I arrived promptly at Louise Bellman's Clinic for my appointment. My dear friend Margaret Jenkins had arranged this visit. Margaret has become my guide in a journey of discovery of my needs for degradation. Margaret suggested that treatment by a qualified therapist would help me better understand my desires and incorporate them into my normal life.
The address given was in a quiet residential neighborhood. Except for the small sign near the door, I wouldn't have been sure I was at the correct place. LOUISE BELLMAN, THERAPIST the lettering said. With some apprehension, I pushed my finger against the button below the sign. Almost immediately the door opened and I was greeted my a middle age man, perhaps 20 years older than I, or in his early 60's I thought. I told him I had a 2:00 appointment, and he said Ms. Bellman was expecting me, and led me into a comfortably furnished office.
Louise Bellman was not what I expected. An attractive young woman, in her 20's I guessed, very fashionably dressed in a finely tailored suit over a beautiful silk blouse. She stood at her desk as I entered, extending her hand to me. "Hello Eve. I'm Louise Bellman. Welcome to my clinic" she said as we both studied each other. I took her hand, a warm, gentle, yet firm grip in my own. "Thank you Miss Bellman, I'm Eve" I said feeling a bit more at ease. "Call me Louise and please sit down" she said to me. "That's all for now William" she said and the man left us alone.
Louise briefly looked through some papers she had and then said "My friend Margaret tells me that you're having some difficulty understanding your needs for degradation, but you're very open about exploring all of your thoughts and feelings. She also tells me that you have begun to actually follow through on her suggestions for ways to debase yourself, but haven't been able to intimately involve others in your shame. I believe that with some extensive therapy here at the clinic, we can help you open yourself to the real pleasures of humiliation."
I must admit that her insight and professionalism caught me by surprise, given her apparent youth, but also made me realize I was dealing with someone who seemed qualified to appraise my situation. "That's true Miss Bellman, excuse me, Louise. What confuses me is that I seem to derive a certain sexual charge from the shame of degradation."
"First you must realize that your sexual arousal is completely natural" Louise went on. "Our therapy here will help you appreciate that, and actually increase your pleasure by experiencing new humiliation. Additionally, you will learn to let your internal fences down, and enjoy the real shame of degradation. Do you have any questions?"
"No questions actually, but I'm concerned about what the therapy involves, and what if I don't want to go along with it" I told her.
"Listen to me Eve. The reason you're here is that you believe that you're a degradation slut and you need to understand how to live with that. You will do exactly as you are told or all of our hard work will not help you." Her voice was very stern, definitely in contrast to her pleasant looks.