Where do I even begin? For readers who haven't read my previous stories, my name is Misty. I'm your typical ordinary looking girl, dirty blonde hair and plump boobs with a curvier figure. Not fat and not skinny. My sex drive is anything but ordinary, though. The past couple of months I've been exploring a new founded fetish I happened on by accident. Scat.
If you saw me pass by you in a store, at the library, or anywhere you could think of.. you would never think that I was the type of girl into this. I don't look like or act like a person that would ever be into such a dirty and depraved fetish, and no one I don't think would ever be able to guess that I was but here I am!
As I mentioned in my last experience I shared with you, the amount of support I've received has been absolutely overwhelming. It just keeps on continuing, too!
When I first set out to write about how I discovered this fetish, I chose Literotica to be the place I could share my secret with the random people of the internet. It was my way of being able to confess to people how dirty I love to be, without the drama that would come in real life if anyone found out.
I have gotten several messages from other women who have found comfort in telling me that they share a similar fetish and that my stories have opened them up to experimenting with themselves. I can't even describe how good this makes me feel inside!
Let's face it, scat is a very taboo fetish. It is the brunt of a lot of jokes, kink shaming, you name it. I've scoured forums on random sites, researched as much as I possibly could of why people develop the fetish, but have still come up short as to why it turns me on so much. So when I read the messages you girls have sent me, saying you feel very excited to have a friend or someone to trust that you can open up to about liking something so dirty, it brings the utmost joy to my life. I hope that us women can start breaking the mold, making this fetish become less taboo and more commonplace and accepted in the future. After all, guys aren't the only ones who have such filthy fantasies!
Why am I telling you all this? Because this is where my next experience picked up. After my last story, "Delving Deeper into My Messy Fetish", where I ended up having a really dirty time in my roommate's panties, I was riddled with an extreme guilt on my conscience that I just couldn't shake for the life of me. This is part of the reason I took a bit longer to post another experience. I decided that I was gonna stop the experimenting, no extreme fetishes or anything anymore. I thought it would be easy, I really did.
Every time I saw my roommate Angela, I just couldn't help but keep seeing what I did that night play out in my head. It turned me on immensely, and I ended up masturbating furiously a few more nights afterwards but eventually the guilt caught up to me. It didn't help matters either that she actually asked me where her panties disappeared to. I just ended up telling her that I had no clue where they went and left it at that. I had to realize that a normal person with a normal mind would never suspect what had really taken place so I didn't get too paranoid about her ever suspecting what really happened.
Then the shame crept in. I felt so fucking bad about ruining those panties. I felt filthy and dirty and a horrible self loathing for the way I had been behaving the past month. I hated myself for being so turned on over it and finally just told myself that that was it. I didn't care how pent up I was going to get, I would never masturbate to anything remotely dirty like that again. I was officially done with being a "sexual deviant". Blame it on my religious upbringing, my own guilt over giving into the urges, I just didn't want anymore of it!
I ended up deleting all my bookmarks, history, everything! Up to this point, I had gotten quite a collection of my favorite websites and videos to watch while playing with myself, and even ended up joining an amateur scat site to try to make some friends in the scat community and to be able to build a collection of my favorite videos. It was all gone within an hour or so, though.
I went on for about two weeks, being awfully tempted and having my horniness build up at times but I constantly resisted and never gave in. I didn't let myself go anywhere near anything remotely sexual on the internet whatsoever. It was a brutal two weeks but I somehow made it through without any masturbation! I convinced myself that I didn't need it anymore and that it was ruining me as a person. I even stopped checking Literotica! I was so fucking serious to stop this addiction. I thought I had won.
I decided to attend church for the first time in a very long time, I'd say a couple of years at least. For privacy reasons, I won't say which one but if you read my first experience I ever wrote on here, you would know I came from an extremely Christian background. I was seeking out serious help because I starting having the most intense urges to start masturbating again.
I craved to watch filthy videos, to see girls being dirty, to play with myself, to be messy again. It penetrated every single thought of my head at this point. I begged my own body to just give in and release the tension that had built up, but I still resisted somehow! All I had to think about was how much Angie trusted me as her roommate, and what I secretly had done in her panties, which would then keep me in check with myself and remind me how shameful I felt. At this point though, it was turning me on again more than anything else.