Recently there's been a memory I can't get out of my head. Ella, a girl with blue eyes and black hair that's often in a ponytail has been my friend all of my childhood. This particular day the girls track team suffered a streak of losses and the two of us were discussing it at the park. She's on a separate bench laying down and looking up to the clouds. Her voice is filled with gloom as she says, "I'm team captain. Our collective results are most dependent on how I handle my responsibilities. I'm the reason we lost."
"You can't carry that much of the burden. You're doing great. You're the star player." Like a child throwing a tantrum she kicks her legs and covers her face, not even caring her flip flops slipped off which put her soft, pink hinted soles directly in my view. She likes to wear tennis shoes more anyway. The only reason she didn't is because Ella's mom thinks she is overworking herself by running every chance she gets. This stops her from doing that because flip-flops are so bad for running that it's counterproductive to even try. Ella's mom is proud of Ella, but everyone needs healthy limits. Once Ella finishes grumpily mumbling she explains,"That's the reason I have to accept this burden. If I had practiced even half an hour more on weekends I probably could've better encouraged the team. Instead I just wasted that time."
Though it's deadly to do so, I say, "I think you're afraid." As she sits up it's obvious cold anger begins to defeat her sadness, "I'm afraid?"
"Well I think you're a little hesitant to tell your teammates directly what they need to improve on since they've gotten used to relying on you." She's really a considerate and nice person at her core. Because of her kindness she hates to fall short of others expectations. In part because of her pride she is reluctant to accept there's any flaw in that characteristic. She'd rather just try even harder even when the obstacle shouldn't be hers alone to overcome. She lays back down, frustrated and a little embarrassed. "So you're saying I'm unreliable. Thanks David. You're a great friend.
"You're just one person Ella."
"I could be a faster person though."
"You are probably one of the fastest girls in the state and you worked for that harder than I've ever seen anyone work for anything. Your performance in track is admirable."She sways her feet a little. It draws my eye mostly because the rest of her body is down on the bench and further away from me than her feet. The other reason is that I very rarely see her bare feet because of the shoes she wears. Watching them gives me a strange feeling I don't care to understand at the moment, "Okay, okay. Maybe you're a little right."
She sits up again and my eyes meet her cute face and blue eyes. "You don't have to praise me so much I get it."
"We both know you like it. Besides it's true."
A hint of gloom seems to sprout on her face, "Can you promise to forget what I'm about to say?"
"I can promise I won't tell anyone, but I can't just forget it."
"Whatever smarty-pants."Her cheeks turn red, "Over the years I've let you talk me up, yet I don't often compliment you. It's because deep down I really think you're better than me. I've always been trying to catch up to you. I've always chased you when it came to sports and academics. It wasn't my mom that made me determined to be better. Seeing the difference between you and me is what pushes me forward. I've been dishonest by letting you idolize me. I'm sorry." The idea that Ella looks up to me swells my heart with pride. Though I think she sees me as someone that works harder because she looks down on herself, it's still flattering. Just like I idolize her she looks up to me. I like that we're similar in that way. Though I've always seen Ella as just a friend after she outright said how highly she thinks of me and after she blushed, I look down from her face to the outline and curves of her breast shaping her athletic shirt to her bare white legs and feet as the features of a woman.
"You don't need to apologize. I genuinely believe I need to catch-up to your work ethic. Besides when I concretely beat you at something I'll pry some compliments out of you."
After that day, Ella and I have been even more competitive in terms of grades, athletic achievements, and even dumb things like who has the longest music playlist and who can eat the spiciest food. For certain things we were generally serious, but we were very playful about many of our competitions. I don't think she noticed I was falling for her as our friendly rivalry continued. A few months passed. I turned eighteen. Ella turned eighteen earlier in the school year. I celebrated my birthday with friends from the boys track team. It was fun but internally I kept wishing for Ella to be there. As spring break was nearing, I built the courage to pursue her romantically. It's going slowly. We went out to eat a couple times, but I was still too embarrassed to directly tell her about my feelings for her. On top of that it's pretty normal for us to go to a restaurant together so I doubt she even considered I was romantically interested in her. Most recently I gave Ella a poem, but I was so nervous that I very vaguely implied my romantic interest for her. I think I was too vague especially since I often complement her anyway and we're close friends. Emotional conversations aren't exactly irregular for us.
Returning from my memories I release a sigh of frustration. The door to my room swings open and then shut. I turn at my desk to see Ella sitting in my bed. She's been in my room plenty of times before and my parents are comfortable with that. Apparently so comfortable that my mom must've let Ella in even though Dad's at work and she was leaving to go to the store. Still Ella catches me off guard. Didn't she have a meet today? It couldn't have ended too long ago. She must be exhausted. She takes off her shoes and socks. I haven't admitted it to anyone, but ever since that day at the park, her bare toes along with her perfectly curvy soles are just gorgeous to me. Since she's in my room and bare foot I become a little uneasy. Trying to ignore that I ask, "how did the meet go? I'm sorry I couldn't show. I know this team is one of our biggest rivals."
She laughs triumphantly, "We won."
In a voice a little shocked, but mostly joyful, I say, "That's great Ella. I'm sure the coach will find some grand way to celebrate." That must be why she came over here: to celebrate.
"We better celebrate, but right now that just sounds exhausting."
"In that case you should probably go rest. I appreciate you telling me the news in person, but knowing you, you definitely over worked your body."
"As if you're one to talk. You're just looking for an excuse to kick me out. Maybe I want to take a nap right here."
Her teasing reply makes me hesitate for a second. The thought of her sleeping in my bed distracts me and it causes a blissful image of her sleeping against me to appear in my mind. I manage to refocus on reality. "I'm seriously concerned about you. You didn't walk here did you?"
