Auntie Barbara had been married briefly many years ago, when I was a child but her husband had left suddenly with the parting shot to my mother and other members of the family, "She's impossible. No man could give her what she wants. Believe me; she'll come to a bad end. One day, some man will do what she wants and it'll kill her."
This was reported to me at an early age without interpretation, and I assumed that either she was a wicked woman who wanted to rob banks, or else to go diving among sharks, or perhaps take part in dangerous sports such as ski-diving, mountain climbing or motorcycle racing. None of the adults explained what he may have meant, so I grew up thinking of her as either very naughty or else an audacious older woman. She was about 16 years older than I was, and so not quite a whole generation ahead of me in the family.
She'd had a few scandals in her past, which my mother (her eldest sister) never discussed but referred obliquely and rarely to "the Italian" and "her Russian" and "that boy from Alabama". I could only assume that these men were as wicked as Auntie Barbara or else as risk-prone in their lifestyles, and therefore to be avoided. Even so, she was the embodiment of womanhood for me: the older woman, who looked good, behaved disgracefully, and who held my attention whenever she was in the same room as I was.
For as long as I could remember, I saw Auntie Barbara as a fascinating and alluring woman. At the age of 10, I thought she was the most attractive and sociable woman in the family. At 15, I watched her and wanted to be near her because she had an effect on my frame of mind, and on my burgeoning libido. At 18, I found myself comparing girl friends to Auntie Barbara and always finding her the most engaging and desirable. At 20, I actually got to kiss her properly at Christmas that year, in a party-game way, but discovered she knew how to kiss and that her figure was desirable. In the course of a 5-second kiss, I held her to me and she pressed herself against me as well. She looked straight into my eyes as we separated, raised her eyebrows at me and then giggled. I thought she was making fun of me and was mildly offended, but nothing Auntie Barbara did could ever make me dislike her. Then I was off on my career, away from home and travelling for some years.
By the time I returned to my home town at the age of 27, I knew much more about life and a little about women. As I made my way home, I remembered Auntie Barbara and wondered how she was. She'd be older now after six or seven years, so perhaps she'd lost her charm. Some women do that, don’t they? I remembered the last time I saw her and how she was dressed. For a woman in her late thirties, she’d dressed well but not too young, but she had behaved outrageously young. I recalled a plain cream cotton skirt that came well above her knees and gripped her hips and thighs, with smooth legs inside tights (I supposed), mountainously high heels on cream shoes, a short jacket fastened to show off a nice cleavage, and her hair cut into a bob. At that last occasion, she held me to her and kissed me full on the mouth, pressing her breasts against me and letting he hold her waist. At the time, I wondered what her figure was like underneath the clothing, and also what underwear she had on. That was the curiosity of a young man in the presence of a vivacious woman. Any vivacious woman I suppose, whether she was mother's sister or not.
Now I was making my way home and would see her in a day or two. I was more excited about meeting Auntie Barbara again than I was about seeing my mother. Father had died a few years ago and she lived the quiet life of a 60-ish widow with no apparent interests in her life. I went to see mother first for three days, and then called Auntie Barbara to see if I could go round to her place. At that stage, my intentions were purely social and familial.
"Of course, dear Thomas, come now; as soon as you like. I'll make some supper and you can stay over with me and Timothy. It would be so nice to have Tom and Tim here together." That would have sounded improper except I knew that Timothy was her old tom-cat. You can see the play on names, which was typical of her sense of humour.
I said to my mother, "Auntie Barbara would like me to go round and stay over. I've a present for her so shall I do that, or go tomorrow?"
"Please yourself dear, the sooner you go the sooner it'll be over. Then you won't have to see her again." Mother clearly believed that I regarded seeing Auntie Barbara as an unwelcome chore. So I packed the minimum of things in my smallest bag and drove the one hour or so to my Auntie's house.
As soon as I saw her, I was astounded at Auntie Barbara's ability to remain unchanged. She looked exactly as I remembered her. The bobbed hair, the figure shown to advantage in a fitted skirt and tightish sweater, and heels. Such heels! The skirt was longer than I remembered from the previous occasion, but shaped perfectly to her hips and waist, and her legs were as attractive as ever. I did a quick calculation and decided she must be well into her 40s, but she looked better than most younger women I'd known of 30 or even 25.
She held me, pressing herself to me so that I could feel the firm swell of her breasts through my shirt. I put my hands on her waist, either side, on top of her hips, and she kissed me on my lips. As the kiss finished, she took my hands and pulled them behind herself so that I was holding her in a real embrace about her middle and she put her hands up to my shoulders and behind my head. With one quick look into my eyes, she pulled my face to hers and began a full open-mouth kiss, with her tongue just brushing my lips to start. I didn’t pull away, and I suppose she took that as an encouragement. She pushed further into my mouth and I let her, tipping my tongue against hers as she explored behind my top teeth. She smelled wonderful; newly showered and clean, with a gently scent of patchouli or cardamom. She held my head against hers, as I bent down to her and pushed her tongue fully up into my mouth, to my back teeth and towards my throat. I'd been there only 30 seconds and she was linked to me as if we were old and long-lost lovers. My excitement was rising in my trousers and she pressed her groin against me to feel it the better, it seemed to me. And so I gave her my tongue also as soon as an opportunity arose. Her lips were sweet and wide open to me. She just opened her mouth and invited me in, which I did all the way to her molars and the top arch of her hard palate. We breathed together and shared the space in her mouth, with her tongue entwining itself with mine. As I drew my face away from hers, I knew that this would be no simple nephew visit, and she smiled as we separated.
"Would you like some tea or will you let me show you what you've always wondered?" she said, and drew me towards another room, that I knew was her bedroom. Clearly, it wasn't a question at all.
Timothy was on her bed and she lifted him off, plonked him through the door into the living room, and closed the door to keep him out. She turned and got hold of me again.
"Thomas, you're a man and not just my nephew. I've been watching you since you were a little boy, because I knew you'd grow into a beautiful man. And I was right. Now tell me this: didn’t you watch me more than any of your other aunties?"
I chuckled, "You know I did, Auntie Barbara."
She held me to her and spoke in a low voice, "Just Barbara, now. We're a man and a woman in the same family, who've liked each other for many years. Yes?"
"Yes, Barbara," I said, just as softly, "I've watched you and wanted to know more about you for as long as I can remember."
"Well, tonight," she paused and looked me in the eyes, "you can know everything about me that you've ever wanted to know, or wondered about."