Tonight he's mine completely.
We move together in the darkness. In the silence. I know these moments are precious, I know I should savour each one, because in times to come it might not be like this.
We are both drunk, granted, so the sex is not perfect. It is more fumbling, clumsy. Our sweating bodies move together, each of us seeking our joint pleasure and that final joyful - yet so far elusive - release.
The preceding evening returns to my mind in disjointed flashback.
It is the start of winter and the nights are drawing in. By the time I arrived in town it was already dark and I feared I was late. I hurriedly clip-clopped my way through town in my new boots. They had taken me some time put on as the soft leather needed to be wrapped just so around my calves. The boots were not yet broken in and the high heels were already making my feet ache, but it was worth it as they looked beautiful.
I heard a shout - my clip-clopping had alerted my friends to my arrival and we happily made our way to the pub together, where we passed a pleasant few hours together.
My relationship is a secret and the thrill of keeping it so has not waned. I chatted with him amiably and I talked to our other drinking companions, never giving anything away. He went to the bar and got me a drink while giving me loaded looks all the way back to our table.
I don't know why we keep it a secret. I've often mused over what it would be like to be out in the open, but at the moment it seems to suit us as it is. We have not spoken about our feelings. I just trust that he - my Max - is really into me. And there is something about the secrecy and the feeling of naughtiness that makes the whole situation . . . Potent.
Would it cause such a storm if we were to be honest with all our friends? Maybe not, but we are not yet ready to present 'us' to the world.
Later in the evening Max asked if I would like to stay the night at his home. Alcohol had definitely lowered our inhibitions, as we both knew he already had another friend staying in his tiny house that night. But I agreed - of course I wanted to stay the night! I had not yet spent the night with him, and the anticipation sent the alcohol to my head even more.