I left Tim's with a card in my pocket that could either transform or ruin my life. Did I want to learn what Alex had promised or should I run the other way. The appointment was two days from now, so I had time to think about what I really wanted to do. Returning home I found a note on the bed and an empty closet. The note read, "You are a good person but I need more than a man who has no sex drive and can't satisfy my needs. You make a better celibate monk than a husband. I need a real man and not a shadow of one. I am leaving. Love, Ellen."
At that minute I felt totally worthless as person who didn't count for much. Suicide crossed my mind but I was too strong for that. Today may open a new chapter in my life but I did not know what that would mean. My first thought was to get a divorce and then start dating again. After so many years, I wasn't sure how to start. The reality of pleasing a woman sunk in and I wondered what woman would ever want a man that could not perform and meet her needs. Depressed, I opened a beer and sank into a chair very depressed. I wasn't a man but an empty, worthless shell of one. Remaining in that dark mod for a day, it became clear some sort of change in my life was needed but what?
I wanted to take a shower and the card Tim had given me with Alex's address and appointment fell out of my pants pocket. Picking it up and the arguments in my heard started all over again. I am not gay and I like women. I don't know if following this uncertain path would in happiness and fulfillment? On the other hand, what did I have to lose? I have the most satisfying sex since my operation with Tim and Lois. They didn't think I was gay or strange. I am not pervert so what could be wrong in exploring what Alex suggested. I always can walk away.
My appointment was for Thursday afternoon at 2:00 PM. Fumbling for my car keys I started the car and put the address into my GPS. The trip took about 30 minutes and lead me to a small strip shopping center on the Gandy Causeway. The address was for the last building space in the center. Entering the building I was greeted by an older woman.
"Hi, I have a 2:00 PM appointment with Alex."
Smiling the woman said, "Yes, he is expecting you. I will let him know you are here." With that she left her desk and moved to the back of the building. While waiting, I nervously sat in a straight back chair. The thoughts raced through my head about leaving but I stayed.
In a few minutes Alex came out and welcomed me. "James, it is great to see you. I know you are nervous and most of my clients are when they first come here but in a short time you will feel relaxed and comfortable. I want to come back into our orientation room."
The "orientation room" was the largest space in the building. A large comfortable chair similar to the ones in a nail salon was located next to a large sink. An open shower was immediately next to the sink. A massage table stood opposite the chair. Closets lined the fair wall. The lights were dim and the temperature was bit cooler than the rest of the space.
"Liz will be your instructor and assistant for the next few hours. Do as she instructs and relax. This will be a life changing day." With that Alex left the room.
Liz was the woman who greeted me when I arrived. She was in her 50's. I guessed she was 5ft 6 inches tall, weighed somewhere around 200 lbs and had a commanding presence.
"Ok James, I am going to take charge and I want to you follow all my instructions without question. Some of this may seem strange but I know what I am doing and later you will know that I am an expert. Now strip and give me all your clothes."
Being naked with strangers had always made me uncomfortable so I hesitated for a minute. Liz's stern look and then a gentle comment, "Come on Sweetie you have nothing to be afraid of and I have seen many, many naked men and women over the years. So get those clothes off." This put me at ease enough to take all my clothes off.
Handing everything including my watch and wedding ring (which I still wore) to Liz I felt a sudden sense of surrender. Everything I had worn in to the building went into a large plastic trash bag. She said softly, "You won't need these today.'
As I stood there Liz began to look at me like an artist getting ready to create a new sculpture from a block of marble. "Very nice, you look very nice and have a beautiful body. The only imperfection I see is your small, limp cock." She grabbed my cock and began to stroke it. Nothing happened no erection only the soft, unsexy appendage hanging between my legs.
Embarrassed by my lack of performance, I tried to apologize and pull away. Liz scolded me, "Yes, you have lost your manhood and can't satisfy a woman but that does not mean you are worthless or you do not have sexual needs. You are not the first person I have changed from a depressed, self-hating, worthless feeling man into a vibrant sexual being. You just have to trust me and let go of all your old ideas about what is sexy."