I landed a job as a programmer/analyst in the newly-formed financial research department of a large corporation. It happened pretty quickly, interviewing one week, offered the job the next week, and starting the week after that. They were advertising for all the positions at the same time and I was actually the first person they hired for the department because I had the exact experience they needed in a computer jock to get things rolling. I was glad to get the work since I had been unemployed for a few months, due in part to being in my mid forties. It was a good job no matter how you looked at it and I wasn't going to let anything make me turn it down.
On my first day, I had to do all the regular paperwork and whatnot you have to do when you start a new job. This included the employment physical in the company's own medical services department – their version of the "school nurse." I'd had employment physicals before and they were never a big deal. Basically, they just want to make sure you aren't going to keel over on your desk or spread the plague to the rest of the employees. I filled out all the papers and brought them back to the receptionist.
"Thanks, Mr. Thomas. Hold on a sec while I put all this together." She asked. As I waited, two women, one in a white lab coat and the other in regular street clothes came into the receptionist's area.
"I'm so happy you got the job here." the one in the lab coat said to the other.
"I'm really happy about it, too. I'm so glad we're working at the same company, it'll be like when we were in school."
"It will be!" Just then, the receptionist had my folder in order and asked me to follow her back to the exam room.
Once we were there, she told me to undress to my shorts and the nurse would be in to take my vitals. The nurse came a few minutes later and took my weight, height, blood pressure and all the other stuff the nurse does. I mentioned to her that this was already the most thorough employment physical I'd had. She told me that since the company was self-insured, it was policy to do a full physical for each new employee. I thought to myself: "
a full physical? Nobody at personnel ever mentioned it to me. Oh well, I haven't had one in a while, so I guess it's for the best
." The nurse finished what she needed to do and told me to have a seat on the exam table and the doctor would be in soon.
The exam room was a bit small, as most are. The head of the exam table was on the wall opposite the door. The table was placed so there was space for someone to stand on either side. I sat toward the end, facing the door as I waited.
A few minutes later, the two women I saw in the receptionist's area walked in. They were both in their early thirties, I would guess. The one in the lab coat was blonde and maybe five feet ten inches. The other was a redhead, a bit shorter than the first, but with bigger breasts. They were both fairly attractive.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Thomas, I'm Dr. Harrison," said the one in the lab coat, "and this is Dr. Whitmore. Dr. Whitmore is also a new hire." Well, this was most unusual! I've been examined by women before, but always just one at a time. But, I didn't want to make a fuss lest I jeopardize the job.
"How do you do, Doctors," I replied as I shook each of their hands.
"Well, then, we're backed up a bit today, so let's get started, shall we?" She began with the regular stuff – eyes, ears, throat, etc. Dr. Harrison asked me the standard questions while Dr. Whitmore just stood there next to Dr. Harrison and watched everything. I was starting to relax a little as the doctor was going through the exam rather quickly – I figured it would be over soon. Dr. Harrison moved behind me to do the "back thumping" and listen to my lungs. Dr. Whitmore stayed where she was in front of me.
"Okay, Mr. Thomas, could you please lay back on the table?" I did as she asked and she poked and pushed on my stomach, asking if I'd ever had this or that. I glanced at Dr. Whitmore a couple of times and she continued watching with no real expression. I thought that it was a bit strange that an obviously experienced doctor would have to observe an exam like a student, but I figured it was just so she could get a better idea of what the company expected. Anyhow, I figured the exam was just about over.
"OK, everything seems good so far." She said as she moved to the cabinet, "Now, could you please stand on the little stool at the end of the table and remove your underwear?" This is what I was afraid of! I knew I couldn't get out of it, so I slid to the end of the table and stood on the stool and waited while she was making notes on my chart. Dr. Whitmore moved to where she could continue watching.
Dr. Harrison glanced over at me just standing there, "Your underwear, please, Mr. Thomas," she reminded me as she went back to making notes. I hesitated a moment as I looked at Dr. Whitmore who looked back at me with an expression that seemed to say "You know you have to take your shorts down for this part". I haltingly pushed them down just enough to give access and stood there. Dr. Harrison finished making notes and looked at me again.
"I need you to take them off completely, Mr. Thomas," she said with a hint of impatience. I had never needed to remove my shorts completely for this part of the exam and was starting to get a little annoyed. Not only did nobody tell me there would be a complete physical, I had to have another woman watching me stand there completely naked while the doctor poked around my balls! But, again, I didn't want to make a fuss now – I figured that once I was established in the job, I could say something – if I still cared. So, I took my underwear off and put them on the table behind me. I couldn't look at Dr. Whitmore.
"Have you ever had a hernia?" Dr. Harrison asked as she put on a glove.
"No."
"How about any injuries?"
"No, no injuries."
"Any cysts, tumors or other growths?"
"No, I've never had any problems there."
"Any pain or burning when you urinate?"
"No."
"Ever have and STD?"
"No."
"Problems achieving or maintaining an erection?"
"No."
"Good. Let's get on with the exam, then," she said and put her fingers in my sack and did the "cough test." Dr. Whitmore just stood there and watched the entire thing.
"Do you know how to examine your testicles?" Dr. Harrison asked.
