Chapter 1; Eileen's Story
My name is Tim Miller.
Before I get into my story I need to set the background.
First and foremost I am a nice guy. You know the type. I am the guy who coaches kids sports, helps out with scouts, works at science fairs, spends time with his family, and is fun at parties without scandal. I am well educated (a bachelors and two masters degrees) with a good job, and the provider for my family. My wife thinks I am a great husband, and as I do all the cooking, shopping and other non-traditional tasks, the neighborhood wives are always telling her I am a great find.
I am not an abusive person and I am very aware of other's feelings. I have never been pushy when it comes to sex and therefore I have never really moved beyond what my partner initiated. My style has always been my partner's pleasure first and then mine. Making someone else happy makes me happy; which puts me in the category of being a bit submissive.
Although all of the above is true, I have always had a deeper, darker side; however I wasn't confident enough, or should I say aware enough, to delve into it when I was younger. Somewhere in the back of my mind I always felt there was more to life and sex then what main stream society presented. Unfortunately I was brought up along the path which required a wife, house, kids, job, and to fulfill my role in society. And this I did; very well.
Fortunately the internet hit, and online porn and sex industry advertising gave me a venue to explore and understand more about what was really hidden within. Traveling on business allowed me to taste the offerings, and I did so with gusto. I'm not going to go into details about everything because it isn't the focus of the story; but I will say it took me about ten years of indulging in my part-time secret life to gain a real understanding of who and what I am sexually.
Briefly put, I am the submissive mentioned above. This doesn't mean I am milk-toast; but rather I am a pleasure giver and I truly derive my pleasure from fulfilling the needs of others. My ideal woman is a kind, humane, aggressive dominant. She is one who is not abusive in her control, for she knows her power over me is in her spiritual core. She is one who guides our play and ensures pleasure for all parties.
This woman appreciates me and allows me to be myself. I am not her dog on a chain because I am naturally attentive to her needs. I am not a piece of dung; but rather her jewel. Our relationship is deep for she is my Goddess whom I adore. We are soul mates.
Now for the sad part; as I developed my self-understanding I realized finding this woman was a dream because of my life style.
A few more words about my self-understanding: what really turns me on is intensity and desire. Through my varied experiences my style developed into Erotic Passion.
Erotic Passion covers all acts of the flesh. In essence it means ones' senses are overwhelmed with the power and emotion of lust. A scene is being performed because the person(s) performing it crave(s) the pleasure it brings to all parities. Thus fellatio from a wanton transvestite can be better than a blow job from a clock watching escort. It is HOW the act is done rather than WHAT is being done. Combining a powerful HOW and WHAT can be mind blowing.
I AM NOT PLAIN VANILLA; even in a plain vanilla environment!
Now for the good part: the story. Again, my name is Tim Miller. At the start of this story I am 47 years old. My eyes are blue; my hair is salt and pepper; my look youthful; and my build is athletically fit. I am considered handsome and extremely easy going.
******** There we were; face to face; just as I had once hoped and once dreamt about. But that was nearly three years ago without any contact in between. Still, a nervous sexual energy surrounded us. Was there going to be a first move? I knew Karen wanted me. I could see it in her eyes and body language. As much as I wanted her, I knew things were different now; we were no longer forbidden fruit. The flirts, the fantasies, the stolen moments of conversation were things of the past. Our next move was permanent and we both knew it.
Karen was in her mid forties with the energy and zest for life of someone much younger. She had a smile which could light up a room. If you were at a party and Karen walked in, things would jump up a notch. She would also be the last to leave; one of my characteristics, and the common trait which brought us together in the first place.
Physically Karen was attractive. Her shoulder length hair, parted on the side, was naturally brown with blonde highlights. She was a bit shorter, standing about five foot five, but her 'healthy' breasts made her height a non-issue as most eyes didn't focus on her height. Karen also dressed to ensure people didn't concentrate on her height.
Rounding out her physique was a delectable ass. Although she was the mother of two, Karen showed no signs of hippy-ness and the way her legs ran into her derrière kept my libido active. Many a stroke session centered on this asset of Karen's.
She also took great care of her skin and nails, a real turn. The sight of manicured nails always provides a spark of sexual energy. Perhaps it's a fetish, but the sound of nails tapping on a surface arouses me. Karen's nails were always perfect; extending about a quarter inch beyond her tips. She kept the ends squared.
Her accent colors were pink and light creams. Karen kept her lips, eyes, nails and toes coordinated at all times. The scheme went well with her doe colored eyes and soft, lightly tanned skin.
Back to how we met. It was nearly eleven years ago and it was through our kids; who matched in age, gender and activities. Our paths were always crossing, and the four of us (Karen, myself and our spouses) finally started carpooling as well as having dinners and cocktails together. Both of our spouses were early to bed types, so Karen and I would usually clean up and shut things down.
There was chemistry between us from the start. Our spouses saw it and even made jokes about it. We laughed too, but in our hearts there was a common lust. At no point however, did either of us make a move towards the other, although we did verbalize our attraction with phrases such as, "If we were only single" or "If our families weren't such good friends." The phrases were always accompanied by some laughter and longer than normal eye contact.
Things started going bad for Karen and Bill around the same time Mary left me.
Mary's leaving was a surprise and shock to everyone, except me. For years I lived a sex-less life. How we ever got together in the first place is still a mystery to me. I dated and bedded many a willing and wanton woman; but for some bizarre reason I thought I needed stability and purity in marriage. Mary filled the bill all too perfectly.
We had two children which put an end to sex; at least for Mary. I satisfied my urges whenever I could and often called upon my first sex partner, Rosie Palms. I did have opportunities at various times for an affair. Stopping me were all the horror stories about casual flings gone bad.
Early in our marriage I made a vow if Mary and I ever split, I would never again enter into a relationship in which my partner lacked a well developed sense of lust. Somewhere there had to be a very horny normal person. All I needed was some way for Mary to leave.
When Mary told me she was becoming a missionary, I did not try to stop her. She told me God was calling her and she needed to give up her worldly ways. We both cried, but for different reasons. The kids didn't know what to say and basically stood by both of us. Since they were older, it really didn't impact them all that much.
Socially I pulled away from Bill and Karen. They were having problems and I didn't want to be an influence on their lives. Interestingly enough, my attitude towards Karen seemed to change a bit. I still wanted her, but since I was without ties, I was free to explore the depths of lust I desired.
My first real relationship after Mary was with a woman I met online. After six months of the bar scene with various degrees of frustration and success, I tried an online service and responded to a posting from a woman named Eileen.