Hallowed Be Thy Bowels

A bit of Kinktober naughtiness. Enjoy!

On Friday evening, Jane Murphy went to St, Mary's church for confession. There was never anyone else in the church at this time and that suited her and the priest Father Mike, just fine. "Plain Jane, she never complains," was what others nicknamed her. A quiet mouse who worked as a librarian and was a good Catholic. Jane was almost forty but looked younger than her years. Love and relationships had always eluded her...until Father Mike had become the new parish priest. Mid-fifties and an average looking man, but sweet Jesus, there had been a burning attraction right from the start, and it wasn't long before the two of them were sinning on a weekly basis. There was truth in that old saying, "beware the quiet ones."

Jane entered the confessional and closed the door. As she sat down, she made the sign of the cross. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It's been one week since my last confession," she said. When Father Mike replied, her heart leapt.

"Unburden your soul upon me," he whispered, causing her to shudder.

Jane nodded, knowing full well what he was expecting her to say. "Well Father, I have had some very impure thoughts about a holy man. A priest."

She could hear him unfastening his cassock, and knew at once that he was pleasuring himself.

"Go on, my child..." Feeling uncomfortably hot, he jettisoned his cassock, feeling less restricted in his black shirt and trousers.

Jane was fingering herself as she continued. "I fantasised about getting my hands on the priest's hard, erect cock...I think the priest would enjoy that a great deal..."

"Oh God....he would," came Father Mike's breathless reply.

Suddenly, a loud fart interrupted things. Father Mike coughed with embarrassment. "Sorry about that," he muttered. His stomach had been a little unsettled all day. Last night, he and a couple of other priests had dined at the Golden Elephant, a popular Indian restaurant. Father Mike loved a good curry...perhaps that curry had proved a little too spicy for his hallowed bowels to deal with?

Jane smiled. "Better out than in, Father. So as I was saying, I wanted to caress the priest's cock and..."

Father Mike farted again, and a disagreeable smell wafted through the confessional booth.

"Are you alright, Father?" She'd never heard him fart before and it sounded like his gut had enough gas in it to fill a blimp.

"Oh God I'm so sorry. Something I ate has been disagreeing with me!" He massaged his abdomen, as cramps assaulted him.

"What did you eat?" He sounded like he was in discomfort.

"A curry that had the Devil in it," came his reply. "Jane, please excuse me...I'll be right back!"

Father Mike leapt up and hurried to the toilet which was right next door to the booth. It was a tiny room, and he'd had it built in as a sort of emergency loo, given that the other toilets were a good five minute walk away in the church hall. Hurrying inside, he shut the door, but didn't lock it. He fumbled with his belt, trouser button and zipper. The cramps were assaulting his belly hard now and he was bursting to go. Father Mike lowered his white underpants and trousers and without further delay, sat down on the toilet seat. He barely had time to get comfortable, when he felt a massive turd slide out and splash into the bowl.

He let out a sigh. The relief felt so good. Father Mike was finally able to relax and unload. He shifted his position slightly, getting more comfortable, and pushed his underpants a bit further down.

What he'd failed to account for was the fact that in the silence of the empty church, his bowel movement was audible from outside. Sat in the confessional booth, Jane could hear everything. Plop, plop. He moaned. Then a very loud plop, followed by a sigh of relief.

The sound of him shitting really turned Jane on, and she longed to do something she'd only heard of thanks to Urban Dictionary.

"I'd love to give him a blumpkin. I wonder if he'll let me?"

Father Mike's dump showed no sign of ending. Another log was eagerly trying to escape. But this one was, as he termed it a "bit of a hole-stretcher." Father Mike gave a little grunt. It was hurting a little...God in Heaven! He hadn't reckoned on shitting as much as this. Still, no need to rush. Jane would understand. The big turd was sliding out slowly. He moaned.

Glancing to the side, a look of horror appeared on Father Mike's face.

There was no toilet paper on the holder!

"Oh no!"

He looked all around. No spare rolls anywhere!

"Damn!"

There was a knock on the door. "Please may I come in, Father?"

He froze. Why on earth did she want to come in? "I'm fine." He mumbled, embarrassed. But his curiosity got the better of him and he relented. "Um...well you can come in if you want, but I warn you, the smell in here is terrible."

Jane didn't hesitate, and immediately opened the toilet door and hurried inside. The wonderful sight of Father Mike sat on the toilet with his underpants and trousers round his ankles, greeted her.

He blushed crimson. "Sorry about this Jane...I'm sure I'll be finished in a bit. I couldn't wait..."

She moved to reassure him immediately and knelt before him. "I can't wait either. I love you, Father. Will you let me worship you?" She reached for his cock and began stroking it.

"What, you want to...while I'm...?"

Jane nodded. "You just keep doing your thing." She stared for a moment at his rock hard cock, then lowered her head and took him into her mouth. He moaned softly, and placed his hand on the back of her head. She ran her tongue up and down his shaft, tasting every inch of him. She savoured him, as she swirled her tongue around the head of his cock. He felt so good in her mouth, tasted so perfect.

"Uhh..." Father Mike closed his eyes as he experienced pleasure from front and back. He dropped two more logs, soft ones this time. The smell of his shit was dreadful, but Jane didn't seem bothered at all. She continued sucking him hard and he looked at her in wonder; this had to be the most bizarre and arousing experience he'd ever had.

Jane stood up, hiked up her skirt, slid her panties round one leg and straddled the priest. Father Mike kissed her hard. As he forced his tongue into her mouth, he teased her by rubbing her swollen clit with the head of his cock. Jane moaned, and he eased his aching rod into her dripping pussy. He held her body tightly and began to slowly fuck her. He farted again, but neither of them noticed this time.

"Oh God Father yes!" Jane begged. She thrust her hips to meet his. She had never had any one fill her the way this priest did, and she never wanted him to stop.

"My Jane...my angel! My love!" Father Mike groaned back. His breathing became more rapid and he knew he was about to come. He let out a low groan that was nearly a growl and gave one last thrust, his cock erupted, swelling and ejaculating his thick creamy load in three, no four great glorious spurts. That wasn't the only eruption. Seconds later, Father Mike's rectum finally released the last of his shit, and a rush of diarrhoea shot from his hole like a fire hose.

Father Mike reclined on the toilet as Jane massaged his belly. Never had a dump felt so good.

"Guess your balls aren't the only things that are empty now, Father?" Jane smiled, as they embraced. "I enjoyed that so much. I'd wanted to give you a blumpkin for a long time."

The word was unknown to him. "A what?"

"Blumpkin." She explained it to him.

"Oh, right. Well you've no idea how much I enjoyed that blumpkin, Jane...wow. You truly are someone special." He meant every word. She was unique. Not many women would've willingly done what she'd just done. He hoped she'd do this again. Suddenly, going to the loo had become a thrilling experience. Maybe next time she'd be interested in holding his cock whilst he pissed?

Jane looked at the massive amount of steaming shit he'd deposited in the toilet. "That's quite an offering you've made to the Holy Throne, Father Mike. Now just what are you going to use to wipe yourself with?"

"No toilet roll in here. Do you have a tissue?"

"No I don't but, I have something better." She gave the priest a wicked grin.

"Praise the Lord," Father Mike blinked, crossing himself as he realised what she was going to do...