Lucy's fingers were shaking as she sent the text, so she was relieved when Julian replied immediately.
Lucy: Can you babysit tonight? Julian: Sure. xx
On the bus home from work, Lucy smiled down at the exchange, as if making sure it was still there. She nodded at her elderly neighbors as she got into the elevator, unlocked the door to her unit and found the empty space exactly as she'd left it. Lucy did not have children.
She was standing on her cold bathroom tiles, unbuttoning her blouse when another text from Julian chimed: Remember our rules.
As if she could forget. Julian had listed the three rules that kept their arrangement within an acceptable range of...well, acceptability. Lucy frowned, exiting the app because she'd already read the rules enough to have them memorized. She replaced her austere grey pencil skirt with worn comfortable jeans, and the sticky sheer blouse with a soft t-shirt. Underneath (even though she knew Julian would have no way of knowing) she knew it wouldn't be right to wear the lacy undergarments that had hugged her 27-year-old figure all day. She had peeled them off, to be replaced with simple cotton underwear and a bralette.
Her hair, subjected to the city's wind tunnels all day as she dashed from one client meeting to the next was now a windblown mess. Her ex husband used to love those long tangles, which was exactly why lately Lucy opted for a cut just above her shoulders. Now, she hastily tied it back. Lastly, she wiped subtle lines and smudges of makeup off her face.
I'm late, Lucy whispered to herself, rushing to the door and almost slipping in her socks on the hardwood. She steadied herself on the small table by the door, and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her face was framed by tendrils of hair that had already escaped her ponytail. The final product was barely recognizable since she looked so much younger.
As she darted through the it's-still-rush-hour traffic on her bike, Lucy anxiously turned over Julian's rules in her mind, (in the same way she used to absently twist her wedding ring on her finger when she was thinking). In her mind's eye, Lucy saw the document Julian had created last year. The note was short enough that it could have fit on a post-it or two. The Rules: 1. No talking about the past. 2. Nothing sexy. 3. No nudity. Lucy thought about how Julian liked to claim he was a simple man, but those rules betrayed how deeply he had thought about the implications before allowing himself to be her sometimes caregiver.
Lucy's rusty trusty bike came to a sudden stop in Julian's driveway, and she leaned it against the wall in the garage, in too much of a hurry to turn back when she heard it fall. She let herself in, left her sneakers and jacket on the floor, and peeked around the corner to see he was in the kitchen putting away groceries.
"Lucy?" He called. "I'm in the kitchen."
She smiled, watching him a moment longer before zipping into the kitchen and hugging him. He turned to face her, smiling and kissing her forehead. "Hi Princess. What do you want to do today?"
This was a coded question. Usually when she asked him to "babysit" her, she just needed a distraction. A couple hours watching a movie or playing video games together to take her mind off a stressful day as a legal consultant. But some days her therapeutic needs went beyond this. Julian didn't mind rocking her in his lap when she cried, or reading to her and staying nearby until she could sleep peacefully. This arrangement was safe for her because, as per rule #1, he never asked for details.
Julian lifted her to sit on the counter while he continued putting cans in the cupboard and fresh produce in the fridge.
"I think I want to take a bath..." Lucy watched hesitation build in Julian's body, knowing this request was dangerously close to rule #3.
He recovered and turned to face her, smiling. "Of course. You can do it yourself, can't you? You're a big girl."
Lucy nodded, hiding her disappointment. They had never decided on details for this roleplay, and Julian didn't like to break character to discuss such things. He would let things play out however she needed, as long as it didn't cause him to compromise his values.
"Go upstairs and turn the water on. I'll come up in a minute and check the temperature for you."
"Okay." Lucy slid off the counter.
"I'm making spaghetti. Your favourite."
Upstairs, Lucy turned on both faucets and removed her jeans and t-shirt. In accordance with the nudity rule, her panties and bralette stayed on. Looking for the bubble bath bottle, she climbed onto the sink and went through the neatly organized cabinets. A moment later when Julian knocked and entered the bathroom, his eyebrows shot up when he saw her form. But, he turned his attention to the bath, kneeling beside it and adjusting the taps. Without a word, he turned back to the door while she poured out the contents of the bottle, then slid feet-first into the tub. "The spaghetti must be cooked by now," he murmured. "I better go check if it's time to add the vegetables...."
"Wait."
Slowly, Julian turned to meet Lucy's eyes. She was now submerged in a sea of foam, and the hazy steam hung in the air between them. Tiny water droplets clung to her skin above the water.
"Yes, my dear," Julian replied patiently, but Lucy could she he was getting antsy.
"When you come back...you'll wash my back, right? And help me dry off?"