The Monk
More of an inner monologue than the usual experiences last night in my lucid dream; but very interesting, even enlightening. I was in the middle of a state of meditation, a monk in some sort of spiritual discipline that apparently welcomed women and didn't require celibacy. It was beautiful. I could feel the weight of my belly and breasts being pulled down, gravity exerting its inexorable power on my pregnant body. I was sitting cross-legged, facing a gorgeous stream and, further away, a plain-looking housing complex. But I mostly kept my eyes closed, letting my inner thoughts and mental images lead the way.
I felt very grateful to be a monk in my condition: if this was some form of Buddhism, it must've been a very reformed version. And we must have had an especially liberal guru at the helm, what with my obviously-not-celibate form. It couldn't even be hidden by the loose monk's robes at this point, 38 weeks in or so. Visibly pregnant and a monk, however permitted I might have been at this monastery, I couldn't help but feel some shame deep within me. To err may be human, but the entire thing still just felt a little bit wrong. Enough time on my status here and negative feelings about myself: I tried to move on to more productive-feeling thoughts on which to meditate.
I couldn't quite move on from the thoughts of shame, though. But what was there to be ashamed of? Is there a more incredible way to participate in the universe's wonders than to create new life within one's own body? The primary and simplest way to get there was the procreative act, after all (not that there's anything wrong with other methods, or non-procreative sex - very much fine with every bit of it, personally). And why not marvel at the union between penis and vagina?
Evolution had developed these inter-locking genitalia for a wonderful purpose. And then there was the miraculous meeting of one particular sperm and one particular egg! Then the resultant, completely unique person one gives birth to! Pretty astounding stuff, if you ask me; things one could certainly reflect upon with deep reverence for life's mysteries and miracles. Certainly not just shame.
What about women is so objectionable for more conservative spiritual practices? I figured it might be some of our most thoroughly societally sexualized parts. But, was the vaginal canal not the portal via which new life entered the world? And were breasts not what provided nourishment to that hungry new being? They were complicated parts of the body with multiple functions, of course, but one could hardly deny their being critical to the life-making abilities of humanity. I didn't think society's sexual hang-ups should prevent me from considering these parts of mine in a more reverent light.
I tried to get away from rationalizing my shame away, rather successful though I'd been. Placing my focus on more physical concerns, I concentrated for a few minutes on the weight of my expectant body. My belly hung just an inch or so from the ground in my cross-legged position, the unavoidable force of gravity feeling as though it was pulling my whole body forward. My breasts, heavily swollen with milk, further shifted my center of gravity. I had to consciously lean myself backwards in order not to topple over forwards. The weights of new life and that new life's food were a delight to so palpably have within my own very human form. What amazing growth the female form was capable of, and to what incredible ends!
I thought about those ends for a few seconds, briefly inviting panic into my meditation. Thinking about childbirth tended to bring my inner anxiety right to the forefront of my mind. I would be attempting to give birth as naturally as was safely possible, and was anticipating a great deal of pain in the process. I forced myself to breathe deeply for a minute or two, focusing again on the weight of my belly pulling me down. I managed to shift my attention to another topic pretty quickly and fully, so that was a good affirmation of my meditation's efficacy.
I thought about the fact that I'd been a new life in my mother's womb long before I carried a new life in my own. And my mother in her mother's before that. Et cetera, et cetera: an amazing, magical biological lineage. Just a series of dang miracles, occurring every 25 years or so. Even more incredible was the more cosmic view of our lineage: everything came from the Big Bang, after all. We were all the endless variations of recombined atoms that had existed since the beginning of time, and would continue to exist long after us. And somehow, the honor of combining these atoms into a new life was happening right inside my body. Awe-inspiring stuff.
At the end of my meditation, I had pretty firmly come to a place of complete, reverent marveling at my role as a pregnant woman. What outside of this could possibly be more worthy of spiritual contemplation? And who was more suited to contemplate the spiritual than a pregnant woman? I was very much contented.
The Bartender
Last night I was an attractive young pregnant bartender, dispensing drinks to a handful of pathetic looking drunks. I was more than a little bored and more than a lot horny; luckily, it was just a few minutes before closing time. I scouted the potential talent in front of me, settling on a relatively fit, exceedingly drunk regular in his mid-20s. The apartment upstairs was my residence, so I wouldn't have to drag his wasted ass very far to get him into my bed. I was 37 weeks along, gravid and unwieldy: if I could just get him supine and erect on my bed, though, I could ride a mean dick to my heart's content. Never too pregnant for that, I'd discovered.
The last few minutes of business expire, and I rush out the handful of drunks...minus my fuck-target. Him I carefully guide up the stairs out back, talking him through the process of walking step-by-step: I can't carry a man to bed in my condition, after all. It takes a minute, but I get him into my apartment, then my room, fully naked, and ultimately onto my bed. I continued speaking to him loudly and demanding responses, not wanting him to pass out or lose the ability to consent: I was a massive and massively horny preggo, not a date rapist.
He moaned loudly as I took him in my mouth to get him hard. It took a minute, what with his inebriation, but I was persistent and enthusiastic; he was ready for penetration in four or five minutes. I mounted him, his eyes widening at my pregnant weight rested on his crotch region, belly resting on his lower abdomen. He wasn't too drunk to grab my tits as I bounced, which felt great. I rubbed my clit with one hand and steadied my bump with the other as I rode him hard.