Exposure Therapy Third Session

"Sweet boy, how are you feeling?"

Where was I and when did I ever feel so comfortable? I was laying on the couch of doctor Cox office, and I felt more at peace with myself then I could remember ever feeling before. What had happened this time? Had I slept through the session again?

I answered her question.

"A little out of it, but I feel great. Almost like a new me. I don't know what you did. But it sure makes me feel great."

"That's wonderful to hear sweet boy, I think you're perfect for this kind of therapy, and we're going to have a great time with expanding your mind and your interests."

That's what I really wanted to hear. To expand my mind beyond my porn addiction, maybe start dating some girl. Get out more. Do new things. I sat up and looked at doctor Cox.

"Thank you so much mam, that's really what I need."

"Now my sweet boy. This week you're going to have to restrain yourself, to improve your self control."

"What do you mean mam?"

"I know that you know. That what I'm doing with you. Is for your own good, and what I'm going to tell you to do. Is to make you a better version of yourself. Right?"

I didn't have to hesitate a second.

"Of course mam, you know what's best for me." Of course she did. She was my doctor who worked with these kinds of things all the time. She was an expert. If I could listen too anyone's opinion. Doctor Cox was surely one of the most trustworthy ones.

"Very good, now your task this week is that you can only watch one pornographic video a day. Just one, and you have to do what the goddess in the video tells you to do. No matter what." She paused for emphasis and continued.

"This will be very hard for you. I know your addiction consumes a lot of your time, and that you only fantasized about a lot of the things you watched in the videos. Instead of actually doing what you were told to do.

Like when a goddess would tell you to eat your own cum or suck her strap on cock."

When she said this I started to blush and looked down at the floor. Sure most often when the goddess would tell me to do things I actually didn't do them. Just imagining doing them. But when I bought the butt plug I knew I were going down deeper into my addiction, and knew I needed help. The biggest reason why I blushed was that I started to feel very aroused, but luckily I didn't feel a boner coming. Which I felt was very weird. Since whenever I felt this way a boner always accompanied me.

She continued.

"So if you are told to stroke your penis, you stroke. If you are told to suck her strap on. You suck, and so forth. Do you understand?"

I did understand, but how could I suck something that wasn't physically there?

"But mam, I told you I only have a butt plug. I haven't bought a dildo or anything."

"I know, this will teach you that actions have consequences. If your one video of the day tells you to get on your knees and suck a cock that is what you have to do. So in order to watch the rest of the clip. You will have go to a sex shop, and buy something appropriate. In order for you to watch the rest of the video, and if you disobey, and don't want to do it. You will have to wait till the next day to jerk." Once again she paused for emphasis.

"But remember, you can only watch one video a day, and if you don't cum during that clip. You're gonna have to wait for the next day to cum."

Now this sounded really hard. Mostly because I was so often horny, and wanted to jerk all the time, and really liked to do it for long periods of time, and now I was only allowed to watch one clip, and all that free time I was gonna get. What was I now supposed to do on my free time?

"I think I'm going to get a lot of time on my hands. If I can only watch one clip. What should I do on my free time?"

Was I asking her what I was allowed to do? Or was it just that I couldn't think of anything to do by myself? I wasn't completely sure, but I knew she would come up with something that was the right thing for me to do.

"It's great that you reflect on this yourself. That implies that you are taking this seriously. You need to start new healthy habits. So for this week I want you to start working out. Nothing to heavy. Often when people start going to the gym and start lifting weights, they do to much at once, and they get so sore. That they can't continue.

So instead of risking that something like that will happen. I want you to start doing yoga and aerobic exercises. That way you'll become lean and healthy and flexible, and the risk of getting sore and wanting to stop is minimal. Is that something you think you would be able to do?"

Start doing yoga and aerobic exercises? That had never crossed my mind. When she said working out. My immediate thought was. Now I'm going to get buff. But maybe I could start lifting weights next week. It did sound like I wouldn't want to continue lifting weights if I felt to sore. So maybe this was a good start.

"So I start of with yoga and stuff. Then I'll do other exercises?"

"Of course sweetie, further on you will do all kinds of exercises."

When she said "sweetie" I felt a warm tingling feeling throughout my body. Feeling that she truly wanted what was best for me.

She continued.

"So if you feel like you don't know what to do during the day. Because you would usually jerk off. Then you will use that time to do stretching exercises and watch yoga videos."

"I can do that, I think." I said with a little doubt but trying to muster some resolve.

"If you're a Good Boy, and do everything you've been told to do. You will get a reward next week when we'll see each other again."

Now I felt my cock starting to stiffen. Telling me to be a "Good Boy" really helped my resolve. I was really going to try my best.

"I'm going to try my best mam!"

...

This week was tough, I had a plan at the start of the week. That I thought would work out great. But ended up in failure.

With a heavy heart I knocked on the door to my therapist, and dreaded that I hadn't done as well as she hoped.

The door opened, and there stood doctor Cox. There was something different from before. She still looked very professional. She still had her suit and blouse on. But instead of a skirt she wore pants. Her long hair in a tight ponytail, and her facial features felt sharper somehow.

"Welcome Sander. Come in and have a seat, and tell me about your week. In your own words. Describe how it went."

Where to start? Well why not start from the beginning, and tell the whole story.

"Well after I left your office I wanted to jerk off right away, and when I got home I had a plan. I was not going to watch anything that I needed any items for, and tried to watch something fairly light. So I watched a JOI clip. Was no able to cum during the clip and was very frustrated. But I took a couple of breaths. To compose myself.

Remembered to do yoga exercises and worked out in different ways the rest of the day."

"That was very good Sweetie. That shows that you are able to follow the commands that you were given. Shows great potential."

I felt a warm pleasant feeling when I heard her praise, and wondered how she'd feel when I told her the rest of the week.

"I'm sad to say that I think that my addiction has increased in some ways. The first couple of days I was able to resist watching kinkier videos. But I wasn't able to cum to the more vanilla content. Then two days ago without thinking I had this urge to cum, and started a clip where the goddess was talking about how she liked my small dick. But that everyone that had a small dick shouldn't be using it to fuck. Rather they should themselves be the ones to suck and fuck, and suddenly the goddess were wearing a strap on cock. I realized my mistake, and paused the clip even though I was on the verge of cumming. I was almost immediately on the edge. When I saw her wearing it.

Well anyway, I was still super horny but I realized I couldn't keep watching if I didn't have a dildo. Which I didn't... but I do now."

At this point I started sob e little. How could it come to this.

"Oh it's alright Sweetie, you were just doing what you were told. It's nothing wrong with that. In fact you are a very Good Boy for following directions. What kind of dildo did you get, was it a BBC that you seemed so fascinated over on our previous appointments?"

I didn't know what was happening to me. As soon as she started talking I started feeling better. Seeing things from a completely new perspective. Me buying the dildo wasn't bad. Because I just followed what doctor Cox told me to do, and she was the one who was curing my addiction.

I also found myself getting very aroused for some reason and started to feel myself getting hard.

"Well I stopped jerking and immediately went to a sex shop a couple blocks away. I was very embarrassed when I walked in. Luckily I was the only customer. But behind the counter there was a pretty woman. Which made me more embarrassed for what I was going to purchase.

I found a reasonable looking one and went to the counter to buy the thing. The woman asked me something that made me blush. But in the end I got it and came back home."

"Sweetie, you need to clarify some things and you have to learn the right words to say. It's important for you to say what you were doing. Otherwise we won't get to the root of the problem.

What did the Goddess in the clip tell you that guys with small dicks should do?"

I tried to recall what I had told her just a minute ago.

"She said that they shouldn't do the fucking."

"That's right but what should they also do, instead of doing the fucking. What were they supposed to do?"

I felt so embarrassed, but still very horny. But I knew that I should answer all her questions if I wanted to get better. Which I did.

"She said that they should be the one sucking and getting fucked."

"That's right Sweetie, and if a Goddess told you to buy a dildo then you should. It's the only way for you to see that your addiction have consequences.

I also need you to be more clear in the future. Instead of using words like "It" and "the thing" when you're talking about a dildo or a cock. You are belittling the cock. So don't shy away from describing what you've bought or what the nice lady in the store told you."

I guess she had a point there. I wasn't comfortable with this whole situation. But I needed to meet my fears if I were to grow.

"Well I bought a realistic looking dildo with a suction cup at the bottom."

"Describe it more, really imagine the cock in your mind when you describe it. That will help you understand that your actions have consequences."

"In the video I watched the Goddess was wearing something that a well endowed white guy would have. So I tried to mimic that. So I bought a 18 cm (7 inch) realistic looking dildo with balls and a suction cup at the bottom."

"That's much better, Good Boy. Now why did you blush when you went to pay for your new yummy toy?"

I felt my cheeks heating up when I thought back on the moment.

"She asked if it was a present, and if I wanted it gift wrapped. By doing so I felt like I had to admit it was for myself or lie, and even though I wanted to lie I felt that it wasn't the right thing to do.

So I told her that it wasn't a gift.

She gave me a little smirk and winked at me and said "Have fun"."

"Don't think that she were doing it to tease you, (even though she probably was) think of it as she was just trying to help you the best she could. In the future, if you need to buy more items. I want you to go to the same store. So that you can overcome your fears and embarrassment."

I did not want to go there again. So hopefully I wouldn't need to buy anything else.

"Did you continue watching the clip when you got home?"

"No I didn't, my embarrassment had shamed me to much. So instead I did yoga and other stretching exercises to feel better which helped."

"So now you have a dildo and a butt plug at home, and you haven't used any of them?"

"That WAS the case, but yesterday I couldn't help myself. I watched an JOI with a beginners guide to anal, and used the butt plug for the first time, and I was finally able to cum."

I looked down on the floor. Feeling ashamed of what I had admitted to.

But a small part of me feeling proud that I had followed the instructions I were given. Both by the goddess in the video and doctor Cox.

"You shouldn't see this as a step back Sweetie. You were a Good Boy for following your orders, and I will tell you something that you might not have known. But the male G-spot is located in the ass. So in order for you to have the most pleasurable orgasm. You actually NEED to pleasure yourself analy."

"I didn't know that. Do you mean that I always should use the butt plug when I masturbate in order to have a better orgasm? Is that like part of the addiction therapy. In order for me to get better?"

"More or less, now before we continue. Lay down on the couch and close your eyes for me. That's right, Good Boy. Now take deep breaths and feel yourself starting to relax both body and mind. Feel yourself drifting away deeper and deeper. Good Boy...

.....

End of part 3