To the Reader: Thanks for taking a look at my story. It is the first time I'm trying this kind of writing. It is a bit autobiographical and there is quite a bit of truth in this story. However, as the clichΓ© goes, I changed the details to protect the guilty. Truth or Fiction, it doesn't really matter, does it.
I'm very welcome to feedback. I'm not looking to make this writing a full time job, but will be writing on these events as a bit of a cathartic process. I may even write some fantasies/fiction that I've had thoughts about.
There is some taboo stuff in here. Homosexuality, prelude to cuckolding, Dominance/Submission/Humiliation, etc. Feedback is very welcome. Constructive feedback is appreciated.
If you plan to insult, then just understand everyone reading your insult will know that you are homosexual, but haven't been able to accept it. I'm sure we all wish you a better understanding of yourself and a happy life.
Chapter 1
I feel compelled to share my story. Had I set out to make it happen, I'm sure I would not have been successful. I've never been one to worry about change and always felt that life would work out and find a path forward. In the current political climate, maybe that would be called entitlement or privilege. I think of it as more of having a positive mental attitude and confidence.
I'm 45 now. 6' 1", weigh about 205 lbs. Brown hair, blue eyes. I played baseball and ran tack in my younger days. I bulked up a little bit in my 30's when I hit the weights. I'm in good shape, but not a body builder. I bike, hike, and a little martial arts. I have a passion for scuba diving. Against my better judgement I had bought a bought that I really enjoy. My name is Mark.
I wouldn't say I'm particularly confident, but I've never had problem with women. I like to laugh and have fun and I've always been able to connect. A couple of years ago I was coming out of a divorce. I'll admit it was hard on me. I loved my ex-wife. I still do. However, we are both career people. I spent years build a New York City financial investment firm and she was offered an executive position on the West Coast. After a months of pains taking, soul searching conversations we came to the conclusion that we both had to follow our career desires and we agreed to split.
Our divorce was 100% amicable. After 10 years of marriage, we split. We agreed to sell our house in New York and in Hilton Head and we split everything else. We were not successful in having children, so that at least made things less complicated.
Lisa was is my soulmate and I was crushed. With many tears we parted the lawyer's office one day. Lisa was heading to the airport to fly to her new home and I drove to the new house I bought to start the next chapter in my life.
BOYS WILL BE BOYS
For a period of time I focused on work. I expanded my client base and we increase our success. I celebrated with my team, entertained clients, and played more golf than I wanted to. Actually playing any golf at all was more than I wanted to. I wasn't bad at the game. I was better than most I played with, I just really didn't like it. However, clients do and I played.
After a while I became a bit bored and started to spend time looking at porn online. I would look at videos, pictures, and read stories online. That kept me entertained for a few weeks and brought me some relief when needed.
I have no recollection of how I came across it, but I found this site called Doublelist and I decided to check out the ads. My experience with sex up until this point has been fulfilling, but vanilla. Over the past couple of weeks I had been looking at submissive women and fantasizing about dominating them.
For example, I was really getting into seeing a porn slut, Cherry Torn get abused and used. Not exclusively to her, but she was a great example. I would never think of anything that wasn't mutually agreed to, but love the idea of a willing submissive at the ready for me to use and humiliate.
As I logged onto Doublelist, I know this was in the back of my mind. I wasn't sure what to expect. As I reviewed the ads in my area of women, I thought they were very vanilla, or prostitutes, and some looking for submissive men in one way or the other. None of these is what I was looking for. I wasn't looking for a vanilla relationship. I wasn't about to start to pay for sex and I certainly wasn't submissive.
I looked at the couples looking for men. Quite a few looking for "bbc". They looked interesting. I had been reading some stories about cuckolds and definitely found that interesting. I'm not a bbc though.
Then, with my cock in my hand, I looked at the M4M section.
I have never had any sexual interaction with a man. I can honestly tell you I never thought of fantasized about it. However, I was a dude with a hardon exploring a website. My cock got harder as I read the M4M ads. The ads were "mostly" ads by submissive men looking to service dominant men. Whatever you want to call me, Gay, Bi, Dominant, whatever, it got me going.
When I started looking at porn and signing up for websites I had created a bogus email address and purchased a "burner" phone through WalMart. I wasn't looking to commit crimes, just didn't want people to know who I was.
I started to reply to a couple of the ads that caught my eye. For the most part, I think they were just guys jerking off. Lots of back and forth, then it would die off.
I still have the email from the ad that really started everything for me:
"55 year old submissive mwm. Love to please, be used, and humiliated. Open to most, included bb, drinking from the tap, and pleasing front and back
6' 185 lbs ddf"
It was slightly cryptic, but easy to figure out. Doublelist doesn't allow graphic content.
I replied immediately telling him my age, description, that I wanted a submissive and asking him what he was looking for.
His name was Tim. He told me he was married, with kids, his wife didn't know and he didn't have much experience. He said he had gone to the Adult Video Store and played in the glory holes a couple of times and had only been fucked once. He was looking to please me in any way I liked and was turned on by being humiliated.
This really got me going. We exchanged a couple of more emails, then switched over to our cell phones texting one another. The more we chatted, the more Tim seemed to want to put himself in a humiliating position. I was loving this. He had given me his cell phone number, which I was sure was a burner as well. However, he definitely seemed real.
He told me how he wanted to get a motel room, strip naked, leave the door open and wait for me. He told me that he wanted to suck my cock, lick my balls, eat my ass, swallow my spit, sperm, and piss and would like to be fucked by me.
As we texted more, he shared he wasn't into pain or bondage, but was open to most things.