Mother was queer. That's what everyone used to call it when a woman lived with a woman. Donna was a few years younger than Mom was. She moved in when I was a senior in high school. She didn't have any legs.
We lived in a large town in a large downtown flat in a tall building. The elevator was an essential part of Donna's ability to do things. They worked in a large insurance office doing accounting. Lunch would often find them heading to the Top Hat, an iconic coffee shop with stools along the counter and booths along the window facing the sidewalk. They would share one side of a booth; hold hands, chat, dream, and watch people walk by on the way to who knows where.
I never thought much about their sex lives. Mine developed slowly. I don't know why. In high school, I dated a few girls, a guy, and satisfied myself alone in bed at night. No relationship lasted long. I filled my time with studies and graduated at the top of my class. Having several universities in our town allowed me to continue living at home while going to college. It also gave me a chance to stare at Donna as my new fantasy.
My Monday schedule packed my classes together, all much harder than the AP classes in high school. By the time of the last one, the Calculus class at three, I was exhausted. I arrived just moments before Professor Harrison. She began talking before she finished laying her notes on the lectern. She didn't stop until the clocked had clicked twice past the official time for the class to end. She was out the door before anyone could blink.
Because of where I sat, I was next to last out the door. I looked back and a woman moved across the room using crutches. A book bag over one shoulder and no leg extended past the hem of the left side of her skirt. I held the door open for her. She smiled and I followed.
She stopped and looked at me. "Did you understand any of that?" She smiled and stood without much support from her crutches. "Day one and I'm lost."
I examined her more closely. She seemed slightly older, my height, cute, hopefully approachable.
"Scary, huh? I think I got most of it."
"You must be a brainiac." She giggled. "I'm Julie. I waited a few years to start college and I think I've forgotten everything from high school."
"Hello Julie." I tried to speak in my most manly voice. "I am Paul. I'd be happy to try to help. We could get a pizza at the student center."
"That would be nice."
I watched her walk. Nothing said by either until we were out of Jones Hall and alone on the sidewalk.
"You haven't asked about my leg."
She paused as though I had to say something. I shrugged my shoulders. "I wanted to." I smiled. "Mom's girlfriend is missing both legs."
"Wow." She searched my body for clues of how I was responding. Her left hand stroked along her skirt. The skirt gave way not far below her hip and curved around her stump under the pressure of her fingers. "Guess you're used to being around people like me."
"If you mean people missing limbs, yeah. It's nice."
"Nice?" She seemed puzzled at my response.
"Ah-h," I stammered.
She giggled. "I'm just jerking your chain. I think it is nice too." She laughed. "Come on. I'm hungry." She laughed again and began walking.
I followed beside her. "I like the way you walk. You make it look easy."
"Didn't take long to build up the right muscles. It's been a year."
I continued to watch. She was graceful, almost seeming to not apply much force upon her crutches or her hands. "Wow." The word softly escaped my mouth without control.
"Yeah." Her voice was sultry. She took another two steps in silence. She stopped and stared down at her foot. "Wouldn't have the fucking leg back for all the money...." The crossing light was now red and a dozen other people suddenly stood around us.
We were quiet as we crossed the intersection with others. Again, we were alone and she rested her hips on the retaining wall in front of the student center. She placed the two crutches neatly together and rested them beside her. I looked at her. She looked at me. "Sorry. I got carried away." She cupped her hands over the skirt around the end of her thigh.
"So you wanted to be this way. What the hell is wrong with that?"
"Huh?"
"What do you mean huh? I mean exactly that you wanted your leg amputated ... that you did and now you love being this way. Right?" I shrugged my shoulders and watched her hand tease her stump hidden under the skirt.
"Goddamn. You are the only person to read me."
"Well, you gave it about ninety percent away." I laughed. "I am so-o glad I know. Listen, I am so turned on by Donna not having, ah, legs." I sat beside Julie. "She doesn't know how she affects me."
"Do you jack off thinking 'bout her?"
I nodded. "Yeah, you probably do the same looking at yourself in the mirror ... right?"
"Is it that obvious?"
I laughed and grinned. "Let's just say I was hoping." I laughed again feeling more relaxed with her.
"I had to wait until I was twenty-one. It felt like I had wanted, no, needed to be this way for all my life. I love it. Goddamn it is great. It feels good to have told someone. I have several stories I use when someone asks - sharks, saws ... you know, hugely unlikely things they shouldn't believe. They do. I don't know why I opened up to you. Oh God Paul, it feels so good now that I have." She stood leaving her crutches alone and hopped until she was in front of me. Her arms reached out inviting me to stand. The hug was comfortable as our bodies melted together. "Thank you." The sweet words blew across my cheek and over my ear.
"You feel nice against me."
"So glad ... Paul." Her hand rubbed across my back and over my hip. I could feel her stump press against the front of my pants. "You like that?" The stump moved again, pressing harder. "You'd be the first since...." Her lips nibbled at my ear as the words drifted though my mind. "You don't need to. I'll understand."
I pulled her face towards mine and pressed my lips against hers. Her tongue teased my lips making them damper and the thermostat seemed to twist higher. "I must." I sucked her lower lip between mine for a moment and let go. "If you want me."
"You fool. You had me...." She pressed her lips against mine and drove her tongue deep into my mouth.
We walked along the sidewalk towards the doors of the student center. It was not possible to do anything other than watch her move. She watched me watching her. "Do I excite you?"