Chapter 7
Jess woke in the night. She left her bed and went to the kitchen for some water. She didn't need the water, she needed to move around. She hadn't slept well in three nights, because her mind could not stop worrying.
In just a few hours Jess would inform Charles they were on for a date this Friday. She leaned her head back and took a drink of the cold bottled water she had retrieved from the refrigerator.
Mark had been loving and supportive these three nights doing his best to calm her mind with every assurance. He knew she would have a good time no matter what happened. And she also knew Charles very well, there was no need to rush anything or be uncomfortable. They just needed to be themselves.
If Charles was the only issue, her worries would subside. She thought of Kim and Mark. She did not want to jeopardize her relationship with either one of them. They had feelings she needed to consider, and she needed to set boundaries to make that happen. How though? What are they? Jess hadn't done this before and she knew the unknown was a monster.
On top of these things, Jess worried about relations with Charles. She didn't quite think of him that way. He was a friend. Really, he was a friend's husband. He was an attractive man, and they had shared a couple of moments, but she wasn't drawn to him.
Her head spun. This has all got to be a bad sign.
Was this something she, herself wanted? Or was it for Mark? Or was it to accommodate Kim's mental health? Was it for everyone including Charles?
She didn't know. Did she need to degrade herself somehow? Was she punishing herself?
Her mind raced. She came up with more questions for every answer.
She sat at her kitchen table, still in the dark.
She calmed herself and thought, what are the good reasons to do this?
Charles is a friend, and we are comfortable.
We have had some kind of sexual moment shared.
Kim wants us all and her to experience more joy.
Being with another man turns me on.
It also turns on Mark.
It is an opportunity that may not come back around.
Maybe leads to a more fulfilling life.
Jess was now not sure this short list was enough to consider doing it in the first place. She was back to square one.
Mark walked in. He tiredly sat next to his girl. "Hey," he said.
Jess was happy to see him. If only to occupy her mind with something other than the situation at hand.
"Hey!" she replied.
He rubbed her back and hugged her. Pressing his head against her shoulder.
"What are you doing up?" Jess asked.
"Trying to help you stop torturing yourself." Mark replied.
"Thanks, it's not going so well." Jess said honestly. Leaning her head against his.
"You haven't started anything. You need to have fun and see if anything takes root. There isn't anything to worry about now. You should just be worried about what you will wear and how to style your hair." Mark did his best to try and discuss reason.
"I know how I'm going to wear my hair. Wavy with a cute flower." She said.
"That's all that matters." Mark again tried to put her at ease. "You just have to be yourself. You are bright, charming, smart, and lots of fun."
"I am." She replied.
"Charles already knows this. The hard part is done. You don't have to impress him."
Jess understood. Mark got through. She just had to show up and be her. There wasn't any pressure.
She turned and kissed his head. "Thank you."
"Come back to bed with me?" Mark asked, searching for Jess' hand in the dark.
"Ok," Jess gave her hand to Mark and got up, following her man to the bedroom.
They both fell asleep soundly and slept for another two and a half hours.
Jess' day was good, and she was in a cheery mood. She texted Charles to let him know she was available and would love to spend the day with him on Friday. Weight had been lifted off of her shoulders and she now looked forward to Friday.
The day went on for everyone as planned.
Mark and Kim met late that afternoon at a small diner.
