The restaurant.
I'm having dinner with my mom and my new girlfriend in a feminist shop that has all women chefs and waitresses. My mom chose this place as she believed men had too many privileges in life and women needed a helping hand. Regardless I am glad she chose this place, it's very beautiful with a marble interior and very professional setting. The general public agrees since it's jam packed, mostly with other women who would love to see more female run businesses succeed.
As we eat as normal, the dreaded topic of politics springs up in conversation.
"I agree, the world would be such a better place, if the world was run by women. Men are too aggressive and stupid." Mom responds to my girlfriend's desire to see more women in public life.
"Your right, men have small dick energy, it's just within their nature," giggles my girlfriend, Beth in a cheeky laughter.
Mom responds with a slight chuckle herself, and I am secretly enraged. I just try to ignore them and look around, the waitresses in their professional attire and groups of women in differing tables around me enjoying their meals. Despite this I internally question why they think it's acceptable to make fun of small penises? What have we done to them?
I believe that now is the best time to highlight that I was born with a micropenis. When it's soft it's just the head peeping out and when hard it's a measly 2.5 inches. So yeah, I wish I was considered small instead of minuscule. Which is why as a result neither my girlfriend or my mom has seen my penis. I've been with Beth for about 2 months and I refuse every one of her advances and reject her even touching me down there, where I just tell her I'm waiting for a good moment, but in reality I am just hiding a thimble.
I decided to let the comment slide and try to ignore it and decide on eating my food, which I was really enjoying. Unfortunately my mom brings the topic up.
"Small dick energy sure is a funny phrase hahaha!" She exclaims a bit louder than I would've liked.
"Haha, I think small dicks are important for women! It's good to empower us and laugh at men for once, when we know that's all they do to us!" Asserts Beth
"Agreed! You know son, you really chose a good girlfriend here!" Cries mom in happiness giving Beth a quick wink.
"Oh go fuck your self, bitches!," I say in seething anger, frustrated at the casual small penis shaming. My comment was louder than expected and the patrons in my immediate vicinity overheard and attempted to make sly glances at us. They seriously have no idea how hard it is to have a micropenis, girls always laugh and make jokes on it and even when you want to relax and watch T.V, bang small dick joke! It's absurd!
Unfortunately for me, my mom is not a shy woman. She's a broad, strong lady with large breasts and genuinely does not tolerate any back talk and everything goes her way.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOUNG MAN?!" Mother loudly states, now there is a severing silence across the restaurant and all eyes focus on us.
In my regret I quickly muster up, "nothing mom,sorry" in a quick whisper hoping the ordeal is quickly finished.
"NO,NO. YOU WILL TELL EVERYONE WHAT YOU JUST CALLED US!"
Now the waitress comes over, and professionally asks my mom to calm down for the other patrons.
My mom turns to address the waitress and with genuine rage she loudly exclaims to the waitress loud enough for anyone to hear " this MAN referred to us as bitches! Seriously! We giggle at small dicks once, when all men do is objectify us women and he has the gall to call us bitches!"
"Misogyny.little dick energy!" reverberated around the room. Meanwhile I slump in my seat in utter defeat hoping I disappear from this place as soon as possible.
The waitress and my girlfriend both look at me in stunned silence, with a mixture of shock and resentment.
"Right! I understand how everyone feels, as his mother I will discipline him like the old times."
My eyes widen and my jaw unhinged in utter shock, I desperately cried out "please, please not In public!"
Growing up, I've been spanked consistently when I've acted out of line and my worst punishments are done completely naked without a stitch on when I've been deemed a misogynist, and unfortunately this is one of them.
The waitress steps aside to allow my mom to stand up. She creaks the chair as she ascends, which now literally every one of the 20 patrons and 6 waitresses are staring in anticipation.
"Right. You know the drill, everything off but the underpants." states mom like it's a normal thing to say.
After not moving a budge at those words she literally screams to "TAKE. THAT. FUCKING. SHIRT. OFF. OR SO GOD HELP YOU!"