I knew you were the one I was looking for the moment I saw you in the club.
You looked ill at ease as you danced with your friends while dressed in what could only have been stag night attire. Some people just don't feel comfortable in drag, I suppose.
I danced up to you and looked you in the eye before leaning in to talk into your ear.
"Snap," I said, just audible above the sound of the music.
You looked confused, so I gestured to your dress, then to mine. They weren't identical, but they were close enough. Leopard-print mini-dresses in stretch satin with see-through black panels from bust to neckline. Mine had a lace panel with cap sleeves while yours had a mesh one with long sleeves, but neither scored any points for modesty.
I'm a big woman, tall and broad-shouldered, and I wasn't surprised when you took my invitation to compare our dresses as a chance to stare at my chest. I wagged my finger at you. Naughty boy.
I took your hand and led you away from the group so I could talk to you somewhere quieter. I ushered you into an empty booth and put down the two bottles of alcopops I had in my hand.
I clinked my bottle against yours and you took a sip. This was going to be easy, I thought.
I let you do the talking. You chattered nervously about why you were wearing the dress, as if you needed somehow to justify it. It was your friend's stag do, of course, and you had met the rest of the men at the best man's house before coming out. You were a stranger to the city and didn't know the best man, but learnt quickly that he was a cocksure type, a medical graduate who knew the groom through their local rugby club. He explained that there were rules. The groom was to be in drag and everyone else had to back him up on his "last night of freedom".
The best man's girlfriend, a forthright woman with a fondness for leopard print herself, distributed the clothes. She sized you up carefully before handing you your dress and a piece of shiny black underwear that looked at first like cycling shorts. She was particular about you wearing them, and sent you back to the bathroom when you reappeared with only your boxer shorts beneath the dress.
"See how much better it is now?" she asked when you reappeared. She lifted the hem of the dress to demonstrate how the underwear, with its deep lace trim around the leg holes, better protected your decency. She said that she had bought most of the clothes from a charity shop, but you wondered from the possessive way she adjusted your new outfit whether she had chosen yours from her own wardrobe.