In previous stories I've expressed my annoyance about devotees and their way of communicating with disabled people, so It may come as a surprise that occasionally I am active in forums and chat rooms for devotees. Often I call out stupid comments or unreal expectations. I can be harsh and love to ruin unrealistic expectations or blunt stupidity and don't hesitate to point out my own not so appealing limitations. But... on the other hand i am also curious and intrigued.
In those online forums, as a wheelchair bound woman in her thirties I get quite some attention and to be honest most guys are not bad at all and of course i like attention too. But when it comes to my disability beside my lack of being able to walk most men are not interested. I like to make sure they know what bladder and bowel incontinence means, what it does to one's skin and intestines. The infections, pain and nasty discomfort that comes along with it. My thyroid issues which make me hold fat in irregular places and give me bumps and dents like a freak. The restraining water, in mainly my legs and face, that blows up my body and does the rest to my delicate skin.
If by now you are still reading you must be a hard core devotee or just interested in what I have to say. So here comes the actual story. One of the guys in the forum who didn't back up when I revealed my most horrific issues was Martin.
Martin was very honest himself and quickly revealed he was authistic up to a severe level. Person to person he could not talk unless he knew someone for an extended period of time and only online communication was more or less possible on order to have a social life. While chatting it appeared to me he wasn't actually searching for a disabled woman, he just thought disabled women would be more understanding and probably he would have a better chance. One thing was clear, he was, and still is constantly horny.
The fact that he was chatting with a woman made him horny and he usually masturbate in the mean time. To be honest it took a while before I got used to it and at first he just left the chat room without further notice. Everyone else, who would tread me like that I would never ever get in touch with again but Martin was different. At some point we started having voice chat. Martin didn't say hardly anything but my voice was enough to make him crazy and most of the time all I heard from him was moaning and sighing. To my surprise I liked that and more often I checked if he was online and often he was.
Martin is a vulnerable man and I felt I had to protect him for ... well I don't know, false expectations, a wrong look at women, abled or disabled. So I shared my unflattering issues, my pain and depressions but also my longings. But instead of pulling back he opened up about his own issues and our relationship deepened. He told me about his anger and how he wasn't able to control himself. Leaving him often with broken limbs after kicking a wall or anything solid out of frustration. His inability to understand basic physical signals which often left him incontinent or drooling, or enduring pain in an almost inhuman way.
After a few months the unthinkable, for both of us, happened, we decided to have a video call. I prepared my camera to be completely visible. There is not much to see rather than a face anyway because my legs are always in a wheelchair cover, up to my middle and I usually wear a wide blouse, skirt or sweater. From Martin's side only his face was visible in my display.
I saw quite quickly Martin was stroking himself. Not able to react to this, I was silent myself. He didn't expect me to act like a chatroom porn actress, my visible presence was enough for him to touch himself. I liked what I saw. Martin is a handsome man, almost 10 years older than me, with a freckled face and beautiful blue eyes which are hard to fathom. For a few minutes all his senses were concentrated in his penis. My appearance was absorbed to feed blood to his groin. He came intensely, in a way that made me jealous. When he was ready I was afraid he would disconnect but luckily he didn't. He overcame his shame and waited for my reaction. I tried to speak light hearted, not to sound too enthusiastic but honest about the joy that my sheer looks triggered so in him.
Later on we agreed to do a mutual masturbation session. I don't have any feeling down below but i like to use a vibrator, to feel the vibration come up from the downside, the numb part of my body. To caress, stroke and massage my breasts. And fantasize about a man enjoying and using my body and appearance for his sexual pleasure. Martin is handsome to look at which made it even more pleasant and appealing.
With hesitation I showed my privates and my breasts to the camera. Loosen my own fears and taboos and after a long time enjoying my body once again. We did it more often after that first time and I started to get feelings for Martin. I was determined to meet in public although I knew it would take a lot of effort.
We live about 200 km from each other. Martin would not be able to travel that far and obviously for me it would also be a hassle. But there is a good railway connection and a few months ago I took my chance. Martin agreed to pick me up from the railway station and we would have 3 to 4 hours to be together.
