I'm not sure how I get myself in these situations or attract these kinds of people, but it seems to be a regular thing. I met this woman a few months ago. Actually I used to see her jogging around the neighborhood and what got my attention was that she had a big, wide ass and luscious hips. So I'd see her chugging along with her little dog when I was out for my run and I would sort of check her out from afar. I loved the way her ass jiggled and shifted as she ran and I couldn't help but admire the fact that she didn't give a shit that she had a big ass. She was going to exercise publicly anyway! A lot of middle-aged women like her with big bottoms wouldn't dare be seen working out in public with an ass that didn't fit the model image. But she was different, and I had a sneaking suspicion, perhaps a bit wild.
So like the masochistic, dumbass that I am, I concocted a plan to meet her. I'm not proud of this, but I found out where she lived and went and kidnapped her dog from her backyard. I put the mangy runt in my garage and waited a few days. Sure enough, she had soon posted lost dog notices on several lamp posts on our street. So the next day I contacted her and I took the foul-tempered little beast over there and knocked on her door. Her face lit up when she saw him.
"Sugarlips!" she exclaimed in an elated voice as she reached out and took him from me.
"I found him in my front yard and I kept him until I saw your sign." I told her.
"Oh my god! I thought he was lost for good!" she said as she hugged the little rat.
"My name is Mervyn." I said with a cheesy smile.
"Oh, nice to meet you!" she returned, "I'm Doris."
Luckily, dogs can tell no tales. Forgive the pun. But the ruse worked perfectly. She recognized me as the fellow runner she often saw on the road and I reinforced that commonality by telling her that I just adored Shih Tzu breeds. I watched her eat up all my prevarications until she invited me in.
She wasn't a bad looking woman up close. Certainly not someone most guys would pay attention to, but her body was well-made and her face was what I would term "sexy homely". She wore her dark hair short, and she also wore large-framed eyeglasses that made her appear a bit nerdy. But as she lead me into the living room that day, all I could see was that big delicious ass of hers, trapped beneath those running pants trying its best to break out at the seams! She was tall. About 5' 9". And she looked to weigh perhaps 220 pounds. By contrast, I go about 5' 10" on a good day and weigh a steady 170. Her size, I must admit, made my stomach tingle. She invited me to sit down at the kitchen table.
"So can I get you something to drink?" she asked.
"Sure, water is fine."
She filled a glass with ice and filtered water and brought it to me.
So what do you do, Mervyn?" she asked as she set the glass down in front of me.
"I'm a graphic designer." I told her. This is an occupation that people react positively to.
"Oh, how neat." She said.
"What do you do?" I quickly asked before she could follow up.
"I'm a CPA." She said.
"Jeez, I wish I had an analytical mind." I told her.
She laughed. "No, then you couldn't be a graphic designer!"
She seemed to be enjoying the idea that I was creative and something told me not to try to get too personal too fast. I looked around and didn't see any signs of manly cohabitation. Might she be an old spinster?
"So what does your husband do? I asked as a check.
"Oh, I've been divorced for five years now." She replied with a smile.
"And what about you?" she continued.
This was when I knew I had her on the line.
"Me? No, I'm not married. Still looking for Mrs. Right." I told her with a wistful sigh.
She was asking all the right questions now and this told me she was sizing me up as a potential partner. My heart fluttered with excitement. I was that much closer to that beautiful, big ass of hers. But she had to be the one to extend the invitation. After all, I was the unmarried hero who had saved her dog. I waited there in silence for the invitation. I just sat there and smiled at her. Finally it came.
"Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow evening?" she asked at last.
I acted pleasantly surprised.
"Sure!" I said.
The next night I arrived early with flowers. She answered the door in a dress and makeup! Bingo!
For dinner she fed me Kielbasa with onions and potatoes. Now I knew how she packed on those pounds! It was all delicious and we were soon on the couch chatting about my travels in Europe.
"You must visit Holland!" I told her, "The Dutch are a fascinating people. They're very upfront about things."
She leaned into me when I said this.
"They sound fascinating!" she said.
She was honing in on me now as I noticed the familiar glazed look come over her face. That's when I leaned into her and took the lead. I kissed her lightly on the lips and then pulled back. Yes, she was going to respond to the coy approach. I leaned in a second time for a longer kiss. She kissed me back and then raised the ante with her tongue. I pushed mine against hers in a tease and then went in for a full, open- mouth kiss with pressure and suction. She wasn't a bad kisser and soon I had my hand moving down her waist to her flared hip. My god! It was a shelf!
From her hip I managed to move my hand to the side of her ass. Then she grabbed my arm and pulled back from me.
"We can't forget dessert!" she said smiling as she got up.
She went and brought cheesecake for us which I ate in two forkfuls. But perhaps I had rushed things. After dessert she invited me to tour her garden in the backyard and we did kiss under the moon, but she kept my hands secured in hers and the message was delivered.
No feel-up on the first date!
The second and third dates however developed along similar lines and I was starting to suspect she was pulling my chain. Then one day we went jogging together and when we got back to her house she seemed to be in a randy mood. I wasn't feeling very sexy however and wanted to go home and take a shower to get the stink off of me. Perhaps she sensed my discomfort and wanted to see me squirm because she came over as I sat at her kitchen table and plopped down in my lap! Christ! I was mortified! I felt all of her weight and heat pressing forcefully against my sex parts in a sudden and complete show of dominance. My face felt as if it were a flashing red light! She was squashing me! I gripped her sides reflexively, but couldn't get a word out of my mouth! I was trapped! She started to wiggle her butt and I just felt my face start to pound with hot flushes. Was this the kind of teasing shit that she was in to? Whatever her motivations, I had to admit, I felt a degree of excitement in this helpless position.