"Jesus Christ! Not another one!" Nellie shouted from the kitchen.
I was in the living room. "What?" I shouted back.
"Another fucking dick pic!"
"A what?" I thought, before shouting "A WHAT?"
"I posted a selfie, and some asshole sent me a picture of his junk."
I ran to the kitchen. Nellie held out her phone. Sure enough, a stiff white cut cock filled the screen.
"Pretty much guaranteed I'll get one whenever I post a selfie," Nellie noted.
I was shocked. Why would somebody do this? What were guys expecting to get out of it? Did they expect my wife to reply favorably? Maybe offer to meet up somewhere?
"I've got more," she said. "Wanna see?"
She opened up a folder full of dick pics without waiting for a reply. Dicks of all sizes, shapes, and colors, cut and uncut. Never more of the body than the crotch area. All very anonymous.
"Why don't you lock your account so the public can't see your selfies?" I asked.
Wrong question. "FUCK OFF!" she shouted. "Do NOT make this out to be MY fault! I didn't post ANYTHING sexy or ask for this in any way! You men just can't help yourselves! You're all as worthless as yellow snow!"
I ignored her outburst. I was focused on the pictures. Nellie wasn't what I would think guys would find "hot". I mean, she's fine, probably a little better than average. Kind of an asshole. But they wouldn't know that. Did this many guys find my wife desirable?
What if they did?
What if they wanted to meet her somewhere? Slip a hand around to pull her in close. Move down to her ass. What if...
"OH MY GOD!" Nellie suddenly shrieked. "Are you getting hard?"
Before I could realize if I even was or not, she grabbed at the front of my pants. "HOLY FUCK! THIS IS ACTUALLY TURNING YOU ON!"
WAS it turning me on?
"Are you GAY?" she shouted.
"What?" I stammered? "NO! How could you even ask me that?"
"Well you're looking at all this man meat and it's clearly turning you on," she snapped back. "It might explain the lackluster sex WE have anymore."
I was so mad, I stormed out the door and stared walking down the street. How DARE she accuse me of such a thing. She had NO idea where my mind was going. I stewed over this, not really calming down at all, as I circled the block and saw our car pulling out of the driveway.
"Get in!" Nellie shouted.
I complied without even thinking about it. I didn't say a word.