The door slammed. âMarty, is that you?â My head was buried beneath her kitchen sink playing pinball with the bottles of cleaning products.
âI swear if Gina stands me up one more time I am going to get a new tennis partner.â
I had been over at Martyâs house installing an under the sink hot water tap. Martyâs husband, who Iâd taken to calling Mozart, was hopeless. He couldnât screw in a Phillipâs head screw if his life depended on it because heâs scared to death of injury to his hands. Mike is a piano player in a bar and wedding covers combo. Marty stood over me and I took the opportunity to scan her beautiful legs from this low angle. Marty followed my eyes up to hers. She gave me a peculiar look.
âMaybe I can help you.â
âThanks, but I am just about finished. I love the company though. Youâre certainly improving my view.â
âWhy thank you, Freddy. We aim to please. Is the water on?â Marty said as she stepped closer to me to reach for the spigot.
Waterâs on; all joints tested tight. No leaks.â
âHmmm, are you sure about that?â I donât know if she was being cautious or just giving me a long look but she opened the tap to the slowest trickle and ran the water over her fingers.
âMarty, could you turn on both taps like that? Iâll snoop around for any leaks I might have missed.â
Marty laughed softly, âIâll bet you will.â
From my position I had an unobstructed view of Martyâs gorgeous lower carriage. Even though the install was done I fiddled with this and that to maintain my point of view. Marty squeezed her thighs together like a little girl and leaned forward over the sink giving me an improved look.
âFreddy, Hurry up this warm water is making me have to pee. Then youâll really have a leak on your hands.â
Marty heard my under-my-breath comment. âWhat was that, Freddy?â
âNothing, Marty.â
âNo, Freddy. You said something. What did you say?â
I sighed. She kneeled down beside me; she softly held my chin in her wet hand and turned my eyes up to hers. âFreddy, what did you say when I said the warm water was going to make me have to pee? I really want to know.â
âI said, donât tempt me.â
Marty held my eyes for a long pause; She seemed lost in thought then she slowly stood up and stepped back so we could maintain eye contact.
âFreddy, Iâve got a deal for you.â
âUh huh
âYou know how we feel about each other? I mean you know you have always liked me. You flirt with me continuously. Youâve done it since we first knew each other.â
âThatâs simple, Marty, You are a beautiful woman.â
âThank you Freddy but I mean you feel strongly about me donât you?â
âYes, Marty. I feel strongly about you. Where is this going? You want to elope?â
âThat sounds nice, Freddy but I donât think Mike or Greta would appreciate that.â The mention of my wife brought an ice icicle of reality to the situation. My flirting had gotten me into enough trouble over my married years.
âHmmm. Okay then, just a simple little affair. You know, Tuesday afternoonsâlittle cheesy motel, maybe handcuffs and a blindfoldâ
âFreddy stop joking about this; I am serious. Iâve known you along time. Weâve been through a ton together. You stuck with me through my divorce. Christ, I lived with you and Greta for a year till I got back on my feet. I think of you as ⌠my big brother.â
âOh greatâŚyour brother.â All my life Iâve always been great at establishing plutonic friendships with the best looking women I know. Call me lucky⌠Call it a knack.
âWell not a blood brotherâmore like a sole brother.â
âOkay, I like that better. Just call me Da Godfatha or Papa. âI Feel Goodâ. I started beat boxing a few bars of James Brownâs âLike A Sex Machine.â
Just as I was beginning to dig the damp, moldy acoustics inside the cabinet Marty snapped me out of my rhythm. âFreddy. Listen to me.â
âOK Mart, What do you have in mind?â
âFreddy, You know how youâre attracted to me?â
âWha-what?â
âOh come on, itâs so obvious. You have always behaved around me like âŚlike you like me.â
âI do like you, Marty. I have always liked you.â
âNo. I mean like youâŚwant me. âŚLike you want to fuck me.â
Iâd known her for years and she could still stop me cold with these fowl balls. Marty was so pretty and wholesome; you would never expect it when she would drop a show-stopper like this.
âFuck!â cracking my head on the trap pipe; stars circling before my eyes, âMarty! Marty, wait a minute; where is this going?â
âFreddy, You are frustrated. You want to have sex with me; I know that. Iâm frustrated too.
SoâŚyou want to have sex with me; why didnât you just say that? -- Never one to let a gambit go un-played.
âNo, well⌠yes, but it wouldnât work. We both have too much to âŚâ
âBingo! And that is why I flirt with you, Marty. Itâs as close as Iâll ever get to fucking you. Itâs like getting to have all the fun without any of the âŚemotional calories. â
âDo you ever jerk off to me, Freddy?â
My head took another bounce off the side of the cabinet. âWhat?â
You knowâDo you ever fantasize that you are âŚwith me while youâre playing with yourself?
âahhhh, No.â
âOh, that was convincing. You have never lay in bed and stroked your cock thinking about me?â
âUnh uh. I mean not that I donât find you incredibly sexy⌠If I thought about you that way.â