm which had been shot into it and I couldn't give myself any marks for guessing that the person responsible for this, though unbelievable, but it was undoubtedly our trusted nineteen year old servant, VICKY!!!

My initial reaction was utter shock and disbelief, I felt as if life was draining out of my body. My world turned upside down. I suddenly felt dizzy and the world around me seemed to revolve at a very fast pace, while my head appeared to be spinning in the opposite direction. I was so used and repulsed that my stomach literally started to churn and suddenly I had the urge to throw-up. I couldn't cope-up with the extremity of the situation and immediately squatted down near the pot and threw-up big-time into it.

Tears rolled out of my eyes as I felt so ashamed of myself that I wanted to die a thousand deaths. This wasn't just an intrusion into my privacy but also an unacceptable personal defeat for me. The rock of trust hadn't just been moved but shattered into bits and pieces. I had more faith in Vicky than my own self and now that faith has been completely crushed under the unbearable weight of Vicky's lust for none other than me.

It was too much of a shock to absorb, the upbringing that I had given to Vicky, who was nothing less than a son to me, seemed to have gone astray.

The condition of the panty was raising some questions which I wanted to avoid, I was sort of trying to completely shut down the doors of my already numb mind, but that wasn't happening because my mind, even in this condition was shouting at me to tell me that, Vicky wanted to have sex with me!!!!!!!

This was far much more than what I could take, I was already boggled with the outrageous demands made by Shantanu and now with this bolt, completely out of the blue, I had found out that Vicky too wanted to use me sexually.

I was already feeling suffocated because of Shantanu's exceedingly outrageous and immoral demands, I was too tense because of his desire to surrender his rights to other people and was already in grip of fear.

An electric shock ran through my body, just as I explicitly thought about sex between Vicky and me, because the thoughts that were crossing my mind at this time, had been totally-totally unthinkable till just a few minutes back. The shock was indeed so intense that it momentarily paralysed me. I was feeling completely directionless.

The worst part of the situation was that it had literally torn me into two. I had been so consumed by the fear of likely consequences that I was at this point of time extremely scared of everyone that I loved, be it Vicky, Shantanu or even my own self. I didn't know as to how any of us would react to the discovery, going forward. I wasn't connecting any dots and just looking at things in isolation. My mind was just working on the worst case scenarios.

Vicky was topmost on my mind, and I didn't know, what I wanted to do with him. My initial reaction to Vicky's objectionable action of using my soiled panties for his sexual gratification, was rage and anger. I was furious as I felt terribly betrayed, I did not want to believe my eyes, but couldn't help it, because the truth was standing absolutely naked in front of me, and dancing a shameless dance of sex. I was utterly disgusted and terrified and found myself in a hopeless situation, where I didn't know as to how I would salvage it.

Vicky's action was unbelievable, his was the last name on mother earth, that I would expect to do such a thing. He had insulted our pure love, which I always thought was devoid of even any selfishness, let alone hidden lust. I had so much trust in Vicky that despite the evidence in front of my eyes, I didn't want to believe it. My panty was shouting out Vicky's name and yet I wanted to close my ears and act deaf.

I was feeling sorry for myself for having discovered the controversial panty, because I didn't know as to how should I react to this major event in my life. The situation was making demands which I didn't want to fulfil and what I deep down wanted, wasn't just and fair. I was so infuriated and frustrated that I just wanted a time-machine to take me back in time to the point where I could just let the forgotten money be in the pocket of my jeans without bothering to find it, so that I can remain ignorant about Vicky's fetish for my panties.

I was also wondering as to where did things go wrong in my relationship with Vicky, I also had to acknowledge that it wasn't entirely his fault that he had been using my panties for his masturbatory pleasure. Somewhere I too was as fault, my being blind to possibilities wasn't anybody else's mistake. I had been oblivious to the changes in my sexuality and its impact on my panties. I should have known that, the cunt cream that I had been overloading my exotic panty's gusset with, was a delicacy and delight for any sexual pervert.

No doubt that the gusset of my soiled panties these days was always full of my cunt cream and few drops of dried pee that would leak into them, as Shantanu's constant and shameless begging to satisfy his insatiable hunger for cream-pies out of my pussy had impacted me deep down, and now willingly or unwillingly I too was always immersed in sexual plans & fantasies, which I had no intentions of executing.

I was foolish enough to ignore the cause and effect relationship between my newly found exotic sexual fantasies and my creaming excessively into my panties, and therefore had continued to leave my panties for being washed in the laundry hamper, as before without considering the message that these panties, loaded with my pussy juices were conveying.

Even though I didn't want to be an actual participant in the sexual perversity of 'cuckolding' Shantanu but his constant and persistent pleading, at least required an evaluation, and to do that I had to visualise to understand. That visualisation unfortunately turned into my own fantasies. The unavoidable sexual thoughts were definitely having an effect and had gradually transformed me into sex-starved woman, who in accordance with her husband's wishes was considering becoming a 'slut'. I have been a very strong women and I was sure that I wasn't going to actually give into those merciful demands but I didn't know at that time that I was almost on the verge of actually becoming a slut.