Lisa was not really sure that she should continue the SAA meetings. They had not been effective at stopping her from looking at hardcore films on the Net, nor from indulging her dirty chatting and webcam sessions. So why go to them if they just made her feel guilty about doing what she would do anyway? It was partly because she was now able to tele-work from her office at home; her deep fear was that the hours spent indulging and masturbating might one day shoot out of control, her work would dry up (conversely to the state of her cunt), and she'd end up destitute instead of a smart 40-something woman with steady money and her own little house. And she felt a sense of kindred spirit with some of the others in SAA and a sense of liberation in being able to tell others about her secret life. So for the past 6 months, her Thursday nights had been her SAA nights, crossing town to the safety of other neighbourhoods where no-one knew her.
She had only gone to SAA because she had been made to feel so dirty. Perhaps after all her tastes were dirty, she told herself. She was attracted to men and to all subjects that were really out of the usual (illegal activities did not appeal to her though, so much the better thought she). She loved those who talked and chatted filth for her and told her all the things they were ready to do for and have done by her. She watched on cam while they masturbated and talked, and fingered and dildoed their holes, and pissed and shat for her and smeared themselves. She watched as they gave themselves enemas and dribbled down their latex fronts. She told them how they should obey her and be her toilet and sometimes she peed and pooed for them too, always masturbating. Anonymity was essential, however, and her leather helmet meant no-one knew what her face looked like -- just her voice, her body, her breasts, her hairy full-lipped cunt, her big bottom and thick sexual thighs. It was not just to protect her privacy that she wore the helmet now: just putting it on had an instant wetting effect on her.
The final straws pushing her to SAA came first from her previous boyfriend Jim -- a nice guy but ultimately boring -- and then from a therapy group she'd joined after her break-up with Jim. She'd sneaked downstairs at 5am one weekend when Jim seemed fast asleep and put on her hidden leather balaclava helmet and was naked watching one of her webcam 'friends' from the US shitting for her and masturbating with it while telling her about the smell and how much he wanted her to suck his foul shit-caked cock. Lisa was just nearing her own orgasm when Jim burst in and hit the roof. As if that hadn't been enough, and her guilt and depression after he'd left (calling her a 'filthy sex-obsessed weirdo, fit only for the gutter' and some more choice names), her therapy group only lasted two sessions. The therapist running it had made clear at the end of the second one, after Lisa had been pressed to specify exactly in what she indulged in front of her computer and had reluctantly given some basic facts, that this was not suitable stuff for her group. Taking her to one side: 'I'm sure Sex Addicts Anonymous would work better for you Lisa'. And that's how it began.