Janey had done her research on gypsy ladies and knew, thanks to the internet, that they granted wishes, worked from outlandishly coloured and decorated tents within circuses and always turned up mysteriously when things were going wrong to deliver a moral lesson that would put any errant wish-maker back on the straight and narrow.
That was mostly why she was stood in front of a garish, outlandishly decorated tent in a quiet corner of the circus enclosure, nervously dry-washing her hands while a sleeping hippo the other side of a low barrier farted noisily and repeatedly.
The tent wasn't what she had imagined though. The fabric was a soothing, faintly office-like beige colour, festooned liberally with what looked like early nineties clip-art in complicated and baroque fashion. The sign itself was a chalkboard by the entrance covered in neat, eminently legible hand-writing proclaiming, 'Miss Fortuna's Consultancy -- Palmistry, Family Planning, Proofreading, Fortune Telling and Financial Advice"
It seemed legit.
/////
Clara Fortuna sat behind her small table and blew gently on her finger nails to puff away the fine dust left by the emery board. It was a quiet day at the office and she knew that the whole wishes and fortunes thing was going to be on ice until there was some rerun of a paranormal action/romance on the networks again. Sighing, she pulled a heavy tome labelled, "Spreadsheets for 2nd Tier Financial Analysis -- For Dummies" and pulled it open at her bookmarked location.
Pushing her glasses up her nose and squinting, Clara leaned in and began reading, her business-like ponytail tickling her neck as she absently adjusted her suit jacket to sit more comfortably. There was a rustle which she ignored, looking over "Integrated Formulae and Data Tables" as she hummed to herself idly and listened to the general low-level roar of the circus.
She turned a page.
"Ahem," a small voice breathed into the quiet.
Clara turned another page and idly raised a hand to point at a silver hotel-style bell, sitting dented and much-abused on the red velvet of the table cloth.
The ping was not as loud as one might expect, but Clara sat up, closing her book and turning around to put it on the low shelf behind her, the only other furniture in the tent apart from a single brightly painted stool. Facing her guest, she gestured amiably at the other seat and smiled a bright, professional smile.
"Miss Fortuna, at your service ma'am."
The girl opposite was mousey... really mousey, in every sense, but Clara was a seasoned practitioner and too long in the tooth to judge by appearances. Still, the customer was diminutive, pale, hunched and no great fashion statement.
Clara had to suppress an inward groan as she saw this scenario in her mind... this was going to be another, "Like [insert favourite actress/model], but hotter!"
She hated these ones.
/////
Janey pulled out her piece of paper and cleared her throat, looking up at the weird gypsy woman who looked like a solicitor or an accountant or something. She looked down again and scanned her list of Items That She Must Not Forget To Mention.
She frowned as she felt those lovely dark eyes on her, the horn-rim spectacles the gypsy woman wore magnifying her pretty eyes slightly.
"Ah," Janey hazarded, "you're a real gypsy, right?"
Miss Fortuna's lips thinned briefly, but she nodded courteously, "Yes, I am."
Janey nodded back, unconvinced, and scanned her paper again, desperately running through her mental checklist of Gypsy Things.
"Er, I don't see a crystal ball or anything..." she trailed off, feeling embarrassed.
Miss Fortuna frowned then, an eyebrow shooting up in pique, before turning to her low shelf and addressing Janey once more, an object in hand. The gypsy woman put it down with a heavy thump and leaned back, crossing her arms. It was a snow globe, inside of which was a cheery diorama of a deliriously happy otter wiggling it's way under the (miniature) Golden Gate Bridge to the legend, "Much Happening of San Francisco is Coolness!"
Janey supposed the glyph lettering in permanent marker adorning the dome of the snow globe was the Chinese equivalent of "surplus".
"Crystal ball," Miss Fortuna said tersely as Janey inspected it.
"Oh."
/////
Clara watched the girl (she had to be college age, but not much more) as she returned to her perturbed study of the rumpled list held in both hands.
"Can I have my wish now, Miss Fortuna?" she asked timidly.
"It's Clara to you ma'am," Clara purred, amicability returning, "what's your name?"
"Janey."
"What's your wish, Janey?"
"Are you sure you're a proper gypsy woman, Clara, you seem kind of different..."
Clara felt her face freeze in a rictus of a smile and took a moment to compose her response, her annoyance warring with the urbane civility she had cultivated as the CEO, secretary and sole staff member of Gypcorp.
"Janey, my parents and I both thought that a university education was no impediment to sufficiently good gypsy-ing and I have come to believe that my proactive, modern management methods have given my clients the quality of service and positive long-term outcomes that they appreciate and value."
/////
Janey sat there for a second, baffled by the corporate jargon and wishing that this attractive, sexy looking gypsy woman would just put on some silks, spray herself with incense and take this whole fucking thing seriously. Janey felt that this professional, neat looking woman was subverting the whole deal. Not even a silly accent in evidence.
"Ah, ok then..." she started.
"Go on," Clara prompted, a little sourly, Janey thought.