Settling into my new life of chastity I began to spend more time thinking about my sexuality rather than getting the cage off and masturbating. I still wanted to do that but I also thought about how I felt turned on when I watched Ella's boyfriend, I was really starting to enjoy looking at his cock, I was even thinking about it regularly.
I contemplated what and how future events would unfold but Ella was so unpredictable, she mixed mind games and extreme sexual acts together with the fact that I was under the spell of her naked body. I was so hung up in the moment I could never think ahead, I was always under their control, and when I was "free" I was thinking about them.
Maybe I was getting used to my new strange life, so much so that it became a normal routine, I didn't feel as anxious as before when my weekly therapy session was coming up and I made sure to be on time for my appointment.
Taking a shower, being cleanly shaved and smooth was also a new thing I added before my visits to Ella's office. In case she decided I had to be naked which was often the case.
Time passed quickly and I was yet again due for my next appointment. I was on time and when I approached her office she was already expecting me. Ella was wearing a tailor made suit with stripes and a skirt past her knees. She wore her glasses and looked extremely professional. "Oh wow!" Was my reaction.
"Thank you! My clients pay very well and sex therapy can be very profitable. You're my only pro bono work but you're also my first and very dear patient." Ella explained to me as she welcomed me in the room and we both sat down across each other.
"As you may have noticed, I'm not wearing your key today, I left it at home. You're not going to be unlocked. This will be exclusively a psychological evaluation of the physical experiences you have endured so far. I also have pictures I want your insight on." She explained to me while my heart sank a little, I looked at her neck and it was true, there was no small chain that usually held my key. I was not going to be unlocked and just knowing that made me swell a little in the cage.
She took out a clipboard and pen, laid back into her seat and started to ask me questions that cut deep. "What went trough your mind the last time when I kicked you out after you came?"
"I stood outside for a little bit and wondered what you would do after I left. I thought about you guys laughing at me behind my back and then fucking some more." I tried my best to behave as if it was a normal and confidential conversation.
"There is a reason why people think about the worst case scenarios in these types of situations, it's because the simplest answer is often the correct one. More often than not what you thought is what usually happens, and it did happen just like that. We laughed at you and I jerked him off while we talked about how pathetic you are, it got him hard fairly quickly, he likes seeing me happy from seeing him humiliate and dominate you. After that he fucked my ass some more. We've been doing exclusively anal only since then and it has been very enjoyable even though my pussy has been feeling a little neglected." She explained in the calmest way.
I didn't have a response but I was visibly shaken by what she said.
"It's important you share how you're feeling, I want detailed thoughts on my remarks, don't hesitate to speak your mind, it's very important for my evaluation. This type of therapy is very new and developing so your input is invaluable!" She encouraged me.
"Um, well, it really hurts knowing that you laugh at me behind my back..." I tried to keep it together.
"Go on, Tell me how the rest makes you feel, tell me how much it hurts you." Ella was writing down with a haste and listening intently.
"And it's strange that both of you get off so much on humiliating me. I mean...I'd like it more if I could just watch and jerk off." I explained while she wrote.
"And it makes me really jealous knowing how much sex you two have and now only anal. I think about you a lot and I know that while I'm locked up he's pumping you."
"Are you noticing a difference in the way my boyfriend treats you? Not only how he speaks to you now compared to before but also the way he uses and dominates you?" Ella made a small grimace with her face.
"He seems more comfortable with me touching him than before, I feel like he likes it more. And he's putting on a show for you when he bosses me around."
"Do you like being bossed around in general or just by beautiful women like me and horse hung studs like him?" Ella bit the end of the pen seductively.
" I really can't tell..." even I was unsure.
"I really like it when he told you exactly how to touch his large cock, how to stroke it, how to lick it, the way to prepare him for me. I love watching you pleasure him. He's confident in his masculinity even when a homo like you is involved." Ella circled something in her notes.
"He can be demanding at times, it's hard to stroke him for a while because he's thick and heavy, and blowing him feels like a chore because he stays hard all the time. It takes a lot of the pain away when I know that it turns you on when I play with him but I wish the abuse wasn't a part of it." I looked at her writing up my feelings.
"Nothing turns me on more than seeing him come up with new and creative ways to bully and humiliate you. I love watching him emasculate you, it adds to my viewing pleasure knowing that it hurts you." Ella stopped writing at looked me in the eyes as she said that.
"Does it always have to be this way? Will it change?" I asked almost begging.
"As Long as You're a loser with a small dick that likes to watch, it won't, and you need to accept that. The goal of your therapy is to accept the fact that you will stay a virgin, that you have a small dick, that you can't hold your load." Ella paused for a moment to let her words sink in and then continued "You need to accept being bullied by superior men like my boyfriend, you need to accept that you're not a real man."
I kept my mouth shut trying not to burst into tears as Ella went on.
"You like watching and being humiliated, it's who you are. You're a dirty pervert. People like you shouldn't reproduce and that's why your worthless cum is flushed down the toilet and Nathan releases his in my holes whenever he wants." Her words made me cry and she extended me some paper towels.
"This is a safe space, take your time. Let your emotions out." She encouraged me as I wiped the tears. "What you're feeling is normal. The way for you to accept who you are is a process. Breaking you bit by bit and then letting you recover, giving you a small reward or release then hurting and punishing you again until these 'insults' no longer hurt. Everything I just said is true, you have a hard time accepting it and this is precisely why we need to delve deep into your emotions and feelings."
After I stopped crying she continued "Tell me how it made you feel when your semen got flushed."
"I didn't think about it much because I was focused on finally cumming after a week but now that you mentioned how he always has you to cum on or in it feels really insulting. As if my cum is to be disposed of but his is special. It's like a slap in the face." I explained while clinching the wet paper towels she gave me.
"Hmm, I see...interesting. And OH! I almost forgot, how did you feel about him fucking my ass?" Her eyebrows went up.
"I felt like I lost something that was never mine. It's another thing he did that can't be taken back and I watched it up close and personal. It's something I'll never forget." I confessed.
"Thank you so much for this data. That concludes my questions from past events. I now have a few pictures and scenarios I'd like your opinion on." She took a bunch of pictures and started showing them to me. "What comes to your mind when you see this?"
The picture was a side shot of Nathan's soft swollen cock hanging down with his balls hanging low as well. "That's Nathan's softie."
