The summer was coming to an end, which meant a new part of my life was nearing. I was accepted at a college in New Hampshire. I was a bit apprehensive of moving so far from home. I've lived in a small town in North Dakota all my life and have only gone to surrounding towns near me.
The thought of the unfamiliar excited me but at the same time made me feel sick with worry, as well as the rigorous demands of going to college for the first time. High school wasn't an easy thing for me at all. I'm a shy, introvert to say the least.
I have an average look, nothing special, brownish blond hair, green eyes, thin, and about 6 feet tall. People have told me I have feminine features which make me appear to be a lot younger than I really am. I turned 19 last month but I still look to be no more than 16 years old. I don't like most things about me and I suppose that's why I have never had a girlfriend or even many friends.
The prospect of going to college had me hoping maybe things would be different for me. I knew I wasn't going to be popular or anything but to make a good friend would be a really nice change for me. I spent most of my time alone, being an only child with parents that both worked long hours, I was used to it. I learned at an early age to entertain myself.
As I got older all those feelings of wanting to be sexual with someone grew to become that which plagued my mind most of the time and I spent countless hours entertaining the idea of how it would be to actually interact with someone in an intimate setting.
This made me feel intensely horny all the time. I would masturbate several times a day. Sometimes while in school, I'd have to go to the restroom to relieve myself. My penis would always be erect and hard to hide. I dreaded going to gym the most, getting undressed with others around me, and seeing other guys nude always made me feel flushed.
I would feel an erection starting and would need to rush to the restrooms before anyone noticed. A few times, some of the guys would see my semi-erect penis and me rushing off, which made me want to die with embarrassment and fear that they'd think I was gay and become the joke of the school. In a small town this was the worse thing that could happen to a shy guy like me.....especially because I was never seen with a girlfriend.
Some times I'd try to get out of showering but normally I would have to and that was the worse. Seeing all those boys washing themselves, especially their dicks made me instantly aroused. I would try to think of anything to get my mind off of my own dick. For a long time I thought for sure I was gay because of the effect other guys had on me on a daily basis.
My only course of action to prevent this when showering was to masturbate during lunch break in the restroom so that hopefully I would be OK during my showers. Sometimes this would work. If not I would quickly turn the hot water off, shocking myself to think of the ice cold water all over my body.
The night before I was to catch the train to college, my mom and dad made a nice dinner for me. They handed me a box wrapped in blue paper and a green ribbon. They both smiled and told me to open it. It was a laptop for school. My mom said, "I think this will come in handy at school." I thanked both of them. She came over to give me a hug with tears in her eyes, she whispered, "I'm going to miss you so much".
My dad came over to hug me too and gave me a squeeze, I suppose to take the place of words. I got a lump in my throat and didn't know what to say. A numbness came over me as I thought about not seeing them for such a long time.
That night I laid in my bed not able to sleep for a long time. The more I told myself I needed to get some sleep the harder it was for me to fall asleep. I tossed and turned for awhile and thought maybe if I have a wank I'll be able to fall asleep but even that wasn't the same. I felt the urge but it wasn't enough. I needed to pee really badly too.
Sometimes I'd pee on myself in the shower before I masturbated, this usually would make me cum really quickly but I knew I couldn't wash up after or my parents would hear the shower and wake-up. Then I heard my mom's voice and knew they were still awake. I thought if I did do this now, I could just say I couldn't sleep and felt sticky. Anything was better than laying here staring at my ceiling.
I put on my shorts and went to the bathroom. I got in the shower and laid down naked in the tub. My penis was stiff and I stroked it a few times, trying to concentrate on letting my piss out. I felt it start to come and held my cock as I waited to feel that warmth of my pee shooting all over me. There's nothing like this feeling, it made me feel so good and extremely hot. The first spray came out like a spurt, then it became a steady stream. It splashed on my chin and neck. I sat up a bit to let it splash on my face and hair.
Just then my mom swung the door open and asked if everything was OK. The shocked look on her face was probably not as horrifing as the look on my face. There I was covered with my own piss, holding my erect cock as more piss was shooting all over my face and hair, in the bathtub with bright lights on, and my mother looking straight at me.
It felt like the world stopped revolving and time stood still focusing on this moment. She backed up and shut the door but I knew she saw this dirty act I was doing. What was I thinking?! I shouldn't have done this when they were here. I could just picture her telling my dad.
I sat there for a second, with pee still dribbling out of my flaccid dick. I don't know how I will ever be able to look them straight in the eyes again. I showered off and returned to my room.
A few minutes later, my mom knocked on my bedroom door and asked if she could come in. My first reaction was to pretend I was sleeping but I knew she would know I was lying. I said OK.