Greg was in his office.
"Did you get the lovely Linda settled in?" he asked with a grin.
I plopped into the chair across his desk and said, "she was a fucking VIRGIN, man!"
"No shit?" he said.
I grinned. "No shit," I said, and added, "I think I'm in love."
He laughed.
"Oh, who with?" He asked.
"YOU!" I said, "thank you, my oldest friend, for bringing me to heaven."
He laughed at that.
"Okay, my homosexual friend," he said, "now we're going to a staff meeting and you'll meet your co-workers.
On the way to the smaller building, what Greg called the "staff quarters," I was introduced to three more of the residents. Paulette was a perfect matron, blonde, not unattractive, in a pair of hip-hugger pants and a halter top that put an interesting set of stretch marks on display. She did the kiss-the-palm thing and held my eyes when she said, "see you later?" "It's a date," I promised.
Jan was, by my estimate, pretty deep in her 50s, a blonde and I was pretty sure a natural blonde given her complexion and skin tone, and one of those women who had spent too many of her teenage years working on her tan. She had that deeply lined, leathery face I associate with that kind of woman. She was very buxom and very broad in the hips, both displayed in an interesting package of floor-length pants suit and high-heeled sandals. She kissed my palm and then, before I could react, pulled me down for a kiss on the mouth. She was a good kisser.
The third was Maxine and she was huge. She was on one of those little three-wheeled mobility scooters and her ass hung over both sides of the seat. Her black hair was a wide halo around her big head in a hairdo that looked straight out of the 1980s. Her face was really very pretty, she looked a little like Elizabeth Taylor done at about 200 percent scale. She did the kiss-to-the-palm thing when we were introduced but she did not release my hand. Instead, she said, "Well, David, I seem to have a rash that I just cannot reach. Maybe you could help me later?"
I smiled, patted her hand, and said, "I'm at your service."
Finally, at the staff quarters, Greg introduced me around the table.
The cook, Randall, was an interesting character. As I've said, I'm pretty much Mr. Average but still, I'm not used to having to actually bend my head back to meet another man's eyes, but with him I did. Christ, he had to be at least 6'6" and weighed maybe 180 pounds. He was a stick figure but good-looking in that long-faced way some very tall men are. He had a deep voice and I firm handshake. I liked him.
The assistant cooks, Brian and Stan, were pretty interchangeable. Both were, like me, Mr. Average at about 5'10" and about 165 or so. One of them, Brian I thought, had dark hair, and one was blonde. Both were good-looking in that college Junior way. You would have expected to find them at a college bar with a cheerleader in hand. Both seemed nice enough, though, with good handshakes and voices when we were introduced.
The general cleanup/handyman pair could not have been more different. Greg had mentioned they were students too, and I believed it. Tony looked like a football lineman, big, I guessed him at 6'1" or so and probably 250 pounds and Jerry looked like he would have been the president of the Chess Club or something. He was small, about 5'4" or so, and so skinny I doubted he weighed a hundred pounds. He looked kind of like Buddy Holly actually with slicked-back hair and horn-rimmed glasses.
Finally, the counselors looked like, well, counselors. Both were reasonably good looking, both were very well groomed, hair in place, clothes looking quite professional. Hell, their names even sounded counselorish (if it's not a word, it should be). Oliver was tall although not as tall as Randall, with red hair, a round face, and freckles. He looked very open, like he would listen as long as you wanted to talk. Henry was another Mr. Average with dishwater blonde hair, glasses, and a small goatee that I figured he thought gave him a counselor look.
"So," Greg said after the introductions had been made, "I recruited Dave and his official title is now Assistant Director. I have complete faith in him and if he tells you something, or asks you to do something, treat it as if it was me. He's a bright guy, though, so don't hesitate to tell him things and, yes, tell him when he fucks up. God knows none of you are backward about telling ME that."
His finish brought chuckles around the room.
As for me, I just said something like, "I'm happy to be here and Jesus, it looks like you guys have created a little slice of heaven on Earth."
We chatted a bit. As a staff meeting, it was pretty informal although there was real professional information being exchanged.
"We need to pay more attention to Darlene," Henry said, "or she'll backslide right into Bulimia."
Since I hadn't met this woman yet I had nothing to say.
"Hell," Stan said, "she came like a fucking garden hose for me yesterday."
Jeremy laughed and said, "she damn near squashed me first thing this morning."
Greg held up his hand and the chatter stopped.
"Dave, take the time to meet the lovely Darlene and let her know the new guy thinks she's beautiful," he said. I gave him a salute over my coffee.
It went on like that for almost an hour and I realized one thing for sure. Greg had done a good job of assembling a staff that was both professionally competent and who truly did enjoy big women. I felt like I fit right in.
When it all broke up I said to Greg, "Introduce me to the lovely Darlene."
"Eager to get to earn your keep?" he said with a grin.
"You know me better than that," I said, "I just enjoy a challenge."
"Well," he said, "let's see if we can track her down."
As we passed through the great room Maxine, in her mobility scooter, caught my hand.
"Ready to help my rash?" she asked.
I chuckled, bent, and kissed her.
"Tonight," I said, "after I've fed you."
She giggled at that and said, "it's a date, handsome."
"Fickle," Greg said, bending to kiss her.
"Just a fat slut, honey," she said, "you know that."
We walked across the main area, to the biggest building.
"Our gym-pool-hot tub-workout room," Greg said as we entered, "Darlene likes the hot tub."
I paused to take it in. There was a big pool in the middle of the room. I'm not sure exactly what an "Olympic Size" pool might be, but this sure looked like what I think of one as. Along one wall was a set of free weights and benches. Interestingly, a boxing ring sat in one corner, along with two treadmills and a couple of what I think are called elliptical machines. It was, all in all, a well-equipped gym.
"Boxing or some sort of oriental martial arts?" I asked, looking at the ring.
"Self-defense," he said, "nothing boosts a girl's self-confidence like knowing she can kick the ass of any man who insults her."
I grinned and continued looking around. One woman I hadn't met yet, attractive in that 60-something matronly way, was walking on the treadmill, at a very leisurely pace and I wondered what she thought she was accomplishing. Another, so big she sort of bobbed like a damn cork as she swam, was slowly swimming laps.
"Ahhhh, there she is," Greg said, nodding at the hot tub. I could see someone was sitting in it.
"Come on," he said, "let me show you the locker room before we do introductions."
It was a very professional-looking locker room, actually. It looked like something you would pay a lot to join, everything clean and swept, shiny chrome or well-varnished wood.
