He lubricates the inflatable dildo and eases it into me, slower than he needs to. He knows I need time to mentally prepare. Gradually, he inflates the dildo until I hit my limit and start to whimper. He helps me relax by stroking my hair and reminding me to breathe. Once I manage to relax, he inflates the dildo further. We repeat this process, with him slowly inflating the dildo as I relax my pussy muscles little by little, until it reaches maximum inflation.
This part is always hard to take. I have to work hard to relax my muscles or it feels like I am being torn apart. I am good at this now so it only hurts a little, but the dildo stretches me so wide and fills me so completely, it scares me and makes me feel utterly vulnerable and helpless. I don't know why I feel this way, but I love it. I should hate it but I love it. I can't explain it but it just feels so right.
Once my boyfriend gets the dildo to maximum inflation, he deflates it to give me a break. While we wait, he will start fondling my breasts again, and twisting and tugging at my nipples. By now I am usually moaning uncontrollably. Before long, he begins to reinflate the dildo, without stopping this time, until it is fully inflated, and holds it for a count of 30. I squeeze my eyes shut and whimper until he releases the pressure, only to start inflating it again.
Eventually he decides I've had enough and this part of the session comes to an end. He fully inflates the dildo and holds it in place with his thumb, while with his index and middle fingers he begins to stroke and massage my swollen clit. His other hand continues to work my breasts and nipples. Despite my suffering, it never takes me long to cum like this. To be honest, I think it makes me cum harder. I've always responded that way to feelings of helplessness. It's just the way I am.
My pussy always feels empty after he removes the dildo from it, and I almost miss the impossibly full sensation that came before. Sometimes my boyfriend likes to fuck me in this state - his cock slides in easiest right after my stretching, and I'm always in a very receptive and submissive state. Other time he prefers to just hold me while I come back to my senses. Sometimes I drift off to sleep like this and it's the most wonderful way to fall asleep, thoroughly stretched, aching and exhausted. I truly do love our special routine.