Hey.
I'm Franka, 22, a medical student in the clinical section. I'm not really the type to write publicly about my private life - but something in me has changed. Maybe because I've realized that some experiences bother you more than you want to admit to yourself. Maybe also because I hope that someone out there will read this and feel understood.
This is my first story.
It's not made up. And it wasn't easy for me.
I've been with my boyfriend Timo for almost three years. He's 21, studying business informatics and is currently in the middle of his bachelor's thesis. He's smart, reserved and attentive. More the quiet type who doesn't need many words to show me how much he loves me.
We got to know each other through the student council - a joint project between doctors and computer scientists. I was completely overwhelmed by the technical details and he explained everything to me. I remember watching his hands typing - calm, controlled, a little nervous.
It was something special right from the start. No pressure. No comparison. We were each other's firsts - in bed, but also in trust. We talk a lot. About everything, really everything.
About six months ago, on one of those rainy November evenings, we were sitting on his sofa, snuggled up warmly under a blanket. He was quieter than usual. Then he told me. That he has been into something since he was young that he himself was uncomfortable with for a long time: ABDL. So, wearing diapers, the feeling of security, sometimes the desire to let go.
I was surprised, but not shocked. Maybe because he was so honest. Maybe because I heard this mixture of fear and trust in his voice.
And he never said anything about it afterwards. No urging, no hinting, no details. It was just out there - and then it was over.
Until one day I paid him a surprise visit. I was early and wanted to bring him something. I got a key from his parents. When I opened the bathroom door, he was standing there - only half-dressed, with a diaper in his hand, visibly startled.
I immediately pulled the door shut again, mumbled a "Sorry!" and almost ran out again. But something changed in my head.
What I haven't told you yet: I myself have been wearing thicker pads or briefs occasionally since I was a teenager - due to severe bladder weakness. Sometimes due to stress, sometimes due to hormones. Especially at night, on long days at university or during stressful periods. I always hated that. It made me feel small and insecure.
But Timo never looked at me funny because of that. Maybe that's what made me more open. For him. For the topic. To this other side of intimacy.
Two months later, we went on vacation. A week in Austria - forest, mountains, a small chalet all to ourselves. We wanted to get away from it all. No university, no appointments, just the two of us.
The evening before we left, I lay awake for a long time. I had actually "taken" one of Timo's diapers from his bedside table. Just like that. I don't even know what I was thinking. I had hidden it, buried in one of my bags.
That morning, I stood in the bathroom and stared at my reflection. I was nervous. My heart was beating faster than usual. I hesitated. Breathed deeply. Then I put them on - slowly, carefully, almost as if in a trance.
It was soft. Thicker than anything I'd ever worn. The feeling between my legs was unfamiliar - but not unpleasant. I put a pair of leggings on over it, a loose sweatshirt and later wrapped a blanket around my legs in the car. I felt brave and vulnerable at the same time.
Timo was punctual as always. He lifted my luggage into the trunk, kissed me fleetingly on the forehead and smiled. He had no idea. And that was exactly what made me tingle.
The first two hours passed quietly. We listened to music, talked about God and the world. I kept nodding, smiling - but my insides were a stream of thoughts.
The diaper nestled against me with every movement. It was there - and I was aware of it every second. It wasn't uncomfortable. On the contrary. I felt... safe. Wrapped up.
Around midday, I felt a slight pull in my bladder for the first time. Normally, I would have said something by now. But I kept quiet.
I wanted to know what it felt like. Just a little. I closed my eyes and let go of a few drops. The warmth that spread instantly took my breath away. It was a brief, intense moment, almost like a flash of lightning. I gasped softly.
I tensed up briefly, tried to cross my legs inconspicuously - but that only made it worse. The friction, the pressure... everything was more intense than expected.
Part of me just wanted to let go. The other was already ashamed of the thought. I was 22 - and sitting in a diaper next to my boyfriend while we drove through the mountains.
But it wasn't just shame. It was a tingling sensation that slowly spread from my stomach. A kind of forbidden warmth that I couldn't place.
I felt myself give in briefly. A small surge - barely noticeable, but overwhelming for me. The diaper became warm, snuggled even closer to me. I flinched unconsciously and took a sharp breath.
