I finally read the last two entries. My heart sank when I learned what she and Trevor did at the party. I vividly remembered the day Abigail was born, counting all of her beautiful, perfect little toes to be sure they were all there. When she was a toddler, we would play "This Little Piggy" with them. Now those same toes were jerking off some future frat guy with the most offensive opinions and having his ejaculate licked off of them by a mindless bimbo. My heart ached for what was happening to my beautiful little girl.
More concerning still was her burgeoning attraction to Frank. For the life of me, I could not understand why a gorgeous young lady with her whole future ahead of her could be attracted to such an odious individual. Of course his equally odious son Jimmy was of the opinion that I was attracted to him. That was patently absurd. He was unabashedly misogynistic, exemplified by the fact that he brazenly groped my own daughter in front of me while she was unconscious!
I also felt a not insignificant amount of maternal guilt. Jimmy seemed to imply that he would have ceased his molestation earlier if I had spoken up, but I was in such a state of abject shock that I assumed my protestations would have been summarily ignored.
Furthermore, the next day I acted in a way that was befuddling to me. Abigail had actually decided not to drive William to his house and to stay home and rest instead. She was actively trying to avoid putting herself in a situation that might induce temptation. And yet I did something inexplicable. I encouraged her to go..
Surely, I did not want her to be anywhere near those awful people. Did I want to send a message to Jimmy? Impossible! We had already agreed never to see each other again- and never would be too soon. Maybe I was motivated by her tantalizing diary. As a professor of English literature, I was entranced by the captivating narrative of her inner struggle and turmoil. Several times a day, I checked obsessively for an update. A part of me selfishly just wanted this story to continue. But would that supersede a mother's innate, inviolable instinct to protect her own child?
No!! The only reasonable explanation was that I wanted to help her reduce stress by spending more time with her boyfriend- a feat she accomplished with aplomb, judging by the salacious details in her diary. Maybe I actually brought them closer together...
In any event, I had to wait until Wednesday before the next entry appeared.
Breathlessly, I read...
Entry 7
Nov 1, 2023
For the first time in my high school career, I stayed home sick on Monday. The nicotine withdrawal was so bad, I just laid in bed shaking and shivering. The only respite from the unrelenting thoughts of smoking were my unrelenting thoughts of sex. I spent most of the day pleasuring myself. I thought about William, of course, but also Trevor and Candace. Nothing, however, made me cum as powerfully as thinking about Frank.
I woke up Tuesday morning with quiet determination. I did not get to where I am academically without an abundance of willpower. Surely, I could bring this to bear in my resolve to avoid smoking- or any other temptation for that matter.
I dressed in my most elegant, scholarly apparel appropriate for the slightly chilly fall weather- a short sleeved white blouse with a taupe cardigan, and a knee length skirt with sheer pantyhose.
My first class was AP English, which I loved. We were reading Wuthering Heights, and I lost myself in the many twists and turns of Heathcliff and Catherine's tumultuous romance. My hand was in the air almost the entire time as Ms. Baker exhorted us to speak to the deeper symbolism at play. Young, beautiful and sophisticated, she made me think of what my mother must have been like as a young teacher.
Next came Honors Calculus, a class I didn't particularly enjoy but managed to do well in thanks to my work ethic, focus, and preternatural determination. It also helped that Henry was in the same class, since he was a math whiz who could help me fill in the gaps if there was anything I didn't understand.
The teacher Mr Plews was an old man who had probably been teaching at the school since my grandparents were in high school. As he droned on and on in his feeble, monotonous voice, my mind drifted off to my "assignment" from Frank. There was no way I would ever do drugs. The risk to my brain was too great. And alcohol was also out of the question, especially after my misbehavior at Trevor's party. The greatest vulnerability for me was smoking. I had gone two full days without a cigarette, but already I could feel the urge festering within me. God what I wouldn't give to have a cigarette between my lips right now.. to feel that warm smoke coursing through my lungs.
The only way I had managed to satiate this on Sunday was to stimulate my boyfriend- first with my hand, then with my mouth- all the while pretending his cock was a cigarette. The only boy I was friendly with in this class was Henry- my best friend's boyfriend. He had a crush on me in middle school. I found his nerdiness kind of cute, but he was always more of a math/science nerd whereas I was a history/literature nerd. And when I got together with William and he got together with Ashley, it was clear that we each had found the perfect match.
I could certainly never betray Ashley.. or William, but I needed to do something to keep me from running out of this interminable class and finding a cigarette to smoke by any means necessary. There was nothing wrong with some harmless flirting- especially if it would protect me from something far worse. I innocently allowed my shoes to slip off so that my pantyhose covered feet were free to teasingly brush against each other. I noticed Henry couldn't help but steal a glance in my direction. As I gently brushed my right foot up and down my left leg, I imagined myself seducing Henry when William and Ashley were away. I imagined that instead of rubbing my foot against my own leg, I was rubbing it against his leg. The whole time, I imagined myself smoking voraciously and blowing the smoke into his nerdy face. My panties were helplessly soaked as I lost myself completely in the fantasy.
At one point, Henry became so distracted that he knocked over one of his many extra pencils. Before he could retrieve it, I curled my toes around it and lifted my leg enough so that I could drop it in my hand. I then brushed my hand against his shoulder, whispered, "Here you go," and dropped the pencil on his desk with the others.
When the bell finally rang, I realized that I had not listened to a single thing old Mr Plews had said. I discretely slipped back into my shoes, smiled shyly at Henry, and left for my next class.
Luckily the next class, AP Government, was my favorite. I was passionate about the subject, and the teacher Mr Gadley was the best teacher at the school. In his recommendation letter for me, he had called me the most gifted student he'd ever taught. To top it off, Ashley was in the class.
The only unfortunate thing is that Trevor was in the class too. I was nervous to see him since our illicit tryst on Saturday. Of course those nerves made me want to smoke again. I took a seat in the front row next to Ashley, trying to distract myself in a healthier manner. We chatted about Early Decision apps. I needed to remember to do that. She was such a great friend. I felt immediately guilty about flirting with her boyfriend.
Then Trevor strode in just before the bell rang looking typically smug. Surprisingly, he walked right past me and took a seat next to Ashley. Ignoring me completely, he started chatting her up.
"Hiya Ash," he said flirtatiously.
"Hey," she replied neutrally. Why was she even giving him the time of day?
"You ready for the big test tomorrow?" he asked. Shoot!! I had completely forgotten about that. God, I needed a smoke.
"Of course," she responded. What the hell! Why was she talking to him? Didn't she have a boyfriend?
Luckily, Mr Gadley walked in and interrupted whatever the hell that was. I was so agitated I was about to pop.
"Good morning class. Today we are going to be discussing the makeup of the current Supreme Court and the role of politics in.."
My focus wandered. Ordinarily this was an issue I was very passionate about, but today I had a hard time thinking about anything other than smoking.. and Trevor. It had been so hot getting him off the other day. If I couldn't have a cigarette, maybe I could do that again.. Unfortunately Ashley was sitting right between us.
"I don't think there's any politics at all in the current court. They're originalists, trying to be as faithful as they can to the founder's original intent," Trevor opined confidently. God, he was sexy.
Ashley raised her hand to speak. "Number one, the founders considered enslaved people to be ⅗ of a person. Number two, even if we accept your premise, the 2nd amendment would only apply to the regulation of muskets. And number three, in the past 10 years Clarence Thomas has accepted over $2.4 million from right wing billionaires. If that's not politics and corruption at its worst, I don't know what is." Why was she being such a bitch, I thought as my mind drifted to thinking about Trevor's cock. I wonder what it tasted like?
