As my family sat at the breakfast table, I took occasional glances at the latest edition of 'Snatch' magazine, that my twenty-one-year-old, older brother (by 2 years) Gary, who sat beside me was reading.
More intent was I, upon what the next glossy page of Gary's favourite Girly periodical would reveal, that I had only been half-listening to what Dad, who sat opposite me, had been saying. Still, it was obvious from his tone that he wasn't in the best of moods this morning.
When Gary turned to the next page of Snatch magazine, I was once again disappointed. The full-page, full-colour picture showed nothing below the ankles of the beautiful nude model – or, to be more exact: no feet. But, as the title suggested, Snatch magazine focused their attentions upon another area of their girls' charms.
I listened more attentively, to Dad's despairing rant that, due to the ongoing banking crisis, was becoming a regular lament these days.
As I listened to him, Dad re-read his mail, and he bitterly bemoaned to us the latest of his ongoing difficulties in securing a Small Business Loan from his bank – the Northern and General – at a fair and reasonable, and affordable rate of interest.
Dad was sounding like a stuck record these days, I thought. Rather unkindly, I suppose. Certainly, with a lack of sympathy, understanding, and appreciation. It was, after all, my dad who was keeping a roof over my carefree and ungrateful head.
I suppose I am like many young people of my age: nineteen years old, and still living at home with Mum and Dad. Mum doing my washing, cooking my meals – even still cleaning my room, I'm ashamed to admit. And because Mum and Dad are reasonably well off, due to Dad's modestly successful small business (a motor parts and accessories shop), they ask only a token sum from Gary and I for our keep.
But, to listen to Dad's voice of doom and gloom, on an almost daily basis, perhaps Gary and I might soon be in for a rude shock. If affordable credit availability didn't improve soon, to keep Dad's small business viable, Gary and I might suddenly find ourselves having to cough up more for our keep. And then we'd have less cash in our pockets to spend on girls, and other essentials.
Dad was ranting and raving in his, by now, all too familiar refrain. In his agitation, he waved his latest letter from the Northern and General Bank at us over the breakfast table. "The manager of the Northern and General, Miss Harding, has knocked me back again! She's refused me a Small Business Loan – that is, Miss Harding won't give me one at a reasonable rate of interest, that I can afford to repay. It is absolutely vital that I secure another Small Business Loan soon, if I am to have any hope – any hope at all – of keeping the business going ... and, of keeping a roof over all of our heads, too, come to that," Dad gloomily informed us all, for the umpteenth time.
I also, had received an unpleasant, harshly toned, and decidedly peremptory letter that morning, from Miss Harding, the manager of the Northern and General Bank.
Miss Harding had made an appointment – no, more like a summons, really – for me to see her this afternoon, at 3 p.m. Miss Harding had not asked me to phone her; in the event that this was not a convenient time, or that I might have trouble in arranging time off from work, or that there might be some other problem, that would make it difficult for me to attend at the stipulated time. No. She had simply instructed me to be there. Ordering me to 'appear' before her. As if she was a Judge, who was going to ... sentence me.
And, as luck would have it, I was working the 2 p.m. – 10 p.m. shift this week. And Miss Harding's letter, in giving me such short notice, robbed me of a chance to try and swap this afternoon's shift with one of my workmates' shifts. So I was going to lose the whole shift!
Miss Harding's decidedly brusquely worded letter (or rather, summons) was concerning my late monthly repayment of my Personal Loan from the Northern & General Bank.
The loan (repayable over 3 years, and subject to the N&G's Terms and Conditions Policy) that I had taken out with them two years ago to buy my car – a beat-up, on-its-last-legs, cheating-the-scrap-man, 14-year-old hatchback with more miles on the clock than Captain Kirk's star ship – at a fair and reasonable, affordable rate of interest, just before the banking fiasco erupted over all of our heads.
Things are different now. Very different – you only had to listen to Dad!
Despite what Dad had said to me, after reading my letter from Miss Harding: ("Prepare yourself, David, for a bit of a dressing-down – for a meeting without coffee"), I'd not been overly concerned ... at first.
I mean, after all, it was just a temporary cash flow problem that I had – everyone gets them, right? I was just a bit short of money this month, that's all, due to a problem I'd had with my car; a problem with the gear box, that I'd needed the garage to fix.
As I saw it, I'd had no choice in giving priority to spending what money I had on getting my car repaired – as opposed to meeting this month's Personal Loan repayment to the N & G. After all, I needed my car to get to work, didn't I? No car = no work = no money. So it was a no-brainer.
Surely, Miss Harding would sympathise. Surely, she would appreciate my unfortunate dilemma ... wouldn't she? And, after all, this was the first time I'd missed a payment, so that should stand in my favour. And I would simply make up the deficit when I paid next month's Personal Loan repayment. Surely, Miss Harding would be understanding, and reasonable, and flexible ... wouldn't she?
But, as I listened to Dad, I started to grow more and more uneasy, and less and less complacent, about my own situation with the N&G. I began to take a bit more seriously, Dad's earlier warning: to expect "a meeting without coffee," with Miss Harding.
When I glanced at Gary's Girly mag each time he turned to the next page, more often than not, just a single, brief glimpse was all that I needed (still no feet) before I returned my attention to what Dad was saying, in his increasingly despairing and angry tones.
It was not that I wasn't interested in the beautiful and glamorous, and very sexy nude models' other ... attributes – of course I was! It was just that I was waiting for the pictures that showed the posing models' feet. Preferably, bare feet, but I would have been okay too, with socks or hose – I'm easy to please! Those, were the sort of pictures that I was interested in, and wanted to see. But, Snatch magazine, like many other 'tits & pussy' mags, hardly ever seemed to show their models' feet in the pictures.
I am nineteen years old. By now, I have stopped trying to come to terms with, and stopped trying to understand, my strong attraction to female feet. After all, by now I know perfectly well what I am: a foot fetishist. And there is no getting away from the fact. Not that I want to.
I am quite reconciled to it. In fact, far from being simply reconciled, to my foot fetish, the last thing that I want, is to be 'cured'.
The thrilling – sexually arousing – fantasies that female feet evoke in me, are taking over my life more and more. I find myself spending more and more of my time, looking at them, thinking about them ... fantasising, about them.
I realise that I am fast becoming one-track minded. I have no control, over this thing. Female feet, are becoming my all-consuming obsession.
I am crazy about female feet. And, someday soon, I was going to go ... oh, I don't know what!
Because, day by day, my desire for girls' and women's feet is growing. Growing inexorably. Growing, day by day, a little stronger. A little more urgent ... and a little more desperate.