She was without a doubt the most difficult woman I ever had the misfortune to be tangled up with. Stubborn, opinionated, and too damn smart for her own good, Marie was high maintenance. I should have ditched her as soon as I realized what sort of trouble she was, but by then it was too late. I had been captivated by her beauty, drawn in by her strangely diffident manner, then held in thrall by that amazing paradox of fire and velvet which was Marie.
She claimed to carry royal blood from her Central African heritage, and when the mood was on her, she had a queenly air about her. At other times, she would speak of her duty toward me as my woman, and her need to serve me and make me complete. While I enjoyed the benefits of her softness toward me (and oh, how I enjoyed them), there was always that background of arrogance and self-possession which could burst into a cold fire of disdain when she felt I had somehow not measured up to an undeclared standard deep in her mind.
When she stared at me with those dark eyes burning with fury, her head held high, and her entire body radiating determination and power, I could almost believe her claim of royal lineage, although her pale coffee complexion, nearly straight black hair and fine facial features spoke of some admixture of heritage. At the time I saw it as dilution, but later, as she unleashed her powers on me, I came to recognize it as a synergy . A combination of the secret forces of many cultures.
And when the fury passed, the make-up sex was beyond anything I had ever experienced. She knew tricks which took me to the edge of release, then brought me back again. Over and over again - driving me deeper into a sexual frenzy until finally, that cataclysmic moment of release, when the ragged edges of raw emotion and sexual desire dissolved into a sense of peace and well-being. And through it all, her gentle words, her little gasps, affirming that I was the most charming, the strongest, the most handsome man in the world, and that she was my woman taking her rightful place beneath me to meet my needs.
Oh, how I wish I had run away. I was outclassed, but by the time I realized it I was incapable of escape - I was as firmly held in Marie's sweet web as any fly waiting to be consumed by a spider. I didn't recognize it at the time - I was too busy being pleasured by a beautiful, intelligent woman... or else being scolded by that same woman.
She would take exception to something that I said or did, and in a cold, hard voice explain what I had done wrong and demand an apology. Often I had to admit deep inside that she was right, but it was her manner that got to me. Cold, and hard - always logical and articulate; always perfectly controlled.
This was something I had never encountered before in a woman, and I didn't know how to deal with it. So, as she got angry with me, I got angry with her. Unlike hers, though, my anger wasn't cold or logical - it was a white hot rage. I would argue with her, then as she ran rings around me with her words, I would become so furious that I could barely string my own words together.
I will never forget the first time I lost control. It was a Friday afternoon - a shocking day to end a shocking week. I was tired and frustrated, and had picked Marie up from the newspaper offices where she worked, heading back toward her cottage in the outer suburbs of the city. On the edge of town, some guy, for reasons known only to himself, placed his front fender about a yard behind my rear and followed me down the street. I fumed. I cursed. I ranted. And all the time, Marie was telling me calmly to let it go, to ignore it. Finally, I swerved the car off the road and killed the motor, leaning across to yell in her face, "Marie, idiots like that are the reason the road toll is so damn high. They kill people. And you tell me to ignore it! Well, how can I when he is placing my life in danger? And you just sit there without giving me any support, and then you take his damn side. You are as much a part of the problem as he is. How can you be so stupid?"
I think it was the last sentence that crossed the line. Marie stared at me as if I was a particularly unattractive maggot which had just crawled out of her salad, and spoke with a dangerous quietness. "Michael, the people who harm others on the roads are foolish little men who are unable to control their tempers. Ranting and swearing at other road users achieves nothing. Failing to control your own temper makes you even more of a problem than that other driver. And by behaving like a spoiled child while you are driving, you are placing us both in danger. I suggest you think clearly about which one of us is behaving stupidly, and while you are doing that, please also consider why you need to address me in such a threatening and contemptuous manner, because I am not prepared to be either threatened or treated with contempt. Now, I am going to find my own way home, and I do not want to speak to you for a while."
With that, she picked up her bag and stepped out of the car. Without a backward glance, I pulled back into the traffic, leaving her beside the road. I am sorry to admit that her little speech and reasonable tone only served to make me angrier than ever, and I really don't remember a lot of that weekend, aside from a monumental hangover on Sunday and a pervading sense of regret which seemed to increase as the hangover receded. How could I have been such a fool? And more to the point, how could I have left Marie by the freeway and driven off? I must have called her cellphone a hundred times, the calls always falling through to her cheery invitation to leave a message, leaving me to conclude that she had either been kidnapped and murdered, or that she was ignoring my calls. I prayed it was the latter, and feared it was the former, spending much of the evening parked outside her empty house anxiously hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Finally I was rewarded on Monday morning when she called and invited me to meet her for lunch.
Lunch was pleasant and polite, with a little reserve on both sides. Marie told me that she was very disappointed with me - a sentiment I was feeling myself. Although I apologized profusely, and she accepted my apology, she stared at me with a quiet intensity as she delivered her ultimatum. "Michael, I like you very much, but will never again be spoken to in the way you did on Friday. I am happy enough to forgive your little tantrum and put it behind us, but if you ever again speak to me with contempt or in a threatening manner, I promise you will regret it."