*The Prologue*
Ella wasn't always chubby. She was an athlete throughout high school and college, playing volleyball primarily and other sports off-season to keep her athletic conditioning. More than anything, she was studious, always keeping her GPA high to ensure good career prospects after her upcoming graduation. She left the pressure of her impending opportunities imploding and tried to reduce her stress by hanging out with her high school sweetheart boyfriend, Kyle, who was the perpetually carefree type. She would watch him play video games for hours, envying how enthralled he was in his activities, wishing she could immerse herself in anything as fully as Kyle immersed himself in his games. She always felt a little outside herself, like she, too, was controlling a character on a screen. That feeling was worsened in the presence of others, especially in aimless group settings, like the bonfires and house parties Kyle loved to take her to. Maybe it wasn't so much that he liked to take her so much as he liked to go to these parties himself, considering that he would often leave her a few steps from the door, half carried away by the handshake hugs as him and his 'bros' crashed into each other excitedly the moment they saw each other. She was used to this dynamic, but soothed herself with the knowledge that he was not this eager with other girls, just his male friends. This reassurance went out the window when one of his male friends began to come on to her, rather overtly and within earshot of Kyle.
"Come onnnnnnnn," he slurred, "Don't be such a tight ass. Kyle tells us how sloppy your *burp* toppy is."
He laughed obnoxiously and the few friends who caught on to his point laughed along. Ella tugged on Kyle sleeve, trying to catch his attention, waiting for him to intervene furiously on her behalf.
"Why don't you show us those tiny titties?" he continued, flicking the tip of her pointy nipples. "We miss them, right boys? Bitty or not, we love when Kyle sends us those flat little tits." He made another move towards her breasts and she shrieked.
"Kyle!" She exclaimed, noting that most of the guys in the group had been minding her conversation and now, her breasts. Nobody seemed as confused as her at the comment Kyle's friend had made about them seeing her breasts before.
"Huh?" he burped. She felt her blood boil.
"This guy is asking me to show him my tits! He said he has seen them before. Can't you make him stop?"
"Huh" his eyes rolled around a bit, taking in the situation. His friends looked at her like hyenas. "Yeah, I know what will make them stop..." his face sobered and for a moment, she felt relieved. He broke into a grin and exclaimed "IF YOU SHOW THEM YOUR TITTIES!"
The crowd broke into laughter and began pawing at her chest. Her top ripped as she bolted, using every ounce of strength to break out of their enclosing huddle and raced home. She arrived crying, out of breath, and frantic. She tried to calm her heart rate, taking exaggerated breaths, but she could still hear her pulse in her ears. Horrified at the torn shirt, she ripped the rest of her clothes off and stood, panting, naked in front of her full-length mirror. She looked at her trim body and felt the same absence she always did. It is not that she hated or disliked her body; there was nothing much to dislike. She had just never felt a kinship to her frame. She inspected the lines of her body and felt nothing. It was like looking at a catalog model, nondescript. She had received hundreds of compliments in her lifetime; men and women alike commented on how lucky she was to be toned and slim. She sighed and wished that she understood the charm. She pulled on a jacket and a pair of tennis shoes and resigned to jog off her frantic mood. It was her go-to (and only) coping mechanism.
She began jogging on a different route, cognizant that her typical route would lead her right back to the party she narrowly avoided assault from. As she ran, rain began to fall, lightly at first then heavily, causing fat droplets to burst against her skin. She shivered and looked around for an awning to shelter under. Instead, she noticed the warm glow of a tiny shop, the only one on the block open so late. The glow compelled her and she felt herself drawn to the warmly-lit building with the festive, snowy window display. She could finally make out the cheery-looking sign advertising fresh donuts and hot coffee.
"Well," she thought "at least I can get a hot drink to wait out the rain with." She heard the door jingle before she realized she had pulled open the door.
"Hello!" a tiny old woman greeted her and shuffled to the donut case. "Donut?" she asked with a slight accent, gesturing to the neat rows of pastries.
"Oh I-" she began, intending to correct the woman and order a black coffee instead. Instead, her eyes drifted over to the glass case displaying brightly-colored donuts adorned with shiny glaze, sparkling sugar, and colorful sprinkles. She gulped and shook her head as the woman looked on patiently. "Just a- yes," she blurted, surprising herself. She hadn't had a donut in years, much less at midnight during a run. The woman looked so pleased, she couldn't bring herself to renege on her order. She shuffled to grab tongs and a box.
"Dozen?" She asked sweetly.
"Yes!" Ella blurted and immediately blushed from the panic. "Oh god," she thought, "what a waste. Why did I say that? I am going to have to give these away or throw them out." She internally groaned, kicking herself for not correcting herself before the old woman happily began folding a pink box into shape.
"Which?" The woman smiled innocently, gesturing again with the tongs.
Ella tried to shake her frazzled demeanor and focus on the arbitrary task at hand.
"Who cares?" she thought, "They're all going to be too sweet..."
Still, she focused in on the array of chocolate and maple in front of her.
"Um, the chocolate circle one? And I guess the chocolate bar-shaped one too. And the maple circle one... the maple log too." Ella moved down the glass display and began feeling a bubbling sense of giddiness as she explored the next array of trays.
"The Boston creme? Well, two Boston cremes. The glazed, oh, and an old-fashioned glazed."